Sunday, March 23, 2008

My life is put on hold

Yes, my life is put on hold. I'm just here in one static points.I can only dream of the past and imagine the future. All memories keep on flashing through my mind. Its like a flash card, full of scattered visual of my late father. It's tough to overcome the feeling of loosing HIM. At times, I'm glad that all his pain and suffer is finally ended and at times I just wish he could just live another 20 years. I miss my Abah. I miss him so dearly. I miss his smile, his laughter, his silly jokes and most of all missing a part of me. Abah, segalanya aku adalah dirimu. My life is just not complete without him.

*how can i restart again my life?

Champion of the arts-The Star, 23 March 2008


Rahime Harun 1954-2008

Champion of the arts
By OOI KOK CHUEN
starmag-feedback@thestar.com.my


Around 1993, I asked Rahime Harun in jest when he was getting his gleaming new Mercs. He laughed off the suggestion, preferring to plough his money back into Malaysian art, which he boasted was one of the finest.

At the time, he had just acquired a three-storey building for his art gallery and promotion business in Taman Melawati, Kuala Lumpur, and already owned the AP Gallery outlet at Central Market in KL.

Rahime, art entrepreneur extraordinaire, art administrator, printmaker-artist, and writer, died suddenly of a heart attack while in Melbourne on March 11, leaving behind wife Zarina Ariffin and daughter Nazura Zahian.

At the height of the 1985 recession which blighted several art galleries in KL, Rahime was smart enough to switch to more saleable smaller works and prints, his core money-spinner.

At that time, sculptors Raja Shahriman Raja Azzidin and Mad Annuar Ismail, printmaker Juhari Muhammad Said, and a loose group of newly graduated artists from the then Mara Institute of Technology (ITM) who called themselves Matahati had burst onto the scene, startling even stalwarts like Datuk Syed Ahmad Jamal (then National Art Gallery director), who was more used to the halus (fine) Malay sensibilities.

Matahati’s Bayu Utomo Radjikin, Ahmad Shukri Mohd, Ahmad Fuad Osman, Masnoor Ramli Mahmud and Hamir Soib (and original member and photographer Soraya Talismail) are now big names, and it’s no coincidence that the Matahati group is currently having unprecedented simultaneous exhibitions at four venues, including the main one at Galeri Petronas.

Rahime was one of the main patrons of this group, and continued picking up choice works to ensure an unbroken story of their career paths.

Also, through prints of these works, and those of many other college-trained artists. he advocated a greater appreciation of Malaysian art and its display in public and private spaces of various buildings.

In an interview with him in 1995, he confided his formula for collecting art: U (Unique) + A2 (Aesthetics and Assimilation) = Value.

It is his largesse of significant cultural assets, for that is what his art collection is, that should find a proper home, especially as they are still on loan to Malacca museums.

Some of these works were displayed in the eye-opening two-parter, In Pursuit of A Dream at Galeri Petronas, then at Dayabumi, in 1995.

Penang-born Rahime (he had a twin brother who died a few years ago) started as an acting curator at the National Art Gallery before he quit in 1983 after nearly eight years to set up his business called AP (simply Art Promoters) with his first outlet at the Kuala Lumpur Hilton, then at Jalan Sultan Ismail.

A graduate in Industrial Design from ITM (1972-76), he had also worked as designer at Kraftangan Malaysia and a display executive at Metrojaya.

He was also an important figure in the Anak Alam interdisciplinary arts commune dominated by Mustapha Ibrahim and Abdul Latiff Mohidin, with live-in artists like K. Thangarajoo.

His passion is matched by a determination to improve himself in related fields to serve art better. In 1984, he got a scholarship to do a Diploma in Entrepreneurship Development (Art Business) in Turin, Italy, and in 1995, he was back at UiTM (as ITM is now called) for his Master of Art and Design Education in tandem with Britain’s Montfort University.

He also became more involved as an artist in his own right, mainly as a printmaker, and has taken part in at least two dozen group exhibitions.

