ilham kasih fishie di sini!

Rindu

2010-08-26T06:41:00.002+08:00

Selepas solat Asar semalam aku menangis sepuas-puasnya. Rindunya hati ini...

Sayu...
Hati ini makin sayu
Rindu...
Terkenangkan desa permai
Wajah ayah bonda
Bermain di mata
Mengajak ku pulang ke desa
Di hari bahagia
Hari raya

Lama ku tunggu
Bertemu di pagi mulia
Namun tidak kesampaian
Air mata jatuh berlinangan

Ku ingin berulang
Manisnya bersama
Menyambut hari bahagia

Jarak memisahkan
Rindu pertemuan
Bilakah hasrat jadi nyata

Duhai ayah bonda
Ampunkan anakanda
Tak dapat beraya bersama

Jauh dari mata
Dekat dalam jiwa
Teguh kasihku tak berubah

Lama ku tunggu
Bertemu di pagi mulia
Namun tidak kesampaian
Air mata jatuh berlinangan

Time to express myself - again

2010-08-21T11:40:00.003+08:00

I've been really quiet for quite sometime . It's not that nothing interesting happen to my life, in fact so many things happened. And I believe things happen for a reason. I have to say that 2009-2010 are the most challenging years. I have come to a certain understanding thinking of God must want to prepare me for a bigger challenge in my life.

Dear Allah, Please give me strength to live this life without Mama & Abah besides me. I'm coping well-at times. But sometimes I do break down and cry thinking all the coming days without my parents around. I cherished all the good times and bad times we had. They had given me the best and now it's time for me to do the same thing to my children.

Thank you Allah swt for the happiness and sadness.

Lets do this. I want to write again.

I AM BACK !

2010-03-06T01:36:00.002+08:00

Yes, I am back in this blog. Will start writing again.

Just in case, you ve been wondering what happen to me after my delivery for my little girl/ Well let us put it as I was lost in transition in my role as a mother, daughter and a wife-and as a boss at work. But now, everything seems to fall into places and yeah, I am good and happy and love love love to write again. I feel good, praise to Allah.

She's finally here! My Kasih Salsabila

2009-06-29T14:07:00.006+08:00

On 19 June 09 at 925am, Kasih Salsabila was born. Syukur, alhamdullilah di atas anugerah yang terindah ini. A healthy baby girl weight 3kg, length at 51 cm.

View her first video clip:

shot and edited by her proud dad

Counting Days : 4 days

2009-06-15T12:23:00.002+08:00

Just got back from my last check up.

Baby is still breech. I ll admit on thursday after midnight. According to the doctor, my c sec will be on 830am on Friday. Gosh, though this is my second experience, I m still nervous. I guess it goes the same to all moms kan? eventhough its your second or third or forth time experience. The 'debaran' is still the same. Pheww...

I'm taking half day work starting from today (shishh, got interview session at 3pm today). So I guess starts from tomorrow then... Need to get a good rest and stress free mode from now on.

Counting Days: 10 Days

2009-06-09T10:11:00.004+08:00

Baby is still breech.

I am really exhausted. Yesterday went to shop for E am stuff in Jaya Jusco, fell like fainted. I was sweating like mad and my body is so tired. Waiting for E am to finish his sushi feels like forever. I almost fell asleep in Subway while having our take out sandwiches. Ya Allah, kuatkan lah semangat hambamu ini...I ve not been sleeping well for the past few days. I probably slept for 4 hours. My trips to loo increased. Major reason that I can t have my sleep is the short of breath, heartburn at times. Senak. Baby's head is still below my rib cage (ouch, yes it still hurts). I ve been yawning, my eyes n my head seems so heavy. Last night, I woke up 4 times and for me to continue sleeping is such a big effort. Lucky my zikir and alfatihah helps me to feel at ease.

Yesterday was my check up. Bp good. urine good. baby good. now weight at 2.8kg.

Let s hope that my new bundle of joy will be in my arms in another 10 days.

“ Tuhanku berilah kepadaku ( seorang anak) dari anak-anak yang soleh”

35 weeks

2009-06-01T13:36:00.005+08:00

Mengah. Short of breath. Uncomfortable.

Thats summarize what I m goin thru for the past 2 weeks and I believe in another 2 or 3 weeks more. Phewww...penatnyaa...
At this point of time, I just can t wait to deliver my baby. Just got back from my medical check ups. Baby now weight at 2.7kg(E am's weight when I deliver him at 36w, 4 years ago). I am now in my 35 weeks. Baby tummy is breech. Her head is just below my rib cage (ouchh!) and her legs is pushing down my bladder ( Arghh!). So it explain why my trip to the restroom is endless and the short of breath. At times I feel like somebody is stabbing me just below my rib cage. Huwaaa...sakit woo...

So for now, we are looking at giving birth on the 38w with a plan caesarean. Insyallah...19 days to go.

I am preparing myself for the new arrival and also leaving all the office works. Hopefully, everything is ok...amin...

