Mama

My love for her is beyond words. I could not find the right words to express my feelings for her. I guess that s why it took me so long a write about her.

She who i call mama, is the queen of my heart. Her love, strength and kindness that keep me being what I am. Being the only daughter and the only child left me with a greater responsibility. I know I am built to be that person for what I ve been trained for the passed 29 years and still learning. My mama is my pillar of strenght, only allah knows what I do without her...
in celebrating my love for her i decide to write about my mama. Zarina ariffin was born on 21 nov 1955 at Kota Bahru,Kelantan. I would consider her garang during my childhood years. Hey she's a scorpion, what do you expect? My mother was trained as a jewellery designer in Fine Metal, School of Art and Design, ITM (now known as UITM). That's where she met my Abah. My abah was a senior by 1 year on a different major. He was then in industrial design of the same school. I recall abah one day told me that he could still remember how sweet n petite was my mom on her first orientation week. I guess the courtship happens after that and once they graduated,they got married on December 1977. On 14 march 1979 I was born. According to mama, giving birth to me was really hard. I was born more than 9 months, kata org melayu lebih bulan. No wonder I was always over weight, over fed and overjoy.keh keh keh...

My mama broad me up with love and courage to be independent. Even though, I am the only child but I was never been pampered like what people thought. Mama would rotan me if I woke up late and if I escaped doing the house chores. At that time, we do have a maid but Mama remind me that never treat her like a maid. Mama said "You should be helping her just like your sister". My family lives in a moderate life. Since I was small, Mama taught me on how hard to earn money. She said you need to work for it. For instance, she would put a budget for my cloths say RM20 and if I want to have a cloth at RM30, I need to top up myself. So with that, I need to work. I ve done all sort of cleaning work in the workshop and I also take care of my parents shop in Central Market.

Since I was in primary school, I would share most of my stories with Mama. (Well, adalah yang PNC and tak boleh share) Mama remember all my friends since primary school until now. Mama knew who I admire and who I dislike. Mama will be my motivator, every time I feel down. I always thought that she has this extra instinct as a mother. Mana boleh tipu dia, sure dia tau. And if she said don't go then I better follow otherwise something bad might happen. Tak berkat orang kata kalau lawan cakap mak ni. It happens to me all time. I even let her know that I'm going to clubbing or going out with boys etc. So basicly, Mama knows almost everything. And for myself, I feel better talking to her. It ease my mind.

Mama have such a big heart. She always put other people first than her. Whoever who knew her, will agree with me. At times, I would argue why she s been so nice to people and as a result people take advantage of her. She said, 'Allah beri kita rezeki untuk dikongsi bersama yang lain'. So I rest my case.

Allah uji hambanya dengan pelbagai dugaan kerana hambanya ini mampu menanggung ujian itu.

Mama was diagnosed with Cancer on August 2007. It hit us and we were all in shocked. Abah was sad and I was clueless. ( i had my post on august 2007 on this issue). It took us awhile to gain our positive energy. It s been almost a year now, Mama had successfully complete her 6 session chemo, did her hajj this year with Arwah Abah, complete her oxygen therapy and have been traveling like she used to. Cancer is a disease but it s a life changing process for us. It change our view of life. Everyday, I pray that Allah panjangkan umur Mama, sembuhkan penyakitnya serta kuatkan semangat Mama untuk menghadapi dugaan yang mendatang.

For this I conclude this entry with this song...

Kau begitu sempurna
Di mataku kau begitu indah
Kau membuat diriku akan selalu memujamu

Di setiap langkahku ku kan
selalu memikirkan dirimu
Tak bisa ku bayangkan
Hidupku tanpa cintamu

Bridge:
Janganlah kau tinggalkan diriku
tak kan mampu menghadapi semua
Hanya bersamamu ku akan bisa

Coda:
Kau adalah darahku
Kau adalah jantungku
Kau adalah hidup ku lengkapi diriku oh sayang engkau begitu sempurna .. sempurna

Kau genggam tanganku saat diriku lemah dan terjatuhk au bisikkan dan hapus semua sesalku

Reff:
Kau adalah darahku
Kau adalah jantungku
Kau adalah hidup ku lengkapi diriku oh sayang engkau begitu sempurna .. sempurna
Sayangku engkau begitu sempurna.. sempurna.. sempurna..

I love you Mama.