As director of the Shah Alam Art Gallery from 1997 to 2001, he organised several important thematic exhibitions but despite all his accomplilshments, he had a persistent and underlying desire to return to the National Art Gallery, especially now that he was greatly fortified with greater expertise and experience.

Return he did, as the gallery’s director in 2005, but health reasons forced him to quit even before the year was out and before he could implement his five-year plan.

Many may still see Rahime as a highly competent art business entrepreneur and administrator. But it is the work he did which had no labels, such as organising arts orientation tours for ministry top brass, pushing his ideas in policy groups and other forums like the Arts Council, that characterises him best.

He was always trying to reinvent the work and thinking module, working well behind the scenes, never mind that others were not on the same wavelength or had the same dream.

Rahime Harun’s death is the loss of a passionate champion of Malaysian culture.

Friday, March 21, 2008

Mak Chak : Yan, banyakkan doa untuk Abah ye
Yan : Ya, Mak Chak
Mak Chak : Doa seorang anak akan sampai terus pada arwah. Kira macam ekspres laa...
Yan : ........

*Mak Chak : panggilan nama untuk Mak Long bagi keluarga kami

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Beliau yang bernama Rahime-Utusan Malaysia, 20 Mac 2008

Beliau yang bernama Rahime
Bersama Azman IsmaIl (adik1102@yahoo.com)

“LAKSANA ombak yang melaju ke pantai berpasir. Minit demi minit bergerak menuju kehancuran. Semuanya bertukar tempat dengan pendahulu,” tulis dramatis agung, William Shakespeare.

Bagi Shakespeare, manusia di muka bumi adalah sebahagian daripada sebuah proses perjalanan waktu yang kesemuanya akan berakhir dengan kematian. Oleh itu, dunia hanyalah sebuah pentas opera dan makhluk-makhluknya merupakan para pelakon.

Proses perjalanan waktu meletakkan manusia dalam satu kemustahilan. Sebagaimana ungkapan Shakespeare, kita tidak mungkin membalik waktu yang tidak hanya berlaku untuk makhluk-makhluk hidup.

Bukan hanya manusia, tapi bintang-bintang dan galaksi juga dilahirkan dan mengalami kematian - sebuah titik akhir kepada sistem jagat raya.

Proses kehidupan dan kematian berlaku untuk semua aspek tapi bukan hanya dalam makna yang negatif. Berdampingan dengan kematian, hadirlah kehidupan, dan kewujudan sistem antara titik permulaan dan akhir tersebut.

Tanpa kematian, kehidupan itu sendiri tidak mungkin wujud. Kita dari alam dan akan kembali ke alam. Manusia memahami bahawa sebagai makhluk mereka akan menemui kematian di hujung waktu kehidupan yang mereka tempuh.

Para pemikir Greek kuno seperti Heraclitus (pengasas aliran dilektik) mengemukakan pandangan bahawa sesuatu tidak akan hadir tanpa kehadiran yang lain.

Kedua-dua elemen tersebut saling menentukan, saling membatasi dan saling mendefinisikan. Ini kerana ruang dan waktu adalah kesatuan daripada unsur-unsur yang paling asas, manakala manusia adalah kayu ukurnya.

“Mustahil kita menciptakan atau memusnahkan perjalanan antara dua titik awal dan akhir. Sama seperti waktu, yang tidak dapat dimulai dan tidak dapat dihentikan; kerana tidak mungkin ada ‘sebelum’ dan ‘sesudah’,” tulis Aristotles.

Pelukis dan Bekas Ketua Pengarah Balai Seni Lukis Negara (BSLN), Rahime Harun adalah sebahagian proses perubahan waktu dan perjalanan antara titik mula dan titik akhir tersebut.

Pada 12 Mac lalu Allahyarham kembali ke Rahmatullah di Melbourne Hospital, Melbourne, Australia kerana serangan jantung, sesuatu yang sememangnya tidak pernah diduga oleh kita.