My first art collection - The last stand in Tanah Merah(Rainbow Warriors Series)

2009-05-11T11:38:00.005+08:00

So this is how it feels when you purchase an artwork using your own hard-earned money. WOW, it feels great. Now I understand why Arwah Abah always have this crave for art. First saw this artwork on the facebook put up by the artist, Rafiee Ghani (called him as Cik Rafiee). I wrote a comment 'the brilliant colour and the contrast portrays the urge for a freedom. I get the feeling of I want to break free. love this one A LOT!'. Later, this artwork keep on lingering on my mind for few days. Pheww..such a great impact. We correspond few messages on the facebook and walaa the next thing I know Cik Rafiee was in my office with that painting. I was hypnotized and signed the cheque (Hahahah..nolah, I was totally aware of what I m doin).
When I saw that painting for real, my heart was jumping up and down. Felt like crying and screaming all at the same time. Arwah Abah have few of Rafiee Ghani's artwork but hey thats his. I find this piece is different from what Rafiee Ghani have produced before. It gives this sentimental yet powerful impact to me. I asked the artist, What were you thinking when you painted this piece? He said the boy is his son, Hasan aged 6. He was reflecting his son on facing the real world- the challenge ahead. Yes, I felt that too and its obviously remind me of my Ilham.

So this is me, aged 30 owning my first art collection from Rafiee Ghani whom I know since I was 6.

It gives me the pleasure for my eyes and soul-Happy Mother s Day.

Ilhamku selamanya...

2009-05-10T15:42:00.006+08:00

L.O.V.E

2009-04-24T14:12:00.002+08:00

What's life living without love?

What a great day to start!

2009-04-20T11:03:00.004+08:00

I dreamed a dream in time gone by
When hope was high and life worth living
I dreamed that love would never die
I dreamed that God would be forgiving

Les Miserables I Dreamed a Dream Lyrics

Almost everyone have this thing call Monday blues. I definitely skip mine today after watching this video which was shared by sity in her facebook.

It s just a great feeling watching this video. She moves people heart and inspire so many people around the world. There s a lot of things that we can learn after watching this video. I like to highlight some points :

The moment we are born, we each have in our possession the most amazing gift! It is the gift of pure untapped potential, unique and different for each of us.-Steve Brunkhorst-

Yes, I believe in this. It takes a courage to develop the potential within us. And the ability to push our limit to the level best. What Susan Boyle prove to us is her COURAGE in pursuing her dreams. No matter what people think of her, she just smile and go on with it. We need to believe in ourselves, then people will starts believing. Looking at Susan Boyle age and image, nobody in that hall would expect her to deliver an extraordinaire performance. She nail it on her first phrase of the song!

And then let us look at the audience of that performance. By just looking at that crowd, it certainly portray how actually people react for something different. Susan Boyle definitely do not have the package of being a singer in this decade. Look at the reaction or their face expression when Susan Boyle walk in and during the interviews by Simon. Those cynical smile and the sarcastic remarks will tear you apart. This shows how we (some of us) prejudge people without looking at the inner self of a person.

There s so many aspect to analyze with this video. Just by watching this, It taught me a lot about having the courage to pursue my dreams, to believe the potential within me and not to be afraid of the challenges.

Maids

2009-04-14T16:30:00.008+08:00

Maids oh maids. Pening jugak memikirkan hal ni. In this challenging world, how I wish I can just close my eyes on the house chores. I ll be in cloud nine for not thinking of laundry, those dirty dishes and pans in the sink and cleaning up my anak and abah bujang lepak place.

The question: Is having a maid will give you a peace of mind or more headache? or more like escapism.

Hmmm...semua pon betul rasanya.

I was broad up with 5 maids within 11 years of my childhood life. Back then, there no Indons working as maid. All are local people and mama paid around RM200-250 per month. I call them 'kakak'. The last kakak work with us for 6 years when I was 5 until 11. Having maids doesnt give me any chance of escapism. Mama wont let that happen. Thank god for that. I still need to do all the house chores like other kids. But at that time, I still manage to somehow escape la jugak. curik tulang beb...hehehe...Not until the last kakak who quit because she s getting married when I was 11. That s when everything change. At first Mama would cook before she leave to work. But later on,she probably tired of it and later I discover the art of cooking in the kitchen. Yeehaa! Belasah je, semua benda I tried, from tomyam to nasi goreng at the age of 11. Rasa toksah cakap laa,,,experimental cooking la katakan...hehehe

So from that time, I learn to be independent. It's been quite sometime, we live our life without any assistance until the year 1999 where my mom again hired a maid from Indon. Her name is Kak Sue. Mid 30s.Hard working and very good in cooking especially in western food. She works for almost a year. Everything looks good. The only mistake that Mama did was giving her the permission to go back to her hometown (not until her contract finish). It was the last time we saw her, balik kampung and never return.

Next, another indons. This one I dont even remember her name. Old lady, probably early 50s. Yang ni memang laa hampeh. Dahlaa takleh ckp, bongok pulak tu. I remember how arwah Abah showed her how to cut a watermelon nicely. Dia boleh hempas pisau dlm sink mcm tanda protes. It was hari raya open house. This is funny, she dress really nice and sat beside my mom all the way during the open house. Almost all the guest thought that she is my moms relatives. Everyone siap bersalam ngan dia. Yang kita ni punyaa laa berlemuih kat dapur. Next day, off you go.

Pastu ada sorang ni nama Ur. Early 20s. Bagus kerja tapi kasar. Semua style hempas2. Cakap pon garang jugak, kita pulak jadi takut ngan dia. Pastu dia ni suka tengok channel Arab( she use to work there). Tak kira laa sapa yang ada depan tv, she just simply change the tv channel to Al Jazeera. Last-last tak tahan, dia cau. Agaknya sebab kitowang tak bagi dia can nak tgk belly dance la kot.

