She's finally here! My Kasih Salsabila

On 19 June 09 at 925am, Kasih Salsabila was born. Syukur, alhamdullilah di atas anugerah yang terindah ini. A healthy baby girl weight 3kg, length at 51 cm.

View her first video clip:

shot and edited by her proud dad

Counting Days : 4 days

Just got back from my last check up.

Baby is still breech. I ll admit on thursday after midnight. According to the doctor, my c sec will be on 830am on Friday. Gosh, though this is my second experience, I m still nervous. I guess it goes the same to all moms kan? eventhough its your second or third or forth time experience. The 'debaran' is still the same. Pheww...

I'm taking half day work starting from today (shishh, got interview session at 3pm today). So I guess starts from tomorrow then... Need to get a good rest and stress free mode from now on.

Counting Days: 10 Days

Baby is still breech.

I am really exhausted. Yesterday went to shop for E am stuff in Jaya Jusco, fell like fainted. I was sweating like mad and my body is so tired. Waiting for E am to finish his sushi feels like forever. I almost fell asleep in Subway while having our take out sandwiches. Ya Allah, kuatkan lah semangat hambamu ini...I ve not been sleeping well for the past few days. I probably slept for 4 hours. My trips to loo increased. Major reason that I can t have my sleep is the short of breath, heartburn at times. Senak. Baby's head is still below my rib cage (ouch, yes it still hurts). I ve been yawning, my eyes n my head seems so heavy. Last night, I woke up 4 times and for me to continue sleeping is such a big effort. Lucky my zikir and alfatihah helps me to feel at ease.

Yesterday was my check up. Bp good. urine good. baby good. now weight at 2.8kg.

Let s hope that my new bundle of joy will be in my arms in another 10 days.


“ Tuhanku berilah kepadaku ( seorang anak) dari anak-anak yang soleh”

35 weeks

Mengah. Short of breath. Uncomfortable.

Thats summarize what I m goin thru for the past 2 weeks and I believe in another 2 or 3 weeks more. Phewww...penatnyaa...
At this point of time, I just can t wait to deliver my baby. Just got back from my medical check ups. Baby now weight at 2.7kg(E am's weight when I deliver him at 36w, 4 years ago). I am now in my 35 weeks. Baby tummy is breech. Her head is just below my rib cage (ouchh!) and her legs is pushing down my bladder ( Arghh!). So it explain why my trip to the restroom is endless and the short of breath. At times I feel like somebody is stabbing me just below my rib cage. Huwaaa...sakit woo...

So for now, we are looking at giving birth on the 38w with a plan caesarean. Insyallah...19 days to go.

I am preparing myself for the new arrival and also leaving all the office works. Hopefully, everything is ok...amin...

My first art collection - The last stand in Tanah Merah(Rainbow Warriors Series)

So this is how it feels when you purchase an artwork using your own hard-earned money. WOW, it feels great. Now I understand why Arwah Abah always have this crave for art. First saw this artwork on the facebook put up by the artist, Rafiee Ghani (called him as Cik Rafiee). I wrote a comment 'the brilliant colour and the contrast portrays the urge for a freedom. I get the feeling of I want to break free. love this one A LOT!'. Later, this artwork keep on lingering on my mind for few days. Pheww..such a great impact. We correspond few messages on the facebook and walaa the next thing I know Cik Rafiee was in my office with that painting. I was hypnotized and signed the cheque (Hahahah..nolah, I was totally aware of what I m doin).
When I saw that painting for real, my heart was jumping up and down. Felt like crying and screaming all at the same time. Arwah Abah have few of Rafiee Ghani's artwork but hey thats his. I find this piece is different from what Rafiee Ghani have produced before. It gives this sentimental yet powerful impact to me. I asked the artist, What were you thinking when you painted this piece? He said the boy is his son, Hasan aged 6. He was reflecting his son on facing the real world- the challenge ahead. Yes, I felt that too and its obviously remind me of my Ilham.

So this is me, aged 30 owning my first art collection from Rafiee Ghani whom I know since I was 6.

It gives me the pleasure for my eyes and soul-Happy Mother s Day.

Ilhamku selamanya...

L.O.V.E

What's life living without love?

What a great day to start!

I dreamed a dream in time gone by
When hope was high and life worth living
I dreamed that love would never die
I dreamed that God would be forgiving

Les Miserables I Dreamed a Dream Lyrics

Almost everyone have this thing call Monday blues. I definitely skip mine today after watching this video which was shared by sity in her facebook.