Namun, perjalanan awal dan akhir adalah realiti yang tidak boleh ditolak oleh sesiapa pun dan proses itu akan terus berlangsung tanpa henti walaupun sedetik (meminjam pendapat Aristotles).

Sebagai seorang pelukis dan printmaker, Rahime memberi sumbangan besar dalam kembaranya antara dua titik tersebut. Beliau pernah mengambil bahagian dalam lebih dari 30 buah pameran di tanah air dan luar negara.

Ia bermula sejak Pameran Seni & Reka di Shah Alam pada tahun 1976 dan Anak Alam pada tahun 1983. Sejak itu Allahyarham tidak menoleh ke belakang lagi. Pengembaraan seninya melangkah hingga ke Bangkok, Seoul, Hanoi, Jogjakarta, Mexico dan London.

Sementara

Namun, seperti ungkapan Micheal Foucault dalam tulisannya pada 1966, manusia hanyalah penemuan sementara dan akan musnah seperti wajah yang dilukiskan pada permukaan pasir.

Sama seperti makhluk-makhluk lain, Rahime juga merupakan sebahagian daripada kesementaraan tersebut atau oleh Aristotles disebut sebagai mencapai titik akhir daripada perubahan waktu.

Kesementaraan itu ditafsirkan oleh Immanuel Kant sebagai hakikat fenomena hakikat waktu dan ruang yang saling melengkapi atau turut dikenali sebagai gejala realiti.

Dalam bukunya The Critique of Pure Reason, Kant melontarkan pendapat bahawa ruang dan waktu adalah sebuah sistem yang melengkapi titik permulaan dan titik akhir kepada kehidupan makhluk di muka bumi.

Bagi Kant, proses perjalanan antara dua titik tersebut (berasaskan kepada pemikiran logik dan kebenaran empiris) penuh dengan unsur-unsur kontradiksi - sesuatu yang dikupas dengan lengkap oleh Frederich Hegel dalam bukunya The Science of Logic.

Perjalanan Allahyarham Rahime antara kedua-dua titik tersebut adalah sebuah pertembungan kontradiksi- kontradiksi tersebut. Empirisisme dan pemikirannya berjaya melahirkan sesuatu yang sangat berharga kepada dunia seni tanah air.

Memang, kehilangan seorang pelukis di negara mana pun tidak pernah mendapat penghormatan kenegaraan. Tidak akan ada kibaran bendera separuh tiang atau tembakan meriam.

Setidak-tidaknya, Allahyarham meninggalkan legasi seni yang besar dan layak dikenang oleh seluruh rakyat negara ini. Namun, seni tidak pernah berada di kedudukan paling tinggi dalam sesebuah negara bangsa.

Mungkin metafora dalam sebaris baris puisi penyair legenda Britain, Alexander Pope, Elegy to the Memory of an Unfortunate Lady (1717) cukup menarik untuk melihat perjalanan Allahyarham;

Alam dan seluruh hukumnya tersembunyi di kegelapan.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Alhamdullilah, Arwah Abah is back home



Assalamualaikum,

Pada 18 Mac 2008, jam 11 pagi, jenazah Hj Rahime Harun telah selamat disemadikan di Tanah Perkuburan Klang Gate, Ulu Klang. Alhamdullilah, dengan keizinan Allah segala proses telah berjalan dengan lancar.

Terharu, sedih, lega dapat kurasai di lubuk hati apabila melihat ramai yang datang untuk memberikan penghormatan terakhir buat Arwah. Pelbagai golongan hadir di kalangan pelukis, penyajak, art collector, pelakon, penyanyi, pengajar, pelajar, saudara mara dan teman teman rapat usah dikata, sememangnya sentiasa ada di sini selama 7 hari. Tak terucap kata terima kasih, hanya doa kami mengiringi agar Allah merahmati kehidupan kalian.