Then another one. Yang ni scary jugak... E am was around 9 months. Masa memula amik dia ni, dah macam pelik bila tengok dia punya dressing. But I thought she probably sekali-sekala pakai camtu. Memang macam minah dangdut. Ok takpe...relax lagi. Next morning when I woke up I saw her in sleeveless body hugging with faded jeans and a bling bling belt. WTF??? Bertambah gugur laa rambut laki aku camni.isk isk. My mom asked her to change and she said all her cloth are like that. Makk aii...Then she also loves to bring E am jalan-jalan keluar rumah. OMG, can you imagine my little E am with minah dangdut. No no. Pastu ada skali tu, mama asked her tak semayang ke? She said she s not muslim, she a christian. Padahal laki dia islam. Uishh kalo taknak semayang, ckp jelah. Yang pegi ckp dia kristian tu nape. Isk isk. Then we also discover that she smoke in the house and later we discover that she was a GRO in Bali. Aduhhh..no way i can let this type of person in my house.

The last one was a young girl name Ika. Kerja boleh tahan. Bagus. Very young probably in 17. Tapi dia ni suka main telefon. Bergayut 24 jam. Sambil jaga E am, sambil tu jugak bergayut tepon. Then later, we start to lost some money. Mama's syilling from overseas worth thousands hilang. Arwah Abah punya duit RM50 note pon hilang few pieces. We finally caught her taking the money. Hmmm... off you go.

As you can see now, I have few bad experience. How come there s no longer good maids available for me. :(

Baik sangat pon tak bagus, Garang sangat pon tak bagus jugak.

Hmmm...so do I need a maid? Or I become the maid. huwaaa tamoo...

* just got this video from leila
maid kicks a child

we certainly dont want this to happen.

Me & myself

2009-04-14T10:34:00.003+08:00

There s so many things I want to write that have been in my mind for the past few days. I just dont have the time to write. ahh.. ye la tuu kan... we loves to make excuses after excuses. Kalau facebook , ada pulak masa kan. You need to make time for the things you want to do. Otherwise, you'll stuck within your own time zone and making excuses becomes A HABIT.

Ok, enough of all that. Let's start pouring the juice...

Last week was a busy week for me. In my office, there's few main boards which is dedicated for 'shooting que' and 'delivery que'. Both boards are pack with scribbles here and there. Pheww...pening but at the same time I'm thankful to Allah for the rezeki.
I have 2 preview in the office and not to forget 3 datelines for delivery. It was endless dvd burning process. I always said this, how I wish its that easy burning my fats. hu hu hu. In the office, my task are more on QC, finalizing dvds and managements (grrr). Speaking of that, I had few 'amok' scene where I m so pissed with the attitude of certain people. In this case, my own staff. In Manggis, we encourage everyone to communicate with each other. There's no gap between your superior or senior and junior staff. We are a team. We are Manggisian. We ve been working in a friendly and knowledge sharing for the past 8 years. What really pissed me off is when a staff was given an assignment, then he just sits there acting like he knows what he do, and at the end of the day, everything is totally wrong. What makes me really mad was the attitude of 'bodoh sombong'. Tak mau bertanya lansung! Grrr...ok, enough bout office stuff. I dont want to make my life more tense.

More about my life. What can I say, I'm 7 months pregnant with a jumpy 3.5 old son and have been living my life without maid. I know there s a lot of working mothers who live this kind of life. In fact, with more kids. And I have to salute to all working moms who have the ability of multitasking being a working woman, wife, mother and daughter. Yes, salute to you and me! Having said that, how I wish our husband are more handy with house chores. I'm not complaining, really (am i ?) It really make my day if my other half would at least wash the dishes, buat susu or even throw the rubbish... without me asking for it. And without the word of 'kejap'. Haa, speaking of that, it seems that this word has been affected to E am as well. ' E am, jom washh!' he ll said 'kejap la, e am tgh main chu chu train nie...'E am jom sleep' he ll answered 'kejap a mummy, E am nak tgk tv niee...' Semua benda kejap. Sabar je lahh.. tu tak campur dengan Abahnya yang jugak sukaaa cakap kejap. I remember masa I was in my teenage years, kalau cakap 'kejap' or 'nanti' to Mama, memang siaplaaa kena pukul ngan apa2 objek yang ada kat tangan dia masa tu...huhuhuh..takoott oo...

Pregnancy for now, everything is under control. My BP so far is normal, compared to E am time where I have a hypertension. I ve gain 3 kg so far and the baby now weight approx 1kg. Baby tummy is growing accordingly, as what Dr Fauziah said. This baby tummy is very active, she 's been kicking up and down, left and right. My back is in pain and every time I stand up from a long sit, my tummy felt so heavy (not too sure wether its the baby or my fats). My body is in heat and toilet is my best buddy for the past 4 months. For now, I can t wait to see my baby tummy. The feeling of being pregnant is so obvious now. Once I deliver, then it s the new way of life and definitely another life changing for everyone in the family.

I still have few things to share, I ll write later when I have time. Yaa..more excuse nazura...

Till this keyboard meet the monitor again...time to burn dvd again.