It s just a great feeling watching this video. She moves people heart and inspire so many people around the world. There s a lot of things that we can learn after watching this video. I like to highlight some points :

The moment we are born, we each have in our possession the most amazing gift! It is the gift of pure untapped potential, unique and different for each of us.-Steve Brunkhorst-

Yes, I believe in this. It takes a courage to develop the potential within us. And the ability to push our limit to the level best. What Susan Boyle prove to us is her COURAGE in pursuing her dreams. No matter what people think of her, she just smile and go on with it. We need to believe in ourselves, then people will starts believing. Looking at Susan Boyle age and image, nobody in that hall would expect her to deliver an extraordinaire performance. She nail it on her first phrase of the song!

And then let us look at the audience of that performance. By just looking at that crowd, it certainly portray how actually people react for something different. Susan Boyle definitely do not have the package of being a singer in this decade. Look at the reaction or their face expression when Susan Boyle walk in and during the interviews by Simon. Those cynical smile and the sarcastic remarks will tear you apart. This shows how we (some of us) prejudge people without looking at the inner self of a person.

There s so many aspect to analyze with this video. Just by watching this, It taught me a lot about having the courage to pursue my dreams, to believe the potential within me and not to be afraid of the challenges.

Maids

Maids oh maids. Pening jugak memikirkan hal ni. In this challenging world, how I wish I can just close my eyes on the house chores. I ll be in cloud nine for not thinking of laundry, those dirty dishes and pans in the sink and cleaning up my anak and abah bujang lepak place.

The question: Is having a maid will give you a peace of mind or more headache? or more like escapism.

Hmmm...semua pon betul rasanya.

I was broad up with 5 maids within 11 years of my childhood life. Back then, there no Indons working as maid. All are local people and mama paid around RM200-250 per month. I call them 'kakak'. The last kakak work with us for 6 years when I was 5 until 11. Having maids doesnt give me any chance of escapism. Mama wont let that happen. Thank god for that. I still need to do all the house chores like other kids. But at that time, I still manage to somehow escape la jugak. curik tulang beb...hehehe...Not until the last kakak who quit because she s getting married when I was 11. That s when everything change. At first Mama would cook before she leave to work. But later on,she probably tired of it and later I discover the art of cooking in the kitchen. Yeehaa! Belasah je, semua benda I tried, from tomyam to nasi goreng at the age of 11. Rasa toksah cakap laa,,,experimental cooking la katakan...hehehe

So from that time, I learn to be independent. It's been quite sometime, we live our life without any assistance until the year 1999 where my mom again hired a maid from Indon. Her name is Kak Sue. Mid 30s.Hard working and very good in cooking especially in western food. She works for almost a year. Everything looks good. The only mistake that Mama did was giving her the permission to go back to her hometown (not until her contract finish). It was the last time we saw her, balik kampung and never return.

Next, another indons. This one I dont even remember her name. Old lady, probably early 50s. Yang ni memang laa hampeh. Dahlaa takleh ckp, bongok pulak tu. I remember how arwah Abah showed her how to cut a watermelon nicely. Dia boleh hempas pisau dlm sink mcm tanda protes. It was hari raya open house. This is funny, she dress really nice and sat beside my mom all the way during the open house. Almost all the guest thought that she is my moms relatives. Everyone siap bersalam ngan dia. Yang kita ni punyaa laa berlemuih kat dapur. Next day, off you go.

Pastu ada sorang ni nama Ur. Early 20s. Bagus kerja tapi kasar. Semua style hempas2. Cakap pon garang jugak, kita pulak jadi takut ngan dia. Pastu dia ni suka tengok channel Arab( she use to work there). Tak kira laa sapa yang ada depan tv, she just simply change the tv channel to Al Jazeera. Last-last tak tahan, dia cau. Agaknya sebab kitowang tak bagi dia can nak tgk belly dance la kot.

Then another one. Yang ni scary jugak... E am was around 9 months. Masa memula amik dia ni, dah macam pelik bila tengok dia punya dressing. But I thought she probably sekali-sekala pakai camtu. Memang macam minah dangdut. Ok takpe...relax lagi. Next morning when I woke up I saw her in sleeveless body hugging with faded jeans and a bling bling belt. WTF??? Bertambah gugur laa rambut laki aku camni.isk isk. My mom asked her to change and she said all her cloth are like that. Makk aii...Then she also loves to bring E am jalan-jalan keluar rumah. OMG, can you imagine my little E am with minah dangdut. No no. Pastu ada skali tu, mama asked her tak semayang ke? She said she s not muslim, she a christian. Padahal laki dia islam. Uishh kalo taknak semayang, ckp jelah. Yang pegi ckp dia kristian tu nape. Isk isk. Then we also discover that she smoke in the house and later we discover that she was a GRO in Bali. Aduhhh..no way i can let this type of person in my house.