Malam semalam, terasa Abah mengucupi pipiku sewaktu aku tidur. Teringat sewaktu aku kecil, bila Abah pulang lewat dia akan masuk ke bilik ku dan membetulkan selimutku dan mengucupi pipiku. Aku sememangnya sedar tapi pura-pura tidur, malu.

credit photo by http://blog.zulkhas.com

Monday, March 17, 2008

Bekas Ketua Pengarah Balai Seni Lukis Negara meninggal - Berita Harian, 17 Mac 2008

Some write up on my late father, Haji Rahime Harun.

KUALA LUMPUR: Bekas Ketua Pengarah Balai Seni Lukis Negara (BSLN), Rahime Harun, (gambar) 54, meninggal dunia di Melbourne, Australia, Rabu lalu selepas diserang sakit jantung sewaktu sedang bercuti bersama isteri, anak, menantu dan cucunya.

Anak perempuannya, Nazura Zahian, 29, berkata bapanya diserang sakit jantung sehari sebelum mereka sepatutnya pulang dan akibat serangan itu mereka sekeluarga membawa beliau ke Royal Melbourne Hospital untuk mendapatkan rawatan.

"Bapa ditempatkan selama dua hari di Unit Rawatan Rapi sebelum menghembuskan nafas terakhirnya pada jam 7.25 petang waktu Melbourne," katanya sewaktu dihubungi di sini, semalam.

Jenazah Rahime yang sudah dimandi dan dikafankan dan kini ditempatkan di Masjid Preston, dijangka tiba di Lapangan Terbang Antarabangsa Kuala Lumpur (KLIA) jam 5.30 pagi Rabu ini untuk dikebumikan di Tanah Perkuburan Islam Klang Gate, di sini sebelum zuhur

Nazura Zahian berkata, bagaimanapun pihaknya dan sepupunya, Fadhli Rahim, anak kepada kembar Rahime, Rahim Harun, yang juga meninggal dunia kerana penyakit sama dan tinggal di sana sedang berurusan dengan beberapa pihak di Melbourne supaya jenazah dapat tiba lebih awal iaitu Selasa ini.

Rahime meninggalkan seorang balu, Zarina Ariffin; Nazura Zahian; menantu Mohd Fauzi Nasir dan cucu, Ilham Fannani, 2 setengah tahun.

Nazura Zahian berkata, arwah bapanya tidak menunjukkan sebarang tanda sebelum ini walaupun sebelum berangkat ke Makkah untuk menunaikan Haji pada musim lalu beliau diserang angin ahmar ringan.

"Bapa nampak gembira sewaktu di Melbourne dan sebelum diserang sakit jantung beliau sempat memasak kari ayam untuk kami sekeluarga yang pada waktu itu berada di rumah Fadhli kerana bapa memang suka memasak.

"Pada sebelah petang ketika hendak menunaikan sembahyang Asar beliau diserang sakit jantung menyebabkan kami membawanya ke hospital dan saya bersyukur kerana pihak paramedik di sana cepat bertindak.

"Mak ada berkata, sewaktu beliau dan bapa sembahyang musafir sebelum berlepas ke Melbourne, dalam doanya bapa ada menyebut 'bahawa aku bermusafir untuk melihat kebesaranMu' dan sewaktu berjalan-jalan dan melihat pemandangan yang cantik di sana bapa banyak kali memuji keindahan alam ciptaan Tuhan," katanya yang pulang bersama keluarga kelmarin.

Katanya, mereka terpaksa pulang awal atas nasihat pihak Penerbangan Malaysia kerana pada masa ini sedang berlangsung perlumbaan Formula Satu di Melbourne, dan segala urusan membawa pulang jenazah dilakukan Fadhli.

Rahime yang sebelum bertugas di BSLN bertindak sebagai Pengarah di Galeri Shah Alam adalah antara seorang pengumpul yang cukup dikenali di kalangan komuniti pelukis di negara ini.

Beliau yang dilahirkan di Pulau Pinang dan mendapat pendidikan dalam bidang rekaan industri di Institut Teknologi Mara dan Sarjana Pendidikan Seni dan Rekaan di De Monfort University adalah penggerak pemasaran lukisan di negara ini.