Kedewasaan

2009-03-14T10:22:00.001+08:00

"umur seiring terbitnya matahari, terbitnya rembulan, dan terbenamnya mentari serta terbenamnya rembulan, seiring bertambahnya usia hantarkan menuju puncak, tambah menambah adalah proses menuju kedewasaan, hingga hantarkan kita menuju perencanaan hidup"

Beautiful words from my dear friend in Bali, Pak Agung

21 weeks 5 days

2009-02-27T16:29:00.002+08:00

I ve come half way of the whole pregnancy journey. Alhamdullilah, everything went on smoothly, so far. E-am named this unborn baby as Baby tummy ( due to his understanding from a book that I bought for him in preparing him to be a brother). Baby tummy starts kicking on my 16 weeks and it feels awesome. I don't remember E-am starts kicking as early as this. E-am movement was so much graceful compared to this one. Baby tummy moves actively and can move up and down, left and right. (It must be so much room inside my tummy,,,i need a tummy tuck,pls). Today I had a detail scan where the doctor will check most of the important organs and measure. Alhamdullilah, everything were checked and it was a complete baby tummy. Allahu akbar, how great you are.

And as most of everyone been asking, is it a boy or a girl? Hmm...no pistol been seen under there yet. 2 doctor been searching for it, but still no sign. So what does it says yeah? E-am time was really easy, by the forth month, we could already see his pistol ( it was obvious, really). So let us wait for another month, to see wether is there any pistol hiding down there. If no, then its time to go for a pinkish shopping spree. yeehaa!

Dialogue

2009-02-25T15:10:00.005+08:00

E-am : Mummy, E-am tade fren?
Mummy : Nanti baby tummy kuar, e am kawan lah dengan dia k?
E-am : E am nak ketuk baby tummy nanti!
(haiyaa...habislaa adik dia nanti )

Mummy : Nanti baby tummy kuar E am nak bagi nama apa?
E-am : Upin, Mummy!

Dalam perjalanan ke nursery.
E-am : Mummy, nape sume kete laju?
Mummy : Err...
E-am : Dia nak gi bank kot ....

E-am : Abah, jangan la bawak kete laju-laju, nanti polis tangkap, masuk penjala( penjara)...
Abah : Muka moncong.

A picture worth a thousand words : Ilham & Indah

2009-02-18T15:23:00.003+08:00

Hati Terbakar aka Heartburn

2009-01-20T11:38:00.002+08:00

Currently I'm facing with this heartburn problem. Argh..it is so uncomfortable! Here I put up an article from Babycentre for any pregnand ladies who is facing this.

Many women experience heartburn for the first time during pregnancy — and though it's common and generally harmless, it can be quite uncomfortable.

Heartburn (also called acid indigestion or acid reflux) is a burning sensation that often extends from the bottom of the breastbone to the lower throat. It's caused by some of the hormonal and physical changes in your body.

During pregnancy, the placenta produces the hormone progesterone, which relaxes the smooth muscles of the uterus. This hormone also relaxes the valve that separates the esophagus from the stomach, allowing gastric acids to seep back up, which causes that unpleasant burning sensation.

Progesterone also slows down the wavelike contractions of your esophagus and intestines, making digestion sluggish. Later in pregnancy, your growing baby crowds your abdominal cavity, pushing the stomach acids back up into the esophagus.

Many women start experiencing heartburn and other gastrointestinal discomforts in the second half of pregnancy. Unfortunately, it usually comes and goes until your baby is born.
What can I do about it?

Though you may not be able to eliminate heartburn entirely, you can take steps to minimize your discomfort:

• Avoid food and beverages that cause you gastrointestinal distress. The usual suspects are carbonated drinks; alcohol (which you should avoid anyway during pregnancy); caffeine; chocolate; acidic foods like citrus fruits and juices, tomatoes, mustard, and vinegar; processed meats; mint products; and spicy, highly seasoned, fried, or fatty foods.

• Don't eat big meals. Instead, eat several small meals throughout the day. Take your time eating and chew thoroughly.

• Avoid drinking large quantities of fluids during meals — you don't want to distend your stomach. (It's important to drink eight to ten glasses of water daily during pregnancy, but sip it between meals.)

• Try chewing gum after eating. Chewing gum stimulates your salivary glands, and saliva can help neutralize acid.

• Don't eat close to bedtime. Give yourself two to three hours to digest before you lie down.

• Sleep propped up with several pillows or a wedge. Elevating your upper body will help keep your stomach acids where they belong and will aid your digestion.

• Gain a sensible amount of weight, and stay within the guidelines your healthcare provider suggests.

• Wear loose, comfortable clothing. Avoid any tightness around your waist and tummy.

• Bend at the knees instead of at the waist.

• Don't smoke — in addition to contributing to a host of serious health problems, smoking boosts stomach acidity. (Ideally, smoking is a habit you should break before getting pregnant. If you're still smoking and are having trouble quitting, ask your caregiver for a referral to a smoking-cessation program.)

• An over-the-counter antacid that contains magnesium or calcium may ease discomfort, but check with your prenatal caregiver before taking one, because some brands contain aluminum or aspirin or are high in sodium.

