Friday, December 19, 2008

Love letter

Salam Abah,

If you are here, I'm sure you'll gonna love E-am. In fact, you'll be tired talking to him. He's only quite when he is asleep while when his eyes are open, so does his mouth. He is full of ideas, just like you Abah. Every night, before he go to sleep he will ask me or Mama to read his bedtime story books. I remember you use to told him 'momok' stories like zombie kampung pisang when he was only 2. Yes, he still love horror story which I even scared to tell. It must have been you who gave him ideas of listening to stories before he go to sleep. And he still demand that until today. Besides talking, he also loves dancing every time he listen to his favourite songs like the 'move it, move it' songs from the Madagascar. We took him to the movies with Indah early this month. They were such a BFF(best friend forever) type of friends. I know it has been always your dream to brought E-am to watch movies with you. Don't worry Abah, we'll definitely have you in our heart every time we watch movies. E-am also loves songs especially I'm Yours by Jason Mraz. We have that songs in our car and it has been played for so so many times. Even yesterday, we were in Pasar Malam, out of nowhere he heard that songs been played and you can see his face lighted. 'Mummy, I'm yours!'. He's indeed mine. Owh, how I wish you could witness E-am's development day by day

I'll turn 30 next year. I'm 3 1/2 month pregnant now. You will have your second grandchildren by end of June, insyallah. How fast time flies, Abah. Memories of me growing up feels like yesterday, but look at me now. Married with kids and not to forget still overweight ( i dont blame u and mama :P). But I'm happy for what I am and thankful to Allah.

Rest in peace Abah, for I shall meet you again when my times come. Only Allah knows how much I miss you...

Love,
Yan


Eam and Tok Abah in Sydney march 2008

Monday, December 01, 2008

updates

I'm 9 weeks pregnant and it's been like a roller coaster ride. Up and down we go...wheeee...mabuk.ok.mabuk.ok. If I'm not the one who puke, then Pojee will. During E-am time, it was a smooth sailing pregnancy. This time around, memang lain macam skit.
E-am have start calling himself, Abang E-am. He would ask me, 'mana baby mummy?' I said 'Baby is soo kecik inside here'. Then he will peek inside my dress to find his baby. 'Tade poon mummy...' And recently he has persuade us to call him BABY KULUS (baby kurus). I'm still wondering where he got this weird idea.
Work is as usual, hectic. Excited with new products, new style, new groove. In the meantime, I have started doing some inventory for Abah's art collections. With the help from Manggisian and my cousin, so far 370 works has been documented. About 1700 more to go. I'm also looking for a person to work dedicatedly for this art collections. Preferably a person who loves art. So if you know anyone, who is interested please send the resume to me- nazura@manggis.tv

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Pregnancy Mode again

As you can see on the ticker above, yeap. I am . Alhamdullilah, finally I saw the 2 lines after few attempt. Allah hear my prayers. I hope i will have a good pregnancy and deliver safely. Wish me luck!

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Every Mom proud moment


Doa Recital by Ilham from nazura rahime on Vimeo.

This is a wonderful moment for me to see E-am recite doa makan. Owh...I m so ecxcited and been talking about this over and over again.

Tuesday, October 07, 2008

First time writer

I was asked to write about my late father for his exhibition in National Art Gallery soon. I'm very nervous since I have no experience in writing except for this blog. I don't know what to write but I know to write about truth on my personal experience. So dear friends, please feel free to read and comment. Really appreciate for any feedback for my writings.



Abahku, Hj Rahime Harun
1954-2008
oleh Nazura Zahian Rahime


I've lived a life that's full -
I've travelled each and every highway.
And more, much more than this,
I did it my way…

Terasa bagai semalam kudengar Abah menyanyikan lagu My Way oleh
Frank Sinatra. Aduh, manisnya saat-saat itu. Kami menyanyi riang sekeluarga.
Kini yang tinggal hanyalah imbasan-imbasan kenangan yang aku simpan di kotak memoriku.

Aku dibesarkan dengan penuh warna-warni. Persekitaranku penuh dengan visual seni tampak. Dari Anak Alam aku habiskan masa hujung mingguku dengan belajar melukis hinggalah ke alam Central Market aku belajar berniaga menjual poskad. Anak Alam dan Central Market seumpama rumah keduaku. Pelukis dan penyair yang menjadi teman Abah, ku panggil Pakcik atau Uncle. Tiada apa yang asing bagiku. Kami adalah keluarga di atas nama cinta seni.

Kami hidup serba sederhana. Yang aku tahu, seni adalah segala-galanya buat Abah. Biarlah rumah kami kecil, asal harta seni kami besar. Biarlah kereta Abah second hand, asal Abah dapat bantu insan seni. Itulah abahku, Rahime Harun. Seorang insan yang berjiwa besar dan sangat berpandangan jauh.

Seingatku, belum pernah aku tinggal di ruang yang dindingnya kosong. Sewaktu aku di bangku sekolah, pelajaran pertama yang sering Abah titik beratkan adalah matapelajaran seni. Malah setiap kali aku pulang dari sekolah dengan kad laporan, mata Abah pasti tertumpu pada markah pendidikan seni. Mujur, aku melepasi piawaian yang Abah tetapkan. Masih ingat lagi aku dengan kata-kata Abah sewaktu aku belajar teknik watercolour wet on wet. Katanya, “ A brush is like a dancer on a stage”. Waktu itu, aku bingung menterjemahkan metafora itu.

Selain daripada seni tampak, Abah punya minat dalam teater dan filem. Malam mingguku dipenuhi dengan aktiviti menonton teater ataupun menonton wayang di Cathay sambil menikmati hotdog special. Dalam perjalanan pulang, Abah sering membuat mini critic session di kalangan Mama dan aku. Pandanganku didengar tanpa diskriminasi walaupun waktu itu aku masih bersekolah rendah.

Abah punya jiwa yang sensitive apabila menonton filem yang menyentuh hati. Entah berapa kali, Abah menitis air mata selepas melihat filem yang punya penceritaan yang indah. Pernah juga dia meluahkan hasratnya untuk membuat filem pendek bersama-samaku, namun atas kebatasan waktu kami simpan hasrat itu.

Abah sangat gemar menjelajahi dunia. Abah pernah berkata“ If I travel, I feel so much alive”. Benar, kata-kata Abah. Setiap kali kami ke luar Negara, Abahlah orang yang berjalan paling laju. Aku dan Mama sering tertanya-tanya bagaimana dia punya tenaga yang banyak sedangkan ketika di rumah dia nampak kurang sihat. Tempat wajib yang pasti dituju adalah muzium-muzium seni. Sewaktu aku berusia 5 tahun, aku dibawa menikmati lukisan-lukisan tersohor Eropah. Namun waktu itu, apalah yang anak kecil ini tahu tentang Picasso, Van Gogh dan Monet. Aku akan memuncungkan mulutku tanda protes kerana aku sudah bosan dengan muzium seni. Tanpa putus asa, Abah akan menggendongku dibelakangnya untuk meneruskan perjalanan menjelajahi warisan seni dunia.

Pada tahun 1984, Abah berpeluang belajar di Turin, Italy di dalam pengurusan usahawan. Sewaktu itu Abah sempat menziarahi Peggy Guggenheim muzium di Venice. Bermula dari situlah, Abah menyimpan hasrat untuk mempunyai muzium seninya sendiri. Aku masih ingat kami sekeluarga berjalan kaki dari Central Park ke Solomon R.Guggenheim Museum di New York berbekalkan roti telur yang dimasak oleh Abah. Terakhir sekali, Abah sempat pergi ke Guggenheim Bilboa di Spain bersama-sama Mama pada tahun 2007. Sewaktu itu Abah sudah mula kurang sihat namun kerana keinginannya untuk sampai ke muzium idolanya, Abah gagahi langkahnya. Setiap kali Abah ke Guggenheim muzium, Abah pasti meluahkan impiannya. “One day, I will have my own museum”. Besar sungguh impian Abah.

Tahun demi tahun, semakin banyak hasil seni bertambah di premis kami. Ada sahaja lukisan dan arca baru dibawa pulang oleh Abah. Aku pula semakin dewasa, sudah tamat pengajian di dalam jurusan creative multimedia. Hasrat Abah untuk aku mengambil alih perniagaannya aku tolak dengan rasa berat. Padaku, biarlah aku belajar dari bawah dalam dunia perniagaan yang aku cipta bersama teman karibku kini suamiku. Alhamdullilah, Abah dan Mama menyokong penuh dengan apa yang kami usahakan. Pernah aku melihat Abah menangis melihat hasil kerjaku. Aku tersenyum bangga kerana berjaya mengusik jiwa Abah.

