40 Days

How fast time flies... Today mark 40 days after Arwah Abah left us. I thought I was getting over it quite well but today it just feel like saying goodbye for the second time to him. It feels the same as the first farewell that we had 40 days back in Melbourne.
I had tears all over me which I don't know why. Strange. I thought. since almost everyday I recite yassin and tahlil in front of his grave but it's exceptional for today. While reciting zikir Allahuakbar with my eyes shut, my tears falls. Today, the roof that have been protecting the grave was moved to the other as if it symbolized that he is ready to rest in peace. As what I understand from some hadis saying that in the period of 40 days, the soul will come and visit his love ones. To see wether are they praying for them and to bid the final farewell. Deep inside me, I know Arwah Abah did come and visit us. I can feel it and even had dreamt on him. I dreamt meeting him and asking him how is he. And with a gleaming smile he said that he's ok. I recall that in that dream he looks younger.
Today we did a Tahlil at the house. Alhamdullilah, almost 100 people came with doa for Arwah. I did a surprised gift for all Arwah Abah's siblings by giving them a photo journal that captured their memories from Abah's childhood days, his college years, family years, umrah and haji trips, the day that I got married, the day he had his first grandchild and the last journey that we had in Melbourne. Many of them had tears in their eyes. I had a tough time designing the journal as it took me days to finish it. Each page was design with tears and flashback memories. It s a very personal work of art.

As the days goes by, I wish I can move forward with my journey of life. But I shall not forget my dear Abah. I hope all my prayers will be his companion in his journey to meet Allah SWT.