Love letter

2008-12-19T10:26:00.006+08:00

Salam Abah,

If you are here, I'm sure you'll gonna love E-am. In fact, you'll be tired talking to him. He's only quite when he is asleep while when his eyes are open, so does his mouth. He is full of ideas, just like you Abah. Every night, before he go to sleep he will ask me or Mama to read his bedtime story books. I remember you use to told him 'momok' stories like zombie kampung pisang when he was only 2. Yes, he still love horror story which I even scared to tell. It must have been you who gave him ideas of listening to stories before he go to sleep. And he still demand that until today. Besides talking, he also loves dancing every time he listen to his favourite songs like the 'move it, move it' songs from the Madagascar. We took him to the movies with Indah early this month. They were such a BFF(best friend forever) type of friends. I know it has been always your dream to brought E-am to watch movies with you. Don't worry Abah, we'll definitely have you in our heart every time we watch movies. E-am also loves songs especially I'm Yours by Jason Mraz. We have that songs in our car and it has been played for so so many times. Even yesterday, we were in Pasar Malam, out of nowhere he heard that songs been played and you can see his face lighted. 'Mummy, I'm yours!'. He's indeed mine. Owh, how I wish you could witness E-am's development day by day

I'll turn 30 next year. I'm 3 1/2 month pregnant now. You will have your second grandchildren by end of June, insyallah. How fast time flies, Abah. Memories of me growing up feels like yesterday, but look at me now. Married with kids and not to forget still overweight ( i dont blame u and mama :P). But I'm happy for what I am and thankful to Allah.

Rest in peace Abah, for I shall meet you again when my times come. Only Allah knows how much I miss you...

Love,
Yan

Eam and Tok Abah in Sydney march 2008

updates

2008-12-01T10:30:00.004+08:00

I'm 9 weeks pregnant and it's been like a roller coaster ride. Up and down we go...wheeee...mabuk.ok.mabuk.ok. If I'm not the one who puke, then Pojee will. During E-am time, it was a smooth sailing pregnancy. This time around, memang lain macam skit.
E-am have start calling himself, Abang E-am. He would ask me, 'mana baby mummy?' I said 'Baby is soo kecik inside here'. Then he will peek inside my dress to find his baby. 'Tade poon mummy...' And recently he has persuade us to call him BABY KULUS (baby kurus). I'm still wondering where he got this weird idea.
Work is as usual, hectic. Excited with new products, new style, new groove. In the meantime, I have started doing some inventory for Abah's art collections. With the help from Manggisian and my cousin, so far 370 works has been documented. About 1700 more to go. I'm also looking for a person to work dedicatedly for this art collections. Preferably a person who loves art. So if you know anyone, who is interested please send the resume to me- nazura@manggis.tv

Pregnancy Mode again

2008-11-11T13:27:00.003+08:00

As you can see on the ticker above, yeap. I am . Alhamdullilah, finally I saw the 2 lines after few attempt. Allah hear my prayers. I hope i will have a good pregnancy and deliver safely. Wish me luck!

Every Mom proud moment

2008-10-19T17:42:00.006+08:00

Doa Recital by Ilham from nazura rahime on Vimeo.

This is a wonderful moment for me to see E-am recite doa makan. Owh...I m so ecxcited and been talking about this over and over again.

First time writer

2008-10-07T16:48:00.005+08:00

I was asked to write about my late father for his exhibition in National Art Gallery soon. I'm very nervous since I have no experience in writing except for this blog. I don't know what to write but I know to write about truth on my personal experience. So dear friends, please feel free to read and comment. Really appreciate for any feedback for my writings.

Abahku, Hj Rahime Harun
1954-2008
oleh Nazura Zahian Rahime

I've lived a life that's full -
I've travelled each and every highway.
And more, much more than this,
I did it my way…

Terasa bagai semalam kudengar Abah menyanyikan lagu My Way oleh
Frank Sinatra. Aduh, manisnya saat-saat itu. Kami menyanyi riang sekeluarga.
Kini yang tinggal hanyalah imbasan-imbasan kenangan yang aku simpan di kotak memoriku.

Aku dibesarkan dengan penuh warna-warni. Persekitaranku penuh dengan visual seni tampak. Dari Anak Alam aku habiskan masa hujung mingguku dengan belajar melukis hinggalah ke alam Central Market aku belajar berniaga menjual poskad. Anak Alam dan Central Market seumpama rumah keduaku. Pelukis dan penyair yang menjadi teman Abah, ku panggil Pakcik atau Uncle. Tiada apa yang asing bagiku. Kami adalah keluarga di atas nama cinta seni.

Kami hidup serba sederhana. Yang aku tahu, seni adalah segala-galanya buat Abah. Biarlah rumah kami kecil, asal harta seni kami besar. Biarlah kereta Abah second hand, asal Abah dapat bantu insan seni. Itulah abahku, Rahime Harun. Seorang insan yang berjiwa besar dan sangat berpandangan jauh.

Seingatku, belum pernah aku tinggal di ruang yang dindingnya kosong. Sewaktu aku di bangku sekolah, pelajaran pertama yang sering Abah titik beratkan adalah matapelajaran seni. Malah setiap kali aku pulang dari sekolah dengan kad laporan, mata Abah pasti tertumpu pada markah pendidikan seni. Mujur, aku melepasi piawaian yang Abah tetapkan. Masih ingat lagi aku dengan kata-kata Abah sewaktu aku belajar teknik watercolour wet on wet. Katanya, “ A brush is like a dancer on a stage”. Waktu itu, aku bingung menterjemahkan metafora itu.