Awal tahun 2008, Abah sering bertanya padaku, “Bila kita nak pergi holiday dengan
E-am ( panggilan nama anakku)? Abah teringin nak pergi holiday dengan cucu”.
Aku sendiri sudah lama tidak bercuti dengan Abah dan Mama semenjak aku berkahwin. Dengan izin Allah, kami berlima berangkat ke Australia. Destinasi kami bermula dari Sydney kemudian kami memandu ke Melbourne. Berkali-kali dalam perjalanan kami ke Melbourne, Abah mengucapkan Allah HuAkbar memuji-muji kebesaran Allah di bumi asing ini. Tidak kusangka, percutian kami yang dipenuhi gelak ketawa di akhiri dengan tangisan apabila Abah diserang sakit jantung di rumah sepupuku, Fadhli Rahim di Brunswick, Melbourne. Abah koma selama 2 hari di Wad ICU di Royal Melbourne Hospital. Kami masih mengharap Abah akan pulih namun tiada apa yang dapat melawan takdir ketentuan Ilahi. Pada 12 Mac 2008 jam 740 malam waktu Melbourne, Abah menghembuskan nafas terakhirnya dengan tenang.
Masih teringat lagi Mama menceritakan padaku sebelum Abah meninggalkan rumah, didalam doa solat musafirnya, Abah berdoa “Ya Tuhanku, aku bermusafir untuk melihat kebesaranmu, Ya Allah”. Abah seumpama tahu bahawa dia akan pergi buat selama-lamanya.
Kami Redha dengan ketentuanmu, Ya Allah.

Abah,
Kami sekeluarga sangat-sangat merinduimu. Kami rindu dengan gelak tawamu. Kami rindu dengan masakanmu. Masih terlalu banyak yang belum aku pelajari daripadamu. Masih terlalu banyak cerita yang belum Abah sampaikan padaku, Namun yang pasti aku sangat mengerti dan memahami impianmu. Impianmu akan ku galas dengan penuh rasa cinta dan tanggungjawap. Damailah disana, Abah. Semoga rohmu dicucuri rahmat dan semoga segala kebaikanmu mengiringi perjalananmu.

Terasa seperti baru aku memeluk Abah dengan deraian air mata.

Abah tidak meninggalkan aku bersedihan tetapi Abah telah meninggalkan impiannya untuk ku kejar sepanjang hayatku… Inilah legasi keluarga kami.

Inilah Legasi Rahime Harun.

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Kerana Cinta Aku Kembara-Los Angeles

The last time I was in LA was probably in 1989 with Abah and Mama. I was 10. What do you expect, the only thing that I remember was Disneyland and my hilarious roller coster ride with Abah. Owh, the good old days...

Every time I travel, I love to experience the people, the life, and yes the food.

caption for this photo would be "Talk to the hand, I'm having my taco now"
The truth is taco is not American food. We all know its from Mexico. But I guess I'm very much influence with Chillies Restaurant back at home. By the way, what is American Food? Mc Donald? KFC? Anyone?

We commute to one place to the other by the subway/metro. Very convenient, efficient and cheap.



First stop would be...Holywood. Like all tourist, we didn't miss our chance taking photos at the Walk of Fame and some other famous spots.

Next stop was the Universal Studio, LA. Since we ve heard few reviews saying that Orlando's Universal Studio is much more bigger and better so we decided not to waste our $$ for this entrance ticket. So just amik gambar jelah. Cukup syarat kan. And don't ask me why, this man is posing this way. For those who know Pojee, knows him la kan.

So we eat, yes eat again at the Bubba Gump Shrimp Co which I know now is also available at The Curve. Thanks to Naza Group who is responsible to bring this food chain in Malaysia. So as you guys can see me with my wide smile(smpai x nampak mata) it means goood la tuh.


Next stop, Walt Disney Hall. Since I got married to Pojee, I learn to appreciate and experience the architecture of a building. So apart from food, food and art museums, significant buildings is also what we search in the foreign land.

Monday, August 25, 2008

Kerana Cinta Aku Kembara...

August has been an extremely hectic month. So many things going on. Overload assignments, staff quitting their jobs and not to forget our extensive coverage for Kuala Lumpur World Marching Band Competition (KLWMBC). And yet, me and Pojee did a very brave move which we travel to the other side of the world within this crazy time of our life.

"Kerana cinta...aku kembara...." ( For the sake of love, i travel...)



At first, we were very contemplating with our decision. But when you got to go, you just got to go. I just thought that we need to move. Move on with our lives, move on with our ideas and jump outside our nice and comfy box. Enough said, decision has been made, bought our tickets, our bags are pack and we are ready to go.

The route for this trip was Malaysia-Los Angeles-Orlando-New York-Malaysia
( Yup, it s a trip around the world. And I'm very happy to claim that I've travel around the world.)
The whole trip took us almost 2 weeks(i wish its 2 months) but I can't barely leave my love of my life, my baby, my Ilham.
We left Malaysia on 7 August 2008 at 330pm.

Malaysia Airlines. Transit in Taipei. Pack flight. Maid of Honour. Ugly Betty. loads of juice.

Arrive in Los Angeles on the same day at 6pm. Pojee got stuck with the immigration for like 2 hours. Grrrr...We were told it was a random check( yeahh, rightt??). Our food stock load with chicken curry and all the goodies were stolen by the god knows what officer.

:( there my chicken goes, there she goes again ( remember that song?)

Check in Ramada Plaza Hotel, El Segundo. Good deal for USD79.

to be continue...

Monday, July 14, 2008



Dear Ilham,

I promise you to give you all the love. I ll taught you like what Tok Abah & Tok Ma taught me. You ll be my hope and my shinning amour. One day, you'll make us proud. Mummy loves you very much.

Your existence makes my life complete and more meaningful. You will be me sunshine everyday, forever.

Hugs,
Mummy

Friday, July 11, 2008

Mama



My love for her is beyond words. I could not find the right words to express my feelings for her. I guess that s why it took me so long a write about her.

She who i call mama, is the queen of my heart. Her love, strength and kindness that keep me being what I am. Being the only daughter and the only child left me with a greater responsibility. I know I am built to be that person for what I ve been trained for the passed 29 years and still learning. My mama is my pillar of strenght, only allah knows what I do without her...
in celebrating my love for her i decide to write about my mama. Zarina ariffin was born on 21 nov 1955 at Kota Bahru,Kelantan. I would consider her garang during my childhood years. Hey she's a scorpion, what do you expect? My mother was trained as a jewellery designer in Fine Metal, School of Art and Design, ITM (now known as UITM). That's where she met my Abah. My abah was a senior by 1 year on a different major. He was then in industrial design of the same school. I recall abah one day told me that he could still remember how sweet n petite was my mom on her first orientation week. I guess the courtship happens after that and once they graduated,they got married on December 1977. On 14 march 1979 I was born. According to mama, giving birth to me was really hard. I was born more than 9 months, kata org melayu lebih bulan. No wonder I was always over weight, over fed and overjoy.keh keh keh...

My mama broad me up with love and courage to be independent. Even though, I am the only child but I was never been pampered like what people thought. Mama would rotan me if I woke up late and if I escaped doing the house chores. At that time, we do have a maid but Mama remind me that never treat her like a maid. Mama said "You should be helping her just like your sister". My family lives in a moderate life. Since I was small, Mama taught me on how hard to earn money. She said you need to work for it. For instance, she would put a budget for my cloths say RM20 and if I want to have a cloth at RM30, I need to top up myself. So with that, I need to work. I ve done all sort of cleaning work in the workshop and I also take care of my parents shop in Central Market.

Since I was in primary school, I would share most of my stories with Mama. (Well, adalah yang PNC and tak boleh share) Mama remember all my friends since primary school until now. Mama knew who I admire and who I dislike. Mama will be my motivator, every time I feel down. I always thought that she has this extra instinct as a mother. Mana boleh tipu dia, sure dia tau. And if she said don't go then I better follow otherwise something bad might happen. Tak berkat orang kata kalau lawan cakap mak ni. It happens to me all time. I even let her know that I'm going to clubbing or going out with boys etc. So basicly, Mama knows almost everything. And for myself, I feel better talking to her. It ease my mind.