The last one was a young girl name Ika. Kerja boleh tahan. Bagus. Very young probably in 17. Tapi dia ni suka main telefon. Bergayut 24 jam. Sambil jaga E am, sambil tu jugak bergayut tepon. Then later, we start to lost some money. Mama's syilling from overseas worth thousands hilang. Arwah Abah punya duit RM50 note pon hilang few pieces. We finally caught her taking the money. Hmmm... off you go.

As you can see now, I have few bad experience. How come there s no longer good maids available for me. :(

Baik sangat pon tak bagus, Garang sangat pon tak bagus jugak.

Hmmm...so do I need a maid? Or I become the maid. huwaaa tamoo...

* just got this video from leila
maid kicks a child

we certainly dont want this to happen.

Me & myself

There s so many things I want to write that have been in my mind for the past few days. I just dont have the time to write. ahh.. ye la tuu kan... we loves to make excuses after excuses. Kalau facebook , ada pulak masa kan. You need to make time for the things you want to do. Otherwise, you'll stuck within your own time zone and making excuses becomes A HABIT.

Ok, enough of all that. Let's start pouring the juice...

Last week was a busy week for me. In my office, there's few main boards which is dedicated for 'shooting que' and 'delivery que'. Both boards are pack with scribbles here and there. Pheww...pening but at the same time I'm thankful to Allah for the rezeki.
I have 2 preview in the office and not to forget 3 datelines for delivery. It was endless dvd burning process. I always said this, how I wish its that easy burning my fats. hu hu hu. In the office, my task are more on QC, finalizing dvds and managements (grrr). Speaking of that, I had few 'amok' scene where I m so pissed with the attitude of certain people. In this case, my own staff. In Manggis, we encourage everyone to communicate with each other. There's no gap between your superior or senior and junior staff. We are a team. We are Manggisian. We ve been working in a friendly and knowledge sharing for the past 8 years. What really pissed me off is when a staff was given an assignment, then he just sits there acting like he knows what he do, and at the end of the day, everything is totally wrong. What makes me really mad was the attitude of 'bodoh sombong'. Tak mau bertanya lansung! Grrr...ok, enough bout office stuff. I dont want to make my life more tense.

More about my life. What can I say, I'm 7 months pregnant with a jumpy 3.5 old son and have been living my life without maid. I know there s a lot of working mothers who live this kind of life. In fact, with more kids. And I have to salute to all working moms who have the ability of multitasking being a working woman, wife, mother and daughter. Yes, salute to you and me! Having said that, how I wish our husband are more handy with house chores. I'm not complaining, really (am i ?) It really make my day if my other half would at least wash the dishes, buat susu or even throw the rubbish... without me asking for it. And without the word of 'kejap'. Haa, speaking of that, it seems that this word has been affected to E am as well. ' E am, jom washh!' he ll said 'kejap la, e am tgh main chu chu train nie...'E am jom sleep' he ll answered 'kejap a mummy, E am nak tgk tv niee...' Semua benda kejap. Sabar je lahh.. tu tak campur dengan Abahnya yang jugak sukaaa cakap kejap. I remember masa I was in my teenage years, kalau cakap 'kejap' or 'nanti' to Mama, memang siaplaaa kena pukul ngan apa2 objek yang ada kat tangan dia masa tu...huhuhuh..takoott oo...

Pregnancy for now, everything is under control. My BP so far is normal, compared to E am time where I have a hypertension. I ve gain 3 kg so far and the baby now weight approx 1kg. Baby tummy is growing accordingly, as what Dr Fauziah said. This baby tummy is very active, she 's been kicking up and down, left and right. My back is in pain and every time I stand up from a long sit, my tummy felt so heavy (not too sure wether its the baby or my fats). My body is in heat and toilet is my best buddy for the past 4 months. For now, I can t wait to see my baby tummy. The feeling of being pregnant is so obvious now. Once I deliver, then it s the new way of life and definitely another life changing for everyone in the family.

I still have few things to share, I ll write later when I have time. Yaa..more excuse nazura...

Till this keyboard meet the monitor again...time to burn dvd again.