Selain daripada seni tampak, Abah punya minat dalam teater dan filem. Malam mingguku dipenuhi dengan aktiviti menonton teater ataupun menonton wayang di Cathay sambil menikmati hotdog special. Dalam perjalanan pulang, Abah sering membuat mini critic session di kalangan Mama dan aku. Pandanganku didengar tanpa diskriminasi walaupun waktu itu aku masih bersekolah rendah.

Abah punya jiwa yang sensitive apabila menonton filem yang menyentuh hati. Entah berapa kali, Abah menitis air mata selepas melihat filem yang punya penceritaan yang indah. Pernah juga dia meluahkan hasratnya untuk membuat filem pendek bersama-samaku, namun atas kebatasan waktu kami simpan hasrat itu.

Abah sangat gemar menjelajahi dunia. Abah pernah berkata“ If I travel, I feel so much alive”. Benar, kata-kata Abah. Setiap kali kami ke luar Negara, Abahlah orang yang berjalan paling laju. Aku dan Mama sering tertanya-tanya bagaimana dia punya tenaga yang banyak sedangkan ketika di rumah dia nampak kurang sihat. Tempat wajib yang pasti dituju adalah muzium-muzium seni. Sewaktu aku berusia 5 tahun, aku dibawa menikmati lukisan-lukisan tersohor Eropah. Namun waktu itu, apalah yang anak kecil ini tahu tentang Picasso, Van Gogh dan Monet. Aku akan memuncungkan mulutku tanda protes kerana aku sudah bosan dengan muzium seni. Tanpa putus asa, Abah akan menggendongku dibelakangnya untuk meneruskan perjalanan menjelajahi warisan seni dunia.

Pada tahun 1984, Abah berpeluang belajar di Turin, Italy di dalam pengurusan usahawan. Sewaktu itu Abah sempat menziarahi Peggy Guggenheim muzium di Venice. Bermula dari situlah, Abah menyimpan hasrat untuk mempunyai muzium seninya sendiri. Aku masih ingat kami sekeluarga berjalan kaki dari Central Park ke Solomon R.Guggenheim Museum di New York berbekalkan roti telur yang dimasak oleh Abah. Terakhir sekali, Abah sempat pergi ke Guggenheim Bilboa di Spain bersama-sama Mama pada tahun 2007. Sewaktu itu Abah sudah mula kurang sihat namun kerana keinginannya untuk sampai ke muzium idolanya, Abah gagahi langkahnya. Setiap kali Abah ke Guggenheim muzium, Abah pasti meluahkan impiannya. “One day, I will have my own museum”. Besar sungguh impian Abah.

Tahun demi tahun, semakin banyak hasil seni bertambah di premis kami. Ada sahaja lukisan dan arca baru dibawa pulang oleh Abah. Aku pula semakin dewasa, sudah tamat pengajian di dalam jurusan creative multimedia. Hasrat Abah untuk aku mengambil alih perniagaannya aku tolak dengan rasa berat. Padaku, biarlah aku belajar dari bawah dalam dunia perniagaan yang aku cipta bersama teman karibku kini suamiku. Alhamdullilah, Abah dan Mama menyokong penuh dengan apa yang kami usahakan. Pernah aku melihat Abah menangis melihat hasil kerjaku. Aku tersenyum bangga kerana berjaya mengusik jiwa Abah.

Awal tahun 2008, Abah sering bertanya padaku, “Bila kita nak pergi holiday dengan
E-am ( panggilan nama anakku)? Abah teringin nak pergi holiday dengan cucu”.
Aku sendiri sudah lama tidak bercuti dengan Abah dan Mama semenjak aku berkahwin. Dengan izin Allah, kami berlima berangkat ke Australia. Destinasi kami bermula dari Sydney kemudian kami memandu ke Melbourne. Berkali-kali dalam perjalanan kami ke Melbourne, Abah mengucapkan Allah HuAkbar memuji-muji kebesaran Allah di bumi asing ini. Tidak kusangka, percutian kami yang dipenuhi gelak ketawa di akhiri dengan tangisan apabila Abah diserang sakit jantung di rumah sepupuku, Fadhli Rahim di Brunswick, Melbourne. Abah koma selama 2 hari di Wad ICU di Royal Melbourne Hospital. Kami masih mengharap Abah akan pulih namun tiada apa yang dapat melawan takdir ketentuan Ilahi. Pada 12 Mac 2008 jam 740 malam waktu Melbourne, Abah menghembuskan nafas terakhirnya dengan tenang.
Masih teringat lagi Mama menceritakan padaku sebelum Abah meninggalkan rumah, didalam doa solat musafirnya, Abah berdoa “Ya Tuhanku, aku bermusafir untuk melihat kebesaranmu, Ya Allah”. Abah seumpama tahu bahawa dia akan pergi buat selama-lamanya.
Kami Redha dengan ketentuanmu, Ya Allah.

Abah,
Kami sekeluarga sangat-sangat merinduimu. Kami rindu dengan gelak tawamu. Kami rindu dengan masakanmu. Masih terlalu banyak yang belum aku pelajari daripadamu. Masih terlalu banyak cerita yang belum Abah sampaikan padaku, Namun yang pasti aku sangat mengerti dan memahami impianmu. Impianmu akan ku galas dengan penuh rasa cinta dan tanggungjawap. Damailah disana, Abah. Semoga rohmu dicucuri rahmat dan semoga segala kebaikanmu mengiringi perjalananmu.