Mama have such a big heart. She always put other people first than her. Whoever who knew her, will agree with me. At times, I would argue why she s been so nice to people and as a result people take advantage of her. She said, 'Allah beri kita rezeki untuk dikongsi bersama yang lain'. So I rest my case.

Allah uji hambanya dengan pelbagai dugaan kerana hambanya ini mampu menanggung ujian itu.

Mama was diagnosed with Cancer on August 2007. It hit us and we were all in shocked. Abah was sad and I was clueless. ( i had my post on august 2007 on this issue). It took us awhile to gain our positive energy. It s been almost a year now, Mama had successfully complete her 6 session chemo, did her hajj this year with Arwah Abah, complete her oxygen therapy and have been traveling like she used to. Cancer is a disease but it s a life changing process for us. It change our view of life. Everyday, I pray that Allah panjangkan umur Mama, sembuhkan penyakitnya serta kuatkan semangat Mama untuk menghadapi dugaan yang mendatang.

For this I conclude this entry with this song...

Kau begitu sempurna
Di mataku kau begitu indah
Kau membuat diriku akan selalu memujamu

Di setiap langkahku ku kan
selalu memikirkan dirimu
Tak bisa ku bayangkan
Hidupku tanpa cintamu

Bridge:
Janganlah kau tinggalkan diriku
tak kan mampu menghadapi semua
Hanya bersamamu ku akan bisa

Coda:
Kau adalah darahku
Kau adalah jantungku
Kau adalah hidup ku lengkapi diriku oh sayang engkau begitu sempurna .. sempurna

Kau genggam tanganku saat diriku lemah dan terjatuhk au bisikkan dan hapus semua sesalku

Reff:
Kau adalah darahku
Kau adalah jantungku
Kau adalah hidup ku lengkapi diriku oh sayang engkau begitu sempurna .. sempurna
Sayangku engkau begitu sempurna.. sempurna.. sempurna..

I love you Mama.

Tuesday, July 08, 2008

Friend

To be a friend and to have friends is one of the noblest goals for which we can aim. Friendship is complex and has many facets, but it certainly exhibits the following five attributes:

Friendship means understanding and being understood... Friendship means affirming and being affirmed... Friendship means accepting and being accepted... Friendship means helping and being helped... Friendship means forgiving and being forgiven.

-- David J. Claasen


Cheers everyone, hope you guys had a great weekend. Mine was awesome. Meeting new clients in Mid Valley and having the opportunity to show our work is a satisfying moment for me. Call me sentimental, but I cried few times while doing my editing for manggis new promo. Few times I said to myself, I love my job.It 's all worth it. And syukur, Allah give me the talent for what I do.

Anyway, I would like to write about the above subject. Not a pro in this matter but I do know what a friend means.
I define friend as a person who you can be yourself. I don't have to pretend to be what they want me to be but most of all, just BE ME. As what David J. Claasen said ' Friendship means accepting and being accepted'.

A good friend tells you right in front of your face if you did wrong. A good friend fight. A good friend will confront you if you had any miscommunication. A good friend talk heart to heart. A good friend will be there when you need them. A good friend will share all your happiest moment in life. Most of all, Friendship means forgiving and being forgiven.

Life is short to have negative energy around us

Happy Life everyone!

Monday, June 30, 2008

My poor baby E-am



He had his haircut.

sigh...

hilang his charm with his freestyle hair.

uwaaaa :((

*anaknya rilex je, maknya yang overr.... anyway... uwaaaaa,,x tido malam tgk rambut e-am baru. so gonjeng!

Thursday, June 26, 2008

My Manggis, My Life

Saturday, June 14, 2008

Updates

My life been running fast lately. It seems my time is never enough. I ve been juggling with few responsibilities. My brain runs dry at times but hey no regrets. I love challenges and this is what I ask for. So Nazura, ambiklaa ko! Nak sangat cabaran...
So many things to update here. Hmm...let me start from the love of my life, Ilham aka E-am.

E-am will turn 3 this September. Whoaa..cepatnya kan... Its time to bake another little rascal, don't you guys think? OK.OK. MAKE BABY MODE:ON. How I wish its so easy kan... Ok, back to my son E-am. He is now everyday in Nursery. Thank God, he manage to fit in with his new friends. No more tears when I mention school. In fact, he would voluntarily jump of inside the car for school. So my routine will be like most working mom, sending my son to the nursery. His Toksu Jebat will pick him up from school and E-am will wait for Acu with anticipation. Like all kids(especially boys), E-am is very much into active activities. Currently, he is into football and obsess with his oyek-oyek(korek2) angkat which mean tractors. New hobby seems to be reading books. Unbelievable! It starts with me buying 1 storybook for his bedtime story. Every night Tok Ma will read for him before he go to sleep. And eventually, he starts to be demanding for us to read the story allll the time. Like wake up in the morning, cari buku. And while I'm watching TV, he would come to me and ask," Mummy, baca...". Errr...so me and my mom have read his books for more than 10 times. Both of us dah hilang idea nak goreng cerita. hahahahah...

Work. I ve been busy. I would say, my brain is the most busiest organ in my body. How I wish using brain can burn fats... I have a long list of things to do everyday and I would mark done at least half of the list and by tomorrow 1 will add another bunch of things to do. I ve been training myself to divide my time to 3 core business which is my manggis production, manggis fotografik, my family bussiness A.P Art Gallery. With the new arrangement, I am restructuring in few area. Old staff leaving and new staff coming in. New spirit of Manggis. Anyway, for those whose leaving Manggis, I wish you all the best and thank you for your service. For new staffs, I wish you Welcome to Manggis. You ve been selected to join our creative, fun and professional team. It will be a joyride of your lifetime.

In the meantime, I m trying my best to balance up work and life. I promise myself not to be so much career oriented until I forgot my family and my Allah. I want to be a better person. Better wife, better daughter, better mother and a better muslimah. Ya Allah, peliharalah imanku, solatku serta perkenankanlah doaku...

Its been 3 months since Abah left us. Rindunyaa dengan Abah...

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

A journal of a man I dearly love



click here to view the whole journal

*all sketches were done by Rahime Harun. He got his diary where he write poems and sketch his memories.

Friday, May 16, 2008

A tribute





On last 13 May 2008, an exhibition 'Cerita-cerita lain' was held at Muzium & Galeri Tuanku Fauziah, USM. A tribute for my late father Allahyarham Hj Rahime Harun was also done on the launching day. My late father had donated almost 30 pcs of his work and my mom's work to the museum last year. He also did some free lecture to the art students there. I recall my father used to say that he would not want to claim his lecture because he feels that it is his contribution to the society. At that time, I did not understand why he likes to do free job for people but after reading this:

“Apabila mati seseorang anak adam, terputuslah segala amalannya melainkan 3 perkara ; Sedekah Jariah, Ilmu Yang Bermanfaat dan Anak Yang Soleh Yang Mendoakannya”

I finally understand, Abah.

Thursday, May 08, 2008

Happy Mother's Day : 11 May 2008




This year is my 3rd year celebrating Mothers Day. E-am know nuts about mother s day compared to Indah. Boy i cant wait to see him make me a card or even hug me with a mother s day wishes. Or only girls being thoughful with this sort of ocassion compared to boys..hmmm.
So what i did on mother s day? I free myself frm being mummy.hehehhe.selfish eh? Owh,,,i think i deserve a little break and have fun with my girlfriends. After a little chat with sity, I later send a message to all my uni girlfriends for a girls outing at the curve. So out of many girls(dont we feel good calling ourselves girls..ooo..i like), 7 girls turn up. They are sity, aida, lin, apit,nadya and maya ( eventho u r late maya, u are still counted okk,the effort that counts) oops,not to forget our little Zara n Fayyad. Me,Sity and Aida start the day with 'what happen in vegas' movie. Romantic + comedy movie are just perfect for our girls gathering today. Then, we went to marche for food and chat. Overall i guess everyone had a great time. All went home with an extra kg. Hahahhha.... We should do this more next time girls( i mean chit chat minus the food), no matter which group or geng we are, we should meet up like this. It s a healthy soul exercise, dont u think?