Rahime banyak menyumbang kepada perkembangan seni tampak negara dan idea beliau memasarkan karya pelukis Malaysia ke hotel-hotel, pejabat kedutaan dan pelancong memberi nafas baru kepada pemasaran lukisan di negara yang ini yang sebelum ini agak malap.

Friday, March 14, 2008

Most beautiful memories

Just to share our most beautiful memories in the name of Allah.We make our journey together.Here it goes:

Before we left for Melbourne,Abah had his solat sunat Mussafir and in his doa he said:

Ya Allah ya tuhanku, Aku bermusafir kerana ingin melihat kebesaranmu, Ya Allah.

And along our journey he keep on praising AllahuAkbar when he saw the skies, the mountain, the landscape and the stars.

Hj Rahime Harun , a man who live his life to the fullest.

Articles in Kakiseni.com by Dr Zulkifli Mohamad

Dear friends,

Dr Zulkifli wrote an article in kakiseni.com.

Rahime Harun: 1954 - 2008 by Dr. Zulkifli Mohamad

Rahime Harun dilahirkan kembar di Georgetown, Pulau Pinang pada 29 September 1954. Allahyarham mendapat pendidikan sekolah rendah dan menengah di Sekolah Saint Mark, Butterworth, Pulau Pinang dan Sekolah Menengah Georgetown, Pulau Pinang. Beliau menyambung pelajaran di Institut Teknologi MARA (ITM) pada tahun 1972 dan menjadi graduan Bachelor of Arts dalam bidang Industrial Design pada tahun 1976. Beliau pernah berkerja sebagai Pereka Muda di Paul Corley Kadar Associates, Pereka di Lembaga Kraftangan Malaysia, Display Executive di Metrojaya, dan Pemangku Kurator di Balai Seni Lukis Negara (BSLN) di antara tahun 1976 dan tahun 1983.

Allahyarham mengambil keputusan untuk menyambung pelajaran di dalam Diploma Entrepreneurship Development (Art Business) di ILO, Turin, Italy, dengan menerima biasiswa daripada Jabatan Perdana Menteri pada tahun 1984. Beliau kemudiannya menubuhkan galeri persendirian, A.P Gallery, bersama isterinya, Puan Zarina Ariffin, apabila Melewar Corporation membaikpulih bangunan Central Market menjadi Pasar Seni pada tahun 1985.

Sebagai seorang printmaker, Rahime pernah mengambil bahagian dalam lebih dari 30 buah pameran di Malaysia dan luar negara, bermula dari Pameran Seni & Reka di Shah Alam pada tahun 1976 dan Anak Alam pada tahun 1983 hinggalah ke Bangkok, Seoul, Hanoi, Jogjakarta, Mexico dan London pada tahun 1996. Pameran Self-Portraitnya AKU, yang dikuratorkan oleh J.Anu, pernah diadakan di Galeri Petronas, Kuala Lumpur pada tahun 1999. Sebagai seorang rakan kongsi sebuah galeri pula, Rahime sudah pernah menganjurkan hampir 70 buah pameran seni rupa di Malaysia dan di United Kingdom, yang memaparkan hasil karya seniman-seniman terkenal Malaysia termasuk O.Don Eric Peris, Ahmad Khalid Yusoff, Sharifah Fatimah Zubir, Ismail Ab.Latif, Raja Azhar, Khalil Ibrahim, Wong Kim Chin, Rudolf G.Usman serta Kumpulan Matahati.

Beliau kembali ke menara gading pada tahun 1995 untuk menyambung pengajian ke peringkat Master of Art and Design Education di bawah De Monfort University, United Kingdom dan Universiti Teknologi MARA.

Allahyarham Rahime Harun, sebagai seorang seniman sekaligus pencinta seni rupa, bukan hanya aktif mengurus, menulis dan memberikan syarahan tentang seni rupa dan pengurusannya, tetapi beliau juga merupakan seorang kolektor seni rupa yang aktif dan disegani ramai. Kredibilitinya sebagai seorang pejuang seni di Malaysia telah menempatkan dirinya sebagai juri pertandingan-pertandingan seni rupa, termasuk Bakat Muda, Balai Seni Lukis Negara dan Open Show, Galeri Shah Alam sejak tahun 1983.