Terasa seperti baru aku memeluk Abah dengan deraian air mata.

Abah tidak meninggalkan aku bersedihan tetapi Abah telah meninggalkan impiannya untuk ku kejar sepanjang hayatku… Inilah legasi keluarga kami.

Inilah Legasi Rahime Harun.

Kerana Cinta Aku Kembara-Los Angeles

2008-08-28T14:49:00.009+08:00

The last time I was in LA was probably in 1989 with Abah and Mama. I was 10. What do you expect, the only thing that I remember was Disneyland and my hilarious roller coster ride with Abah. Owh, the good old days...

Every time I travel, I love to experience the people, the life, and yes the food.

caption for this photo would be "Talk to the hand, I'm having my taco now"
The truth is taco is not American food. We all know its from Mexico. But I guess I'm very much influence with Chillies Restaurant back at home. By the way, what is American Food? Mc Donald? KFC? Anyone?

We commute to one place to the other by the subway/metro. Very convenient, efficient and cheap.

First stop would be...Holywood. Like all tourist, we didn't miss our chance taking photos at the Walk of Fame and some other famous spots.

Next stop was the Universal Studio, LA. Since we ve heard few reviews saying that Orlando's Universal Studio is much more bigger and better so we decided not to waste our $$ for this entrance ticket. So just amik gambar jelah. Cukup syarat kan. And don't ask me why, this man is posing this way. For those who know Pojee, knows him la kan.

So we eat, yes eat again at the Bubba Gump Shrimp Co which I know now is also available at The Curve. Thanks to Naza Group who is responsible to bring this food chain in Malaysia. So as you guys can see me with my wide smile(smpai x nampak mata) it means goood la tuh.

Next stop, Walt Disney Hall. Since I got married to Pojee, I learn to appreciate and experience the architecture of a building. So apart from food, food and art museums, significant buildings is also what we search in the foreign land.

Kerana Cinta Aku Kembara...

2008-08-25T16:30:00.004+08:00

August has been an extremely hectic month. So many things going on. Overload assignments, staff quitting their jobs and not to forget our extensive coverage for Kuala Lumpur World Marching Band Competition (KLWMBC). And yet, me and Pojee did a very brave move which we travel to the other side of the world within this crazy time of our life.

"Kerana cinta...aku kembara...." ( For the sake of love, i travel...)

At first, we were very contemplating with our decision. But when you got to go, you just got to go. I just thought that we need to move. Move on with our lives, move on with our ideas and jump outside our nice and comfy box. Enough said, decision has been made, bought our tickets, our bags are pack and we are ready to go.

The route for this trip was Malaysia-Los Angeles-Orlando-New York-Malaysia
( Yup, it s a trip around the world. And I'm very happy to claim that I've travel around the world.)
The whole trip took us almost 2 weeks(i wish its 2 months) but I can't barely leave my love of my life, my baby, my Ilham.
We left Malaysia on 7 August 2008 at 330pm.

Malaysia Airlines. Transit in Taipei. Pack flight. Maid of Honour. Ugly Betty. loads of juice.

Arrive in Los Angeles on the same day at 6pm. Pojee got stuck with the immigration for like 2 hours. Grrrr...We were told it was a random check( yeahh, rightt??). Our food stock load with chicken curry and all the goodies were stolen by the god knows what officer.

:( there my chicken goes, there she goes again ( remember that song?)

Check in Ramada Plaza Hotel, El Segundo. Good deal for USD79.

to be continue...

2008-07-14T13:28:00.003+08:00

Dear Ilham,

I promise you to give you all the love. I ll taught you like what Tok Abah & Tok Ma taught me. You ll be my hope and my shinning amour. One day, you'll make us proud. Mummy loves you very much.

Your existence makes my life complete and more meaningful. You will be me sunshine everyday, forever.

Hugs,
Mummy

Mama

2008-07-11T12:46:00.005+08:00

My love for her is beyond words. I could not find the right words to express my feelings for her. I guess that s why it took me so long a write about her.

She who i call mama, is the queen of my heart. Her love, strength and kindness that keep me being what I am. Being the only daughter and the only child left me with a greater responsibility. I know I am built to be that person for what I ve been trained for the passed 29 years and still learning. My mama is my pillar of strenght, only allah knows what I do without her...
in celebrating my love for her i decide to write about my mama. Zarina ariffin was born on 21 nov 1955 at Kota Bahru,Kelantan. I would consider her garang during my childhood years. Hey she's a scorpion, what do you expect? My mother was trained as a jewellery designer in Fine Metal, School of Art and Design, ITM (now known as UITM). That's where she met my Abah. My abah was a senior by 1 year on a different major. He was then in industrial design of the same school. I recall abah one day told me that he could still remember how sweet n petite was my mom on her first orientation week. I guess the courtship happens after that and once they graduated,they got married on December 1977. On 14 march 1979 I was born. According to mama, giving birth to me was really hard. I was born more than 9 months, kata org melayu lebih bulan. No wonder I was always over weight, over fed and overjoy.keh keh keh...