Wednesday, May 07, 2008

My experience : Hospital



For the past few years, Ampang Putri seems to be our second home. With Abah's continuous treatment and then I delivered E-am and later, Mama discovered her cancer in the same place. Even the convenient store salesgirl recognize me with a question ' So who's sick now?'.Well, anyway this entree is not to complain any party but just an experience which I would like to share with the readers. It goes something like this:

During my short stay in Royal Melbourne Hospital , I realized how much difference between our hospital and theirs. I'm not complaining about our hospital but I just thought how well sick people been treated so nice in a foreign land.
I lay down few real scenario that I ve experience in this hospital which I think is the best hospital I ever experienced.
(Please note that this hospital is just a goverment hospital in Melbourne).

Scenario 1
I would start the first scenario when my Abah had his sudden heart attack in my cousin's home at Brunswick. The first thing that connect us was the first emergency phone call that we ve made. The operator advised us to remain calm and continue with the CPR which we had started before we called them. Just within 5 or 10 minutes, we could hear the sirens. Once the paramedic reach us, then only we put down the phone with the operators.
(macam 911 programmed kan?)

Scenario 2
When the paramedic reach us, a guy named Craig introduced himself as the team manager. He immediately asked us all the infos like how it happen , his medication etc etc while the other team had started all the necessary procedure on the patient. When I looked out the door, I saw 2 ambulans with 1 fireman truck. I wonder 'eh, rumah terbakar ke ? bomba datang ni'.
Once everything ready to go, we were rushed out to go to the hospital and I remember 1 fireman cleaned up the rubbish that they have made before they left. Surprised? I AM.

Scenario 3
When we reached the hospital, all documentation runs very fast and we were attended by few personnel in the hospital. We were placed in a waiting room in the ER. The room is equip with water tap, sink and few chairs. Later, a sister named Susan came. She updated us what's going on and asked to feel comfortable in that room. We were never left there without not knowing what happen. Every 15 minutes, there were doctors and nurses came to update us. Once, everything stable, we were then moved to the ICU. Without any request, Susan came to me and gave me blankets and pillow for E-am to sleep.

Scenario 4
I, being truly Malaysian, as what we would normally do when we were admitted in our private hospital, first thought was definitely the hospital bills. There, none of them mentioned anything about bills to us. None of us asked us to make any deposit payment. Well, they did asked us wether Abah have any travelling insurans? Nope, he dont have one. And yet, they just smile and said "Don't worry about the bills Nazura, just think about your father now. We will give the best for him". I just stunned there.

Scenario 5
Every time I visited Abah, I noticed there's 1 nurse dedicated for him. Never, he was left alone. All question were answered with smile. There's no question left without an answer or 'let me asked the doctor' answer. Another thing which me and mama would never ever forget was the treatment that were given to Abah during his coma period. I recall one morning, I saw the nurse was holding a toothbrush. I wonder "nurse ni x gosok gigi ke dtg keje?". Then the nurse came to me and asked me to leave the room because she needs to clean up Abah. After 15 minutes, I came back and saw Abah so clean as if he had taken his bath. I then asked them wether do they clean up the patients once a day? The nurse answered "Nope, we do this every 4 hours in a day". I went closely near Abah and noticed that they even put lip balm on him, and not to forget a moisturiser for his eyes and face. I also noticed every 4 hours, they would reposition Abah so that he would not suffer from bed sore. When I touch Abah's feet, I noticed that his legs were padded with a special socks that circulate his blood. Besides the special socks, I realised that Abahs' mattress was also a special one which moves like a waves. Cool eh?

Scenario 6
During Abah's critical moment(nazak), the doctor came to me and asked me wether is there any special ritual things that we might need according to our religion. He then allowed us to have any visitors to visit him. Alhamdullilah, few ustaz came and did their prayer for Abah. Near the ICU, there's also a prayer room which any races can pray according to their religion.

Scenario 7
After Abah passed away, the nurse allowed me to enter the room before they took him to the morgue. The visual of that room was really something I will never forget. Abah face was cleaned and shaved. Beside his body, was a red rose. How thoughtful is that?

Scenario 8
On our last day before we transfered Abah to the Preston Mosque, I asked them again on our bills. Mark, the PR officer told us again that not to worry about that. Just go now and settle all your burial process back in Malaysia. So we just left the hospital without paying a single cent.

So with this 8 scenario, it definitely gave me a different perception on Australian people. It also change my views on how far away we are in hospitality services and facilities towards our people in Malaysia. Again, my experience in Melbourne is just in a goverment hospital, so I cant imagine if it happens in private hospital. Ntah macamanalah servisnya pulak..

Here, we pay for comfort in private hospital but yet nothing can compare the service that we received in Melbourne.

Sebagai pembuka mata dan hati betapa besarnya kuasa Allah, benarlah Allah Maha Pengasih dan Penyayang apabila Allah permudahkan urusan kami serta pelihara Arwah Abah ketika saat dia sakit dan ketika menghembuskan nafas terakhirnya di bumi asing ini.

Friday, May 02, 2008

Al-Fatihah to Tan Sri S.M Nasimuddin

Al-Fatihah

Naza Group Boss, Tan Sri S.M. Nasimuddin S.M. Amin passed away early this morning while undergoing cancer treatment in the United States. He was 53 years old

The news has been confirmed with sources within Naza although details are still sketchy.

It is not known how long he has been suffering from cancer but it is common knowledge that His wife, Puan Sri Zaleha was suffering from cancer some years back andalso underwent treatment in the United States.

We are still waiting for the official Press release on the cause of death and funeral arrangements.

The Naza group of companies is one of the biggest auto-related conglomerate in the country with interests ranging from motorcycles to parallel imports to own-brand assembly.

The passing of Nasimuddin will have a major impact on the industry

taken from http://blog.autoworld.com.my


Tan Sri Nasimuddin's family is one of Manggis clients in their private family events. It is a great honor to have captured their family memories. Semoga Allah mencucuri rahmat ke atas rohnya. Al fatihah.

Sunday, April 20, 2008

40 Days



How fast time flies... Today mark 40 days after Arwah Abah left us. I thought I was getting over it quite well but today it just feel like saying goodbye for the second time to him. It feels the same as the first farewell that we had 40 days back in Melbourne.
I had tears all over me which I don't know why. Strange. I thought. since almost everyday I recite yassin and tahlil in front of his grave but it's exceptional for today. While reciting zikir Allahuakbar with my eyes shut, my tears falls. Today, the roof that have been protecting the grave was moved to the other as if it symbolized that he is ready to rest in peace. As what I understand from some hadis saying that in the period of 40 days, the soul will come and visit his love ones. To see wether are they praying for them and to bid the final farewell. Deep inside me, I know Arwah Abah did come and visit us. I can feel it and even had dreamt on him. I dreamt meeting him and asking him how is he. And with a gleaming smile he said that he's ok. I recall that in that dream he looks younger.
Today we did a Tahlil at the house. Alhamdullilah, almost 100 people came with doa for Arwah. I did a surprised gift for all Arwah Abah's siblings by giving them a photo journal that captured their memories from Abah's childhood days, his college years, family years, umrah and haji trips, the day that I got married, the day he had his first grandchild and the last journey that we had in Melbourne. Many of them had tears in their eyes. I had a tough time designing the journal as it took me days to finish it. Each page was design with tears and flashback memories. It s a very personal work of art.

As the days goes by, I wish I can move forward with my journey of life. But I shall not forget my dear Abah. I hope all my prayers will be his companion in his journey to meet Allah SWT.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

First Time Fajitas


Just a quick note on my accomplishment of making chicken fajitas for the first time. It taste so good... kenapa? Tak percaya ke...

Sunday, April 06, 2008

Teratak kami bagaikan bercahaya dengan kehadiran mereka



Alhamdullilah, syukur...Hajat Kak Mimi & Abg Didi terlaksana sudah untuk mengadakan majlis pembacaan dan khatam al quran buat Arwah Abah. Tak terkata betapa terharunya perasaan kami sekeluarga menyambut kedatangan lebih 40 orang pelajar-pelajar tahfiz ke teratak kami. Melihat air muka semua anak-anak ini, terbayang betapa sejuknya perut ibu yang mengandung anak-anak tahfiz ini. Kami menjemput mereka di Masjid Ulu Klang selepas waktu Isyak. Melihat kelibat anak-anak yang siap memakai jubah putih berserban, sambil tersemat al quran didada mereka, aduhh...hatiku tersentuh. Alangkah baiknya kalau arwah dapat melihat mereka ini. Datang dengan niat yang suci murni buat seseorang yang mereka tidak kenali.