Semangat “Anak Alam”nya yang memperjuangkan seni di Malaysia, menyaksikan beliau bergiat aktif dalam banyak persatuan semasa hayatnya, termasuk Persatuan Pelukis Malaysia, International Artists Association, Angkatan Pelukis Semenanjung, Ahli Seumur Hidup Penulis Nasional(PENA) serta penasihat Angkatan Karyawan Aktif Kuala Lumpur(ANGKA) yang bergiat dalam bidang teater. Sebagai seorang yang banyak mempunyai pengalaman di dalam bidang seni, Allahyarham Rahime Harun, tidak pernah jemu untuk memberikan galakan dan dorongan kepada seniman-seniman muda untuk terus berjuang menegakkan seni.

Rahime juga pernah berkhidmat sebagai Pengarah Galeri Shah Alam dan Selangor Art Foundation antara tahun 1997-2001. Beliau terpaksa berundur dari jawatan Ketua Pengarah di BSLN pada tahun 2005 kerana sebab-sebab kesihatan yang tidak mengizinkan. Pun begitu allahyarham tidak boleh tidak untuk menghadiri pameran-pameran seni rupa serta persembahan-persembahan teater dan sempat menganggotai penubuhan awal Majlis Seni Malaysia.

Terakhir, kita sempat menyaksikan rakaman video beliau berbicara tentang kumpulan seniman Matahati yang ditayangkan di Pembukaan Pameran Matahati di Galeri Petronas pada hari Isnin 10 Mac 2008 lalu. Beliau dikatakan sebagai orang penting di dalam penubuhan awal kumpulan tersebut.

Rahime Harun, seniman dan pejuang seni Bangsa Malaysia, telah diserang sakit jantung semasa berada di Melbourne, pada 11 Mac 2008 dan beliau diberitakan kembali ke rahmatullah pada jam 4.45 petang, 12hb Mac 2008 di Melbourne Hospital, Melbourne, Australia. Sesungguhnya kita telah kehilangan sebutir lagi bintang yang menyuluh dunia seni rupa kita.

Semuga rohnya dicucuri rahmat. Salam takziah dipanjatkan kepada balu allahyarham, Puan Zarina Ariffin dan anak tercinta serta seluruh ahli keluarga. Al-Fatihah.

**Updated
Jenazah Allahyarham Rahime Harun yang bakal tiba di Kuala Lumpur International Airport, Sepang pada 18 Mac 2008 akan dibawa ke kediamannya di Taman Melawati, Kuala Lumpur.
~
Zulkifli Mohamad lectures on dance theatre, traditional theatre, arts management, and visual arts at University Malaya.

Rahime, this is your time

rahime, this is your time

it’s been more than 40 days since i played my pretend-to-be-artist game. this is terrible. i can’t sleep properly, i can’t stand all these movies any more and there’s no background music in my life. worse, i’m broke. i've rebooted onto a desktop with no software.

words recurring on the tube since the ‘tsunami’: diterjemahkan, rakyat, wakil, dan lain-lain, post-mortem, terkejut, muhasabah, janji, harga, polarisasi, melihat, (among others)
are artists represented? words like catan, karya, pelukis, seni lukis, berus, kanvas, pengajian seni tampak, kurikulum seni lukis, buku teks kbsr seni lukis, never made it.

meanwhile, dio is performing in the background NOW

Right now it seems
You're only dreams and shadows
If wishes could be
eagles how you'd fly

This is your life
This is your time
What if the flame
won't last forever
This is your here
This is your now
Let it be magical

Rahime Harun passed away today in Melbourne.

thanks for helping me keep the spirit in more ways than all.