Kedewasaan

"umur seiring terbitnya matahari, terbitnya rembulan, dan terbenamnya mentari serta terbenamnya rembulan, seiring bertambahnya usia hantarkan menuju puncak, tambah menambah adalah proses menuju kedewasaan, hingga hantarkan kita menuju perencanaan hidup"

Beautiful words from my dear friend in Bali, Pak Agung

21 weeks 5 days

I ve come half way of the whole pregnancy journey. Alhamdullilah, everything went on smoothly, so far. E-am named this unborn baby as Baby tummy ( due to his understanding from a book that I bought for him in preparing him to be a brother). Baby tummy starts kicking on my 16 weeks and it feels awesome. I don't remember E-am starts kicking as early as this. E-am movement was so much graceful compared to this one. Baby tummy moves actively and can move up and down, left and right. (It must be so much room inside my tummy,,,i need a tummy tuck,pls). Today I had a detail scan where the doctor will check most of the important organs and measure. Alhamdullilah, everything were checked and it was a complete baby tummy. Allahu akbar, how great you are.

And as most of everyone been asking, is it a boy or a girl? Hmm...no pistol been seen under there yet. 2 doctor been searching for it, but still no sign. So what does it says yeah? E-am time was really easy, by the forth month, we could already see his pistol ( it was obvious, really). So let us wait for another month, to see wether is there any pistol hiding down there. If no, then its time to go for a pinkish shopping spree. yeehaa!

Dialogue

E-am : Mummy, E-am tade fren?
Mummy : Nanti baby tummy kuar, e am kawan lah dengan dia k?
E-am : E am nak ketuk baby tummy nanti!
(haiyaa...habislaa adik dia nanti )

Mummy : Nanti baby tummy kuar E am nak bagi nama apa?
E-am : Upin, Mummy!

Dalam perjalanan ke nursery.
E-am : Mummy, nape sume kete laju?
Mummy : Err...
E-am : Dia nak gi bank kot ....

E-am : Abah, jangan la bawak kete laju-laju, nanti polis tangkap, masuk penjala( penjara)...
Abah : Muka moncong.

A picture worth a thousand words : Ilham & Indah

Hati Terbakar aka Heartburn

Currently I'm facing with this heartburn problem. Argh..it is so uncomfortable! Here I put up an article from Babycentre for any pregnand ladies who is facing this.

Many women experience heartburn for the first time during pregnancy — and though it's common and generally harmless, it can be quite uncomfortable.

Heartburn (also called acid indigestion or acid reflux) is a burning sensation that often extends from the bottom of the breastbone to the lower throat. It's caused by some of the hormonal and physical changes in your body.

During pregnancy, the placenta produces the hormone progesterone, which relaxes the smooth muscles of the uterus. This hormone also relaxes the valve that separates the esophagus from the stomach, allowing gastric acids to seep back up, which causes that unpleasant burning sensation.

Progesterone also slows down the wavelike contractions of your esophagus and intestines, making digestion sluggish. Later in pregnancy, your growing baby crowds your abdominal cavity, pushing the stomach acids back up into the esophagus.

Many women start experiencing heartburn and other gastrointestinal discomforts in the second half of pregnancy. Unfortunately, it usually comes and goes until your baby is born.
What can I do about it?

Though you may not be able to eliminate heartburn entirely, you can take steps to minimize your discomfort:

• Avoid food and beverages that cause you gastrointestinal distress. The usual suspects are carbonated drinks; alcohol (which you should avoid anyway during pregnancy); caffeine; chocolate; acidic foods like citrus fruits and juices, tomatoes, mustard, and vinegar; processed meats; mint products; and spicy, highly seasoned, fried, or fatty foods.

• Don't eat big meals. Instead, eat several small meals throughout the day. Take your time eating and chew thoroughly.

• Avoid drinking large quantities of fluids during meals — you don't want to distend your stomach. (It's important to drink eight to ten glasses of water daily during pregnancy, but sip it between meals.)

• Try chewing gum after eating. Chewing gum stimulates your salivary glands, and saliva can help neutralize acid.

• Don't eat close to bedtime. Give yourself two to three hours to digest before you lie down.

• Sleep propped up with several pillows or a wedge. Elevating your upper body will help keep your stomach acids where they belong and will aid your digestion.

• Gain a sensible amount of weight, and stay within the guidelines your healthcare provider suggests.

• Wear loose, comfortable clothing. Avoid any tightness around your waist and tummy.

• Bend at the knees instead of at the waist.

• Don't smoke — in addition to contributing to a host of serious health problems, smoking boosts stomach acidity. (Ideally, smoking is a habit you should break before getting pregnant. If you're still smoking and are having trouble quitting, ask your caregiver for a referral to a smoking-cessation program.)

• An over-the-counter antacid that contains magnesium or calcium may ease discomfort, but check with your prenatal caregiver before taking one, because some brands contain aluminum or aspirin or are high in sodium.