Ada beberapa perkara buat renungan bersama:

Sketsa 1

Setelah selesai majlis, kami menyerahkan beberapa buah tangan buat pelajar Tahfiz. Kebetulan aku terdengar perbualan mereka.

Pelajar Tahfiz 1: Eh dapat apa dlm bag tu?

Pelajar Tahfiz 2: Dapat Quran aaa...(dengan nada gembira mereka berlalu)

Terdapat banyak lagi buah tangan yang diletakkan dalam beg tu, tapi Al quran memang menarik hati mereka. Kita?

Sketsa 2

Setelah selesai majlis makan, kami menghantar mereka balik semula ke asrama. Di dalam kereta Getz Moksu:

Moksu : Korang ni semua diam-diam je ke?

Pelajar Tahfiz 1 : Banyak cakap, gelap hati kak...

Saturday, April 05, 2008

No more Hugs and Kisses


As some of you know 12 March now is officially my Anniversary and the Day Arwah Abah left us. And Arwah death certificate was registered on 14 March which falls on my Birthday. It was the saddest special day in my entire life. No more hugs and kisses from him. And no more "Happy Birthday, Yan".

It was so sweet of Fadhli and Ayu (my cousin in Melbourne) to bought a nice choc cake for us. But I can t stop crying thinking of how empty I will be after this.

Friday, March 28, 2008

Our Last Journey- Part 3

We were then tested again wether to bring home Arwah or not. Some people in Melbourne advised us not to bring back since everywhere is the land of Allah. The documentation of the process took few days.

Berderai air mata kami lagi memikirkan jika jenazah arwah ditinggalkan dibumi yang asing ini. Tak sampai hati kami berbuat demikian. We want his generations to ziarah him and Melbourne is not near. Arwah still have mother, brothers and sisters whose waiting to see him for the last time. Arwah definitely have mama, me , pojee and e-am.

So, we decide to bring him home. It was a very tough decision but we have to go through all the process. Its our responsibility to bring him home.

Ya Allah, ampunilah dosa kami , kasihanilah kami dan janganlah kau seksa jenazah ini.

During the process of bringing Arwah back, he was placed in the Preston Mosque. Amazingly the mosque was occupied with a cold room. Even the High Commissioner in Canberra surprised by this since normally they would place the body in any parlor house, which means the body were mixed with any religions. So I thought it was a help from Allah. Allah menemukan kami dengan Ummi@Kak Aida and it leads us to meet Hj Saleem who is the President Khairat Kebajikan Victoria. Hj Saleem is the person who introduced us to Abu Mustaffa who is the person in charge for Islamic Burial Services in Victoria. We also received a very big help from Dr Ali who is the MSD in Melbourne. He guided us through all the process. The documentation process took few days to settle. Few certificate need be done to bring back the body. Kami tawakal dan berserah kepada Allah.

Niat kami pergi berlima pulang berlima. Tapi apakan daya, Allah Maha Berkuasa.

We received a call from Dr Ali who advised us to go back first since the tickets were fully booked over the week due to the F1.
Alahai, nak tinggal Abah ke?. Its ok Abah is in the mosque, sudah siap mandi dan dikafankan, kami memujuk hati. So then we took the flight on 15 Mac and with tears we left Melbourne with so many memories. Arwah will come back home on 19 March.

I later received a sms from Fadhli, "Kak Yan, dalam 70 orang datang sembahyang jenazah kat Preston Mosque". Sejuk hati kami. I again thought this is the help from Allah. 70 stranger in a foreign land came and pray for him. Alhamdullilah.

Pada kebiasaannya, kami pulang dari percutian, penuh dengan kegembiraan. Tetapi kali ini, kami pulang disambut dengan air mata tangisan. When we reached home, I saw so many familiar faces with tears. Tahlil diadakan setiap hari di rumah sejak Arwah meninggal. Tahlil juga diadakan di Balai Seni Lukis.We also did tahlil in Melbourne with Kak Aida's family and friends. Not to forget Fairuz's family who came as well. Hundreds of people prayed for Arwah. I hope all the prayers would heal Arwah and brought him home as soon as possible.

Allah Maha Pengasih dan Penyayang.

"Arwah Pakteh akan sampai pada 18 Mac di KLIA". Fadhli sms me.

Alhamdullilah, Allah percepatkan. So on 550am on 18 March, Arwah Abah reached KLIA. Proses pengebumian berjalan dengan lancar sekali. However, I was so touched looking at so many people came on that day. People from different walk of life, were there. From artist, poet, singer, actor, actress , friends in ITM, friends from Haji trip, near or far relatives were all there to give him the penghormatan terakhir.


I thanked all for being there. But most of all to be part of Rahime's life story that only you and him knows and to be remembered our whole life. A man who give so much without asking anything in return. A man who have big heart and passion in what he loves. A man who will always be missed by me.

Datang dan pergi memanglah sesuatu yang pasti. Tapi,bagi Allahyarham Rahime datangnya bertugas dan perginya berbekas.Seni dan ilmu, simpati dan dharma menjadi inti kehidupannya. Takziah, dan kepada keluarganya.Bersabarlah.-- A. SAMAD SAID.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Our last journey-Part 2

10 March 08

We were panicked , stunned and it was all chaos. I knew abah had stroke by looking his physical reaction and I was standing in front of him. I saw his eyes slowly shut. I wonder if I was the last image he saw. Ayu checked Abah's pulse and she said there were none. Mama suddenly said, CPR! CPR!. None of us actually knew how to do CPR and thank god there was Ayu who is a medic student. In the meantime, Fadhli called the ambulance. As what we always watched the 911 TV programme, it happened exactly like that. The operator gave us advice on what to do and just within 10 minutes we could heard the sirens. Then only we put off the phone and the paramedic take charge. As I remembered, there were 2 ambulans, 1 paramedic car and 1 fireman were in front of the house. The paramedic manager, Craig explain us of what s the procedure and starts asking us few questions. After few procedures, abah pulse were back and we were relieved but the feeling of looking him lying motionless is unbearable. After the paramedic stabilized his pulse and heart rate, they brought him in the ambulans. Me, Pojee, E-am, Ayu and Fadhli jumped into the car and rush to the hospital leaving mama with the ambulans. We just want to reach there fast. While we were on the way there, I received a sms from Mama "Patah balik, Abah kena heart attack lagi". Masyallah.

My world turns dark.

It took us 15 minutes to go back home and once we were there the ambulans are about to move. Mama said the pulse is stabilized again. I know Abah is fighting. He is a strong man. He is my hero.



When we reached Royal Melbourne Hospital, we were put on waiting in the waiting room near the ER. An ER doctor came to us and explain what happen. I could never forget the word he said " He had a massive heart attack and most of the patients who experience this wont survive". Allahu Akbar. We tried to console our heart saying that Abah is a strong man, he will fight and he will not gave up.

After few hours waiting there, the ER doctor told us that he will be placed Abah in ICU. A doctor from the ICU greet and explain us again of what had happened. We were very well informed of whats going on.

Abah was transfered to ICU on the same night. Once he was all prepared, we were allowed to see him. Abah was placed in a special room in the ICU. Isolated from the rest and he was attached with a huge machine behind him. I saw few rack of drugs and tube attached to his veins. Apalah yang terdaya lagi untuk kami lakukan hanya berdoa kepada Allah.



11 March 08

We slept at the waiting room near the ICU. It was a long night. Sleepless night. Mama tak henti-henti berzikir. Al Fatihah was on my lips all the time. Doctors were walking in and out from the ICU. It looks like my fav series "House", where few doctors will work as a team and brainstorm of what to do next. We then were called in a private room and were introduced to few people. One of them is Mark. He is the person who will be helping us and act as a middle person. I would say he is the PR of this situation. Then there's another doctor who explain us the situation again and what were their expectations. It was more on waiting game. They would like to see if Abah is responding today. And again the word of "not survived bang on our head".
The doctor advised us to expect the worst since Abah brain did not received enough oxygen and therefor the are high possibility of a brain damage. How bad it is, they can only tell by his responds later.