taken from http://subterran.blogspot.com

Dear RS,
Thank you for the beautiful poem dear RS.I'm sure my father is smiling proudly now.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Al Fatihah

Al Fatihah

Pada 12 March 2008, jam 7:25(waktu melbourne)(4:25 ptg-waktu Malaysia), bapa saya yang dikasihi, Rahime Harun telah menghembuskan nafas terakhirnya di Wad ICU, Royal Melbourne Hospital, Australia. Alhamdullilah,he died peacefully beside my mom.
Jenazah akan dibawa pulang ke Malaysia dan insyallah akan dikebumikan di Tanah Perkuburan Klang Gate, Tmn Melawati. Tarikh kepulangan kami masih belum dapat ditetapka n lagi kerana proses dokumen yang perlu kami lalui di Melbourne agak rumit.
Doakanlah kami cepat sampai ke Malaysia dan segala urusan dapat dipermudahkan. I really want to go home. Kami pergi ke Australia berlima dan kami akan pulang berlima, insyallah.

I will update from time to time.
If anyone wants any new update do call my house at 41077686 or 41062963(manggis ofis).

Insyallah, when I find the courage to write, I will write about The Man who lives his life to the Fullest, Rahime Harun. Banyak pengalaman2 indah yang terakhir untuk diceritakan kepada kalian.

Doakan kami cepat pulang.

Abah, segalanya aku adalah dirimu.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Updates

Alhamdullilah my parents selamat sampai mengerjakan haji. Such a great relief to see them back again. (Hmmm..what I ll do without them?) Me and my mom have so many story to share. Her experience and what happen while she s away. Mama looks great. She's stronger that what I think she is. Abah is officially OKU ( he annouced last week). heheheh...Due to his minor stroke, he lost 1 side of his hearing and made us raise our volume everytime we talk to him. So from now on, I ll get use to high volume from the tv. And another thing, I think Abah is the cutest atok with his OKU status.

Abah, segalanya aku adalah dirimu.

Madness in Manggis

New Year. New Challenge. New Madness!

Now is approx 1 am. Our office are just like 1pm. All the hardcore editor is here. Trying our level best to deliver the maximum wedding dvd that we can before our short break. The editing que board is full of scribble. Job done, job overdue, job on hold etc etc. My otak also tepu with non stop things to do. Yesterday, i woke up in the morning and saw near my chin a pimples. Grrr...
Tomorrow is the last day to do all the remaining stuff. Pay bills etc...I don t want to worry while I m away.

Thursday, January 03, 2008

I thank you Allah

Alhamdulilah, we've come to the year of 2008. I ll be 29 this year, pojee will be 36 and eam will be 3. Weehoo! How fast time flies...2007 was the most challenging year for me and my family. My mom been diagnosed with cancer, my dad had minor stroke a week before he went for Haj and my cousin Armin pass away. Despite of all that, I have so many reason to thank Allah for all the lesson that I ve learnt. The most important thing that I learn is 'qada dan qadar'. I finally discover what is the true meaning of that after few major incidents happen to me. I'm blessed with all the love from the people around me.

Syukur tak terhingga, all my hajat came true. Mama and Abah now is performing their Haj, eventhough both are not that fit. 2 months before that Mama did her CT scan and the result shows all her patience, courage and zikir works with her 6 cycle chemo. The reduction of the tumor surprised us all including the doctor. All my bad dreams and thought proves me wrong when I realised how strong is the POWER OF MIND.

After 54 years, Mama finally had a wonderful birthday party. Its been my ultimate dream to make a surprise party for Mama. With all the support from family and friends, Mama had a wonderful nite. A night to remember for me and her. The next morning, I received a sms for her ' GREATEST SURPRISE,I STILL CANT BELIEVE. THANK U THANK U'.

Manggis turns 7 this year. We now have 1 little brother 'Manggis Fotografik' to look after. New spirit, new ideas is what I look forward for this new year. Alhamdullilah, rezeki orang kawen tak putus-putus...I thank Allah for giving me the source of rezeki which I can share with all my staff. Every year when I manage to give bonus to them, I felt so relieve. I dont know why but it just give me the good feeling, the feeling of sharing...