So we wait for miracles to happen. Nobody knows how hard was the feeling at time. We were crying high and low. Dont know what to do. We are a strangers in a foreign land. No familiar faces, no friends to talk to and no family to lend a shoulder.
It was tough. Ya Allah ya tuhanku, kuatnya dugaanmu ini.

On Allah will, we received a visitor named Kak Aida or most people call her Ummi. She's a johorian who lived in Melbourne for more that 35 years. Her presence is like an angel to us. She brought few Malaysian and Singaporean to visit us and Abah in ICU. Totally strangers came and pray for Abah. The news spread and we received lots of Malaysian students and even sms praying for him.

As only two person allowed to be inside the room, we took turns to be with Abah. I still can remember the time I touch his hand, kiss his forehead and pray Ashadu allah ilahhai allah on his ears. Sayangnya abah...
I asked the nurse if he could listened me, she said they wouldnt know...but it helps if you could talk to him.

While reciting Yassin, I hold his hand gently and prayed that he could just moved his finger. But there s still no responds.

At times when I'm alone with him, I would talk to him how much I love him. How he is so special in my heart. I told him that he has been a great father and I could never asked for more. He gave me so much joy and happiness being the daughter of Rahime. I'm proud to have him as my father. and I love him so dearly... Deep inside my heart, I know I will loose him.

His life support is helping him well breathing. But he is in a coma state. And waiting is what we do. Sabar itu separuh daripada iman...

12 March 08

The doctor and nurses advice us to have a proper sleep at home and take a good rest. So we did. It was still a sleepless night but i did my zikir until i fall asleep. Suddenly, I heard a phone rang. My heart stopped when the caller told me "Ms Nazura, we would advise you to come over to the ICU. Your father's situation is not good". Me and my mom rushed over to the hospital. When we reached there, the doctor explained to us the situation. It seems that abah had another heart attack whereby without any sign the heart just stopped. The doctor said that its unfair to the body if they keep on doing the CPR and all other rescue procedures since he had gone through so much. So what they did was, they would let him go gradually without doing anything. If he recover, he would recover naturally without anymore drugs support and if he would go, then he would go naturally when the time comes.

I shook my head and tried to digest all the words that came from the doctor. It was hard. All of us cried. "Ya Allah, kuatkanlah semangat kami untuk mengharungi dugaanmu ini".

So we started calling family and friends updating the situation. It was the hardest phone call I ever make to all my aunties, uncles and Abah's friends. A lot of people broke down hoping to see him for the last time.

Kepadanya kita datang dan kepadanya kita dikembalikan.

Around 7:45pm (Melbourne time), Allah datang menjemput Abah dan dia menyambutnya dengan penuh ketenangan. Kami dengan redha menerima ketentuan Allah ini. Muka Arwah Abah bersih dan berseri-seri...takkan kami lupa wajah itu sehingga akhir hayat kami.

Damailah Abah disana...Satu hari nanti, jika diizikan Allah, kita pasti akan bersua jua.

Our last journey-Part 1



Sometimes when I'm all alone, I always had this flashback memories on how our last journey with arwah. Thinking of how excited he was when I said I bought a ticket to Sydney during last MAS Travel Fair. I didnt asked him much like when you want to go etc etc, cause all that I know he wants to go travelling. He always said that when he travels, he feels much alive and he will feel better. When I was small and before I got married, I used to travel with my parents all the time. They would tag me along for their backpack trip to anywhere in the world. After few years of not travelling with my parents, I thought hey why not we go all together for a vacation. So Australia is the country or I must said Allah choose for us. The trip was from KLIA-Sydney-Melbourne-KLIA.This trip was Arwah Abah's second trip while it was our first.


I remember almost everyday, Arwah would asked me "Yan, bila kita nak pegi ni yan?Abah tak sabar nak jalan ngan e-am.." He would browse the internet all day long searching for place to stay, where to go etc etc. So everything set and on 4 March 08, we off to Sydney. And I guess on that day, was the last day he leaves our house in Taman Melawati with his last solat Mussafir. My mother recall on his doa, he pray that Allah take care of his house, harta and family. The final word of the doa was "Aku bermussafir untuk melihat kebesaranmu, Ya Allah".


We spend 4 days in Sydney and stayed in Oaks Apartment, Darling Habour. It was a good location, nice 2 rooms apartment attached with a kitchen and with a good view of Sydney city centre. It was the fanciest place I ever stayed with my parents since all this while we would go backpack and find the cheapest hotel to stay or safe cost by sleeping in a train.(owh, those are my best memories)


Me and Pojee were quite occupied entertaining E-am. We brought him to Sydney Aquarium and Wildlife. Arwah didnt want to followed us but he took his sweet time with my mom to the market. All we knew was, the food was ready when we were back. From kari ikan, sambal ikan, nasi goreng,meehoon goreng to semua yang boleh, arwah masakkan. It was more to rest and relax holiday. This seldom happened as I remembered Arwah Abah would drag me to all sorts of museum and art galleries.



From Sydney, we planned to visit my cousin in Melbourne. My cousin, Fadhli just got married last December with Ayu whom is a medic student there. I gave few options on how would we travelled there. Either by plane which is faster, or by train or by car, slower but you can enjoy the scenery. Abah obviously choose by land. We normally travelled by train but since Pojee enjoy driving so we decided to rent a car. There are two ways of driving to Melbourne. One is by Hume highway, which is faster or the princess highway(pacific ocean) which is slower but you can enjoy the pacific ocean view along the way. Me and my mom was keen on hume highway so we could reach Melbourne faster and spend more time there but on the other hand Arwah Abah and Pojee decide to use princess highway to view the scenery. Without much argument, we followed suit.


It was a longg way. We travelled for 1100km.It took us 2 days to reach Melbourne with a lot of stops and we slept in a Motel in Canns River. The view was Masyallah, so beautifull. Arwah Abah keep on praising Allahu Akbar when he saw how blue was the sky and how beautiful the scenery was.


Once we arrived Melbourne, we straight away went to the Art and Craft Market in St Kilda. Arwah Abah bought a ceramic plate for the house. I had a tough time controlling E-am excitement at that time. We then had our dinner in my cousins house in Brunswick.

On 10 March 08(Monday), we saw on the TV there was a parade in the city. We packed and straight away went there. It was extremely hot on that day. It was 42 celcius.
Arwah didnt complained much except for the hot weather. E-am was all excited to watch the parade. Not knowing this would be our last photo, we took a photo in Melbourne Bridge.



After few hours there, we went back and drop by at Coles to buy some groceries. Arwah Abah bought fish and chicken. I on the other hand got all excited when I saw so many good stuff in K mart. Arwah Abah, Fadhli and Ayu went back home first to prepare the meal. Arwah Abah last sms to me was "U all kat mana?". After had my last minute shopping(since we re leaving tomorrow), we all rushed back home to eat. When we reached home, we saw him relaxing near the couch with Fadhli while watching TV. On the table was Chicken Curry. Yummy! Abah's chicken curry never fails me. Apparently, it was the last meal he cooked for us.


We were all starving and start eating his curry . The last word that I heard from his was "Abah nak pegi semayang jap". A minute after that we all heard the loud sound. It was Arwah Abah lying down.

Allahu Akbar, selamatkanlah hambamu ini...kasihanilah dia...

to be continued...

**Please excuse my improper grammar/spelling. This story was written without any editing before its been published.

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Segalanya aku adalah dirimu

Jika kau matahari
Akulah cahayanya
Jika kau bulan
Akulah sinar samarnya
Jika kau air
Akulah ombaknya
Jika aku awan
Kaulah angin yang menolaknya

Melihatmu adalah melihatku
Senyumanmu adalah senyumanku
Rupa dan jiwamu adalah aku
Segalanya aku adalah dirimu

Abah, doakanlah
agar aku jadi pohon yang berguna
Kalau berbuah yang enak, maka makanlah
Jika aku jadi pohon bunga yang indah dan harum bunga itu
Hiaslah dihatimu,
dan ciumlah bunga itu,
Jika aku jadi pohon yang rendang,
berteduhlah disitu.

nukilan,
Nazura Rahime
April 2000

***this poem was transferred to a digital poetry and was presented in E-Poetry Festival, Buffalo, New York in year 2001. During at that time, I was presenting my final year project in front of huge crowd and received a thunderous applause by the audience. My father was the main person who believes me with this new idea at that time. We spend a lot of time talking and having crits along the making of this project. I remember when the project was completed, he was so proud that he would watch over and over again in front of his pc. He even called his close friends to view it. Eventhough I got a C for this work, the feeling of making him proud was all worth it.

will keep on posting the digital artwork.

My life is put on hold

Yes, my life is put on hold. I'm just here in one static points.I can only dream of the past and imagine the future. All memories keep on flashing through my mind. Its like a flash card, full of scattered visual of my late father. It's tough to overcome the feeling of loosing HIM. At times, I'm glad that all his pain and suffer is finally ended and at times I just wish he could just live another 20 years. I miss my Abah. I miss him so dearly. I miss his smile, his laughter, his silly jokes and most of all missing a part of me. Abah, segalanya aku adalah dirimu. My life is just not complete without him.

*how can i restart again my life?

Champion of the arts-The Star, 23 March 2008


Rahime Harun 1954-2008

Champion of the arts
By OOI KOK CHUEN
starmag-feedback@thestar.com.my


Around 1993, I asked Rahime Harun in jest when he was getting his gleaming new Mercs. He laughed off the suggestion, preferring to plough his money back into Malaysian art, which he boasted was one of the finest.

At the time, he had just acquired a three-storey building for his art gallery and promotion business in Taman Melawati, Kuala Lumpur, and already owned the AP Gallery outlet at Central Market in KL.

Rahime, art entrepreneur extraordinaire, art administrator, printmaker-artist, and writer, died suddenly of a heart attack while in Melbourne on March 11, leaving behind wife Zarina Ariffin and daughter Nazura Zahian.

At the height of the 1985 recession which blighted several art galleries in KL, Rahime was smart enough to switch to more saleable smaller works and prints, his core money-spinner.

At that time, sculptors Raja Shahriman Raja Azzidin and Mad Annuar Ismail, printmaker Juhari Muhammad Said, and a loose group of newly graduated artists from the then Mara Institute of Technology (ITM) who called themselves Matahati had burst onto the scene, startling even stalwarts like Datuk Syed Ahmad Jamal (then National Art Gallery director), who was more used to the halus (fine) Malay sensibilities.

Matahati’s Bayu Utomo Radjikin, Ahmad Shukri Mohd, Ahmad Fuad Osman, Masnoor Ramli Mahmud and Hamir Soib (and original member and photographer Soraya Talismail) are now big names, and it’s no coincidence that the Matahati group is currently having unprecedented simultaneous exhibitions at four venues, including the main one at Galeri Petronas.

Rahime was one of the main patrons of this group, and continued picking up choice works to ensure an unbroken story of their career paths.

Also, through prints of these works, and those of many other college-trained artists. he advocated a greater appreciation of Malaysian art and its display in public and private spaces of various buildings.

In an interview with him in 1995, he confided his formula for collecting art: U (Unique) + A2 (Aesthetics and Assimilation) = Value.

It is his largesse of significant cultural assets, for that is what his art collection is, that should find a proper home, especially as they are still on loan to Malacca museums.

Some of these works were displayed in the eye-opening two-parter, In Pursuit of A Dream at Galeri Petronas, then at Dayabumi, in 1995.

Penang-born Rahime (he had a twin brother who died a few years ago) started as an acting curator at the National Art Gallery before he quit in 1983 after nearly eight years to set up his business called AP (simply Art Promoters) with his first outlet at the Kuala Lumpur Hilton, then at Jalan Sultan Ismail.

A graduate in Industrial Design from ITM (1972-76), he had also worked as designer at Kraftangan Malaysia and a display executive at Metrojaya.

He was also an important figure in the Anak Alam interdisciplinary arts commune dominated by Mustapha Ibrahim and Abdul Latiff Mohidin, with live-in artists like K. Thangarajoo.

His passion is matched by a determination to improve himself in related fields to serve art better. In 1984, he got a scholarship to do a Diploma in Entrepreneurship Development (Art Business) in Turin, Italy, and in 1995, he was back at UiTM (as ITM is now called) for his Master of Art and Design Education in tandem with Britain’s Montfort University.

He also became more involved as an artist in his own right, mainly as a printmaker, and has taken part in at least two dozen group exhibitions.

As director of the Shah Alam Art Gallery from 1997 to 2001, he organised several important thematic exhibitions but despite all his accomplilshments, he had a persistent and underlying desire to return to the National Art Gallery, especially now that he was greatly fortified with greater expertise and experience.

Return he did, as the gallery’s director in 2005, but health reasons forced him to quit even before the year was out and before he could implement his five-year plan.

Many may still see Rahime as a highly competent art business entrepreneur and administrator. But it is the work he did which had no labels, such as organising arts orientation tours for ministry top brass, pushing his ideas in policy groups and other forums like the Arts Council, that characterises him best.

He was always trying to reinvent the work and thinking module, working well behind the scenes, never mind that others were not on the same wavelength or had the same dream.

Rahime Harun’s death is the loss of a passionate champion of Malaysian culture.

Friday, March 21, 2008

Mak Chak : Yan, banyakkan doa untuk Abah ye
Yan : Ya, Mak Chak
Mak Chak : Doa seorang anak akan sampai terus pada arwah. Kira macam ekspres laa...
Yan : ........

*Mak Chak : panggilan nama untuk Mak Long bagi keluarga kami

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Beliau yang bernama Rahime-Utusan Malaysia, 20 Mac 2008

Beliau yang bernama Rahime
Bersama Azman IsmaIl (adik1102@yahoo.com)

“LAKSANA ombak yang melaju ke pantai berpasir. Minit demi minit bergerak menuju kehancuran. Semuanya bertukar tempat dengan pendahulu,” tulis dramatis agung, William Shakespeare.

Bagi Shakespeare, manusia di muka bumi adalah sebahagian daripada sebuah proses perjalanan waktu yang kesemuanya akan berakhir dengan kematian. Oleh itu, dunia hanyalah sebuah pentas opera dan makhluk-makhluknya merupakan para pelakon.

Proses perjalanan waktu meletakkan manusia dalam satu kemustahilan. Sebagaimana ungkapan Shakespeare, kita tidak mungkin membalik waktu yang tidak hanya berlaku untuk makhluk-makhluk hidup.

Bukan hanya manusia, tapi bintang-bintang dan galaksi juga dilahirkan dan mengalami kematian - sebuah titik akhir kepada sistem jagat raya.

Proses kehidupan dan kematian berlaku untuk semua aspek tapi bukan hanya dalam makna yang negatif. Berdampingan dengan kematian, hadirlah kehidupan, dan kewujudan sistem antara titik permulaan dan akhir tersebut.

Tanpa kematian, kehidupan itu sendiri tidak mungkin wujud. Kita dari alam dan akan kembali ke alam. Manusia memahami bahawa sebagai makhluk mereka akan menemui kematian di hujung waktu kehidupan yang mereka tempuh.

Para pemikir Greek kuno seperti Heraclitus (pengasas aliran dilektik) mengemukakan pandangan bahawa sesuatu tidak akan hadir tanpa kehadiran yang lain.

Kedua-dua elemen tersebut saling menentukan, saling membatasi dan saling mendefinisikan. Ini kerana ruang dan waktu adalah kesatuan daripada unsur-unsur yang paling asas, manakala manusia adalah kayu ukurnya.

“Mustahil kita menciptakan atau memusnahkan perjalanan antara dua titik awal dan akhir. Sama seperti waktu, yang tidak dapat dimulai dan tidak dapat dihentikan; kerana tidak mungkin ada ‘sebelum’ dan ‘sesudah’,” tulis Aristotles.

Pelukis dan Bekas Ketua Pengarah Balai Seni Lukis Negara (BSLN), Rahime Harun adalah sebahagian proses perubahan waktu dan perjalanan antara titik mula dan titik akhir tersebut.

Pada 12 Mac lalu Allahyarham kembali ke Rahmatullah di Melbourne Hospital, Melbourne, Australia kerana serangan jantung, sesuatu yang sememangnya tidak pernah diduga oleh kita.

Namun, perjalanan awal dan akhir adalah realiti yang tidak boleh ditolak oleh sesiapa pun dan proses itu akan terus berlangsung tanpa henti walaupun sedetik (meminjam pendapat Aristotles).

Sebagai seorang pelukis dan printmaker, Rahime memberi sumbangan besar dalam kembaranya antara dua titik tersebut. Beliau pernah mengambil bahagian dalam lebih dari 30 buah pameran di tanah air dan luar negara.