Hope this year bring me more joy and happiness in life and work. More time to be spend with my family, my son and my sili.

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Monday, November 26, 2007

Syhhh it s a surprise

Monday, September 10, 2007

A trip to remember



Just got back from our hometown, Kota Bharu. E-am tag along with us and as expected he had few episode of self demonstration at the airport, market and few other places.Muka akak ni dah taktau tebal mana dah... Sabar je lah. But most of all, we had fun. Me and mama were laughing all the way watching e-am in action. Nantilah ada masa , I ll tell you more stories of this trip.

Mama and E-am looks great.

Monday, September 03, 2007

We are different, yet we are alike

Courage

What Is Courage
Brenda Wiseman, R.N.,C.

Have you ever wondered where people get the COURAGE to deal with life's adversities? Reflecting on your own life, perhaps you have questioned the source of your personal courage. Talking with people in the clinic each day, I am struck by the incredible courage of our patients and their families.

In exploring the definition of courage, I was reminded that courage is NOT the absence of fear. It is a quality of mind which meets danger or opposition with valor, firmness and bravery. This definition still seems inadequate to describe the reflection in the eyes of people who frequent this clinic. Upon further exploration, I learned that the French root word of courage is coeur which means heart. The heart as the sustaining source of courage... Courage that is "rooted" in love. This definition brought clarity to the reflection seen in the eyes of those living with cancer and their loved ones.

In 1534 Martin Luther was quoted (in preface to his translation of the Psalms) "The human heart is like a ship on a stormy sea driven about by winds blowing from all four corners of heaven." Cancer is certainly one of the stormiest seas of life, and it calls for courage in both aspects of its definition: firmness in the presence of danger and heart in the form of love.

As I look at cancer patients and their loved ones, I see that love seems to be the essential ingredient to propel us in life and the fundamental source of courage.

Saturday, September 01, 2007

A song for Mama

I remember singing this to mama through the phone while I was away. It really suits to what I felt about my mama.
Hope one day, E-am will be singing me this song too :)

You taught me everything
And everything youve given me
I always keep it inside
Youre the driving force in my life, yeah
There isnt anything
Or anyone I can be
And it just wouldnt feel right
If I didnt have you by my side
You were there for me to love and care for me
When skies were grey
Whenever I was down
You were always there to comfort me
And no one else can be what you have been to me
Youll always be you always will be the girl
In my life for all times

Chorus:
Mama, mama you know I love you
Oh you know I love you
Mama, mama youre the queen of my heart
Your love is like
Tears from the stars
Mama, I just want you to know
Lovin you is like food to my soul
Youre always down for me
Have always been around for me even when I was bad
You showed me right from my wrong
Yes you did
And you took up for me
When everyone was downin me
You always did understand
You gave me strength to go on
There was so many times
Looking back when I was so afraid
And then you come to me
And say to me I can face anything
And no one else can do
What you have done for me
Youll always be
You will always be the girl in my life

i cried.

Emotion swings

Its hard to describe my feelings right now. At times, I'm on top of my positive energy and at times I'm drifting apart. Ya Allah, kuatkanlah semangat ku ini. Time is like so precious to me right now. Juggling myself as a mother, daughter, wife and an employer is very challenging for me. There's no time to be selfish, all I can think right now is to accomodate as much as I can to every responsibilities. I thank you for those who have been helping and supporting me in many aspects. From helping me taking care of E-am at the office to giving me the oppurtanity to spend time with Mama. You know who you are.I thank you very much.
Mama had gone through her second chemo last week and now recovering the side effects. In another 2 weeks time, she ll be doing her third chemo again. Hmmm..another disaster routine to go. But Mama is hanging there, firm and tawakal. Ya Allah, panjangkanlah masa Mama bersama kami, berikanlah mama kekuatan, berikanlah kami sekeluarga kekuatan untuk menerima dugaanmu ini...