Ia bermula sejak Pameran Seni & Reka di Shah Alam pada tahun 1976 dan Anak Alam pada tahun 1983. Sejak itu Allahyarham tidak menoleh ke belakang lagi. Pengembaraan seninya melangkah hingga ke Bangkok, Seoul, Hanoi, Jogjakarta, Mexico dan London.

Sementara

Namun, seperti ungkapan Micheal Foucault dalam tulisannya pada 1966, manusia hanyalah penemuan sementara dan akan musnah seperti wajah yang dilukiskan pada permukaan pasir.

Sama seperti makhluk-makhluk lain, Rahime juga merupakan sebahagian daripada kesementaraan tersebut atau oleh Aristotles disebut sebagai mencapai titik akhir daripada perubahan waktu.

Kesementaraan itu ditafsirkan oleh Immanuel Kant sebagai hakikat fenomena hakikat waktu dan ruang yang saling melengkapi atau turut dikenali sebagai gejala realiti.

Dalam bukunya The Critique of Pure Reason, Kant melontarkan pendapat bahawa ruang dan waktu adalah sebuah sistem yang melengkapi titik permulaan dan titik akhir kepada kehidupan makhluk di muka bumi.

Bagi Kant, proses perjalanan antara dua titik tersebut (berasaskan kepada pemikiran logik dan kebenaran empiris) penuh dengan unsur-unsur kontradiksi - sesuatu yang dikupas dengan lengkap oleh Frederich Hegel dalam bukunya The Science of Logic.

Perjalanan Allahyarham Rahime antara kedua-dua titik tersebut adalah sebuah pertembungan kontradiksi- kontradiksi tersebut. Empirisisme dan pemikirannya berjaya melahirkan sesuatu yang sangat berharga kepada dunia seni tanah air.

Memang, kehilangan seorang pelukis di negara mana pun tidak pernah mendapat penghormatan kenegaraan. Tidak akan ada kibaran bendera separuh tiang atau tembakan meriam.

Setidak-tidaknya, Allahyarham meninggalkan legasi seni yang besar dan layak dikenang oleh seluruh rakyat negara ini. Namun, seni tidak pernah berada di kedudukan paling tinggi dalam sesebuah negara bangsa.

Mungkin metafora dalam sebaris baris puisi penyair legenda Britain, Alexander Pope, Elegy to the Memory of an Unfortunate Lady (1717) cukup menarik untuk melihat perjalanan Allahyarham;

Alam dan seluruh hukumnya tersembunyi di kegelapan.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Alhamdullilah, Arwah Abah is back home



Assalamualaikum,

Pada 18 Mac 2008, jam 11 pagi, jenazah Hj Rahime Harun telah selamat disemadikan di Tanah Perkuburan Klang Gate, Ulu Klang. Alhamdullilah, dengan keizinan Allah segala proses telah berjalan dengan lancar.

Terharu, sedih, lega dapat kurasai di lubuk hati apabila melihat ramai yang datang untuk memberikan penghormatan terakhir buat Arwah. Pelbagai golongan hadir di kalangan pelukis, penyajak, art collector, pelakon, penyanyi, pengajar, pelajar, saudara mara dan teman teman rapat usah dikata, sememangnya sentiasa ada di sini selama 7 hari. Tak terucap kata terima kasih, hanya doa kami mengiringi agar Allah merahmati kehidupan kalian.

Malam semalam, terasa Abah mengucupi pipiku sewaktu aku tidur. Teringat sewaktu aku kecil, bila Abah pulang lewat dia akan masuk ke bilik ku dan membetulkan selimutku dan mengucupi pipiku. Aku sememangnya sedar tapi pura-pura tidur, malu.

credit photo by http://blog.zulkhas.com

Monday, March 17, 2008

Bekas Ketua Pengarah Balai Seni Lukis Negara meninggal - Berita Harian, 17 Mac 2008

Some write up on my late father, Haji Rahime Harun.

KUALA LUMPUR: Bekas Ketua Pengarah Balai Seni Lukis Negara (BSLN), Rahime Harun, (gambar) 54, meninggal dunia di Melbourne, Australia, Rabu lalu selepas diserang sakit jantung sewaktu sedang bercuti bersama isteri, anak, menantu dan cucunya.

Anak perempuannya, Nazura Zahian, 29, berkata bapanya diserang sakit jantung sehari sebelum mereka sepatutnya pulang dan akibat serangan itu mereka sekeluarga membawa beliau ke Royal Melbourne Hospital untuk mendapatkan rawatan.

"Bapa ditempatkan selama dua hari di Unit Rawatan Rapi sebelum menghembuskan nafas terakhirnya pada jam 7.25 petang waktu Melbourne," katanya sewaktu dihubungi di sini, semalam.

Jenazah Rahime yang sudah dimandi dan dikafankan dan kini ditempatkan di Masjid Preston, dijangka tiba di Lapangan Terbang Antarabangsa Kuala Lumpur (KLIA) jam 5.30 pagi Rabu ini untuk dikebumikan di Tanah Perkuburan Islam Klang Gate, di sini sebelum zuhur

Nazura Zahian berkata, bagaimanapun pihaknya dan sepupunya, Fadhli Rahim, anak kepada kembar Rahime, Rahim Harun, yang juga meninggal dunia kerana penyakit sama dan tinggal di sana sedang berurusan dengan beberapa pihak di Melbourne supaya jenazah dapat tiba lebih awal iaitu Selasa ini.

Rahime meninggalkan seorang balu, Zarina Ariffin; Nazura Zahian; menantu Mohd Fauzi Nasir dan cucu, Ilham Fannani, 2 setengah tahun.

Nazura Zahian berkata, arwah bapanya tidak menunjukkan sebarang tanda sebelum ini walaupun sebelum berangkat ke Makkah untuk menunaikan Haji pada musim lalu beliau diserang angin ahmar ringan.

"Bapa nampak gembira sewaktu di Melbourne dan sebelum diserang sakit jantung beliau sempat memasak kari ayam untuk kami sekeluarga yang pada waktu itu berada di rumah Fadhli kerana bapa memang suka memasak.

"Pada sebelah petang ketika hendak menunaikan sembahyang Asar beliau diserang sakit jantung menyebabkan kami membawanya ke hospital dan saya bersyukur kerana pihak paramedik di sana cepat bertindak.

"Mak ada berkata, sewaktu beliau dan bapa sembahyang musafir sebelum berlepas ke Melbourne, dalam doanya bapa ada menyebut 'bahawa aku bermusafir untuk melihat kebesaranMu' dan sewaktu berjalan-jalan dan melihat pemandangan yang cantik di sana bapa banyak kali memuji keindahan alam ciptaan Tuhan," katanya yang pulang bersama keluarga kelmarin.

Katanya, mereka terpaksa pulang awal atas nasihat pihak Penerbangan Malaysia kerana pada masa ini sedang berlangsung perlumbaan Formula Satu di Melbourne, dan segala urusan membawa pulang jenazah dilakukan Fadhli.

Rahime yang sebelum bertugas di BSLN bertindak sebagai Pengarah di Galeri Shah Alam adalah antara seorang pengumpul yang cukup dikenali di kalangan komuniti pelukis di negara ini.

Beliau yang dilahirkan di Pulau Pinang dan mendapat pendidikan dalam bidang rekaan industri di Institut Teknologi Mara dan Sarjana Pendidikan Seni dan Rekaan di De Monfort University adalah penggerak pemasaran lukisan di negara ini.

Rahime banyak menyumbang kepada perkembangan seni tampak negara dan idea beliau memasarkan karya pelukis Malaysia ke hotel-hotel, pejabat kedutaan dan pelancong memberi nafas baru kepada pemasaran lukisan di negara yang ini yang sebelum ini agak malap.

Friday, March 14, 2008

Most beautiful memories

Just to share our most beautiful memories in the name of Allah.We make our journey together.Here it goes:

Before we left for Melbourne,Abah had his solat sunat Mussafir and in his doa he said:

Ya Allah ya tuhanku, Aku bermusafir kerana ingin melihat kebesaranmu, Ya Allah.

And along our journey he keep on praising AllahuAkbar when he saw the skies, the mountain, the landscape and the stars.

Hj Rahime Harun , a man who live his life to the fullest.