My mama broad me up with love and courage to be independent. Even though, I am the only child but I was never been pampered like what people thought. Mama would rotan me if I woke up late and if I escaped doing the house chores. At that time, we do have a maid but Mama remind me that never treat her like a maid. Mama said "You should be helping her just like your sister". My family lives in a moderate life. Since I was small, Mama taught me on how hard to earn money. She said you need to work for it. For instance, she would put a budget for my cloths say RM20 and if I want to have a cloth at RM30, I need to top up myself. So with that, I need to work. I ve done all sort of cleaning work in the workshop and I also take care of my parents shop in Central Market.

Since I was in primary school, I would share most of my stories with Mama. (Well, adalah yang PNC and tak boleh share) Mama remember all my friends since primary school until now. Mama knew who I admire and who I dislike. Mama will be my motivator, every time I feel down. I always thought that she has this extra instinct as a mother. Mana boleh tipu dia, sure dia tau. And if she said don't go then I better follow otherwise something bad might happen. Tak berkat orang kata kalau lawan cakap mak ni. It happens to me all time. I even let her know that I'm going to clubbing or going out with boys etc. So basicly, Mama knows almost everything. And for myself, I feel better talking to her. It ease my mind.

Mama have such a big heart. She always put other people first than her. Whoever who knew her, will agree with me. At times, I would argue why she s been so nice to people and as a result people take advantage of her. She said, 'Allah beri kita rezeki untuk dikongsi bersama yang lain'. So I rest my case.

Allah uji hambanya dengan pelbagai dugaan kerana hambanya ini mampu menanggung ujian itu.

Mama was diagnosed with Cancer on August 2007. It hit us and we were all in shocked. Abah was sad and I was clueless. ( i had my post on august 2007 on this issue). It took us awhile to gain our positive energy. It s been almost a year now, Mama had successfully complete her 6 session chemo, did her hajj this year with Arwah Abah, complete her oxygen therapy and have been traveling like she used to. Cancer is a disease but it s a life changing process for us. It change our view of life. Everyday, I pray that Allah panjangkan umur Mama, sembuhkan penyakitnya serta kuatkan semangat Mama untuk menghadapi dugaan yang mendatang.

For this I conclude this entry with this song...

Kau begitu sempurna
Di mataku kau begitu indah
Kau membuat diriku akan selalu memujamu

Di setiap langkahku ku kan
selalu memikirkan dirimu
Tak bisa ku bayangkan
Hidupku tanpa cintamu

Bridge:
Janganlah kau tinggalkan diriku
tak kan mampu menghadapi semua
Hanya bersamamu ku akan bisa

Coda:
Kau adalah darahku
Kau adalah jantungku
Kau adalah hidup ku lengkapi diriku oh sayang engkau begitu sempurna .. sempurna

Kau genggam tanganku saat diriku lemah dan terjatuhk au bisikkan dan hapus semua sesalku

Reff:
Kau adalah darahku
Kau adalah jantungku
Kau adalah hidup ku lengkapi diriku oh sayang engkau begitu sempurna .. sempurna
Sayangku engkau begitu sempurna.. sempurna.. sempurna..

I love you Mama.

Friend

2008-07-08T09:24:00.005+08:00

To be a friend and to have friends is one of the noblest goals for which we can aim. Friendship is complex and has many facets, but it certainly exhibits the following five attributes:

Friendship means understanding and being understood... Friendship means affirming and being affirmed... Friendship means accepting and being accepted... Friendship means helping and being helped... Friendship means forgiving and being forgiven.

-- David J. Claasen

Cheers everyone, hope you guys had a great weekend. Mine was awesome. Meeting new clients in Mid Valley and having the opportunity to show our work is a satisfying moment for me. Call me sentimental, but I cried few times while doing my editing for manggis new promo. Few times I said to myself, I love my job.It 's all worth it. And syukur, Allah give me the talent for what I do.

Anyway, I would like to write about the above subject. Not a pro in this matter but I do know what a friend means.
I define friend as a person who you can be yourself. I don't have to pretend to be what they want me to be but most of all, just BE ME. As what David J. Claasen said ' Friendship means accepting and being accepted'.

A good friend tells you right in front of your face if you did wrong. A good friend fight. A good friend will confront you if you had any miscommunication. A good friend talk heart to heart. A good friend will be there when you need them. A good friend will share all your happiest moment in life. Most of all, Friendship means forgiving and being forgiven.

Life is short to have negative energy around us

Happy Life everyone!

My poor baby E-am

2008-06-30T16:21:00.005+08:00

He had his haircut.

sigh...

hilang his charm with his freestyle hair.

uwaaaa :((

*anaknya rilex je, maknya yang overr.... anyway... uwaaaaa,,x tido malam tgk rambut e-am baru. so gonjeng!

My Manggis, My Life

2008-06-26T14:28:00.001+08:00

Updates

2008-06-14T16:23:00.002+08:00

My life been running fast lately. It seems my time is never enough. I ve been juggling with few responsibilities. My brain runs dry at times but hey no regrets. I love challenges and this is what I ask for. So Nazura, ambiklaa ko! Nak sangat cabaran...
So many things to update here. Hmm...let me start from the love of my life, Ilham aka E-am.

E-am will turn 3 this September. Whoaa..cepatnya kan... Its time to bake another little rascal, don't you guys think? OK.OK. MAKE BABY MODE:ON. How I wish its so easy kan... Ok, back to my son E-am. He is now everyday in Nursery. Thank God, he manage to fit in with his new friends. No more tears when I mention school. In fact, he would voluntarily jump of inside the car for school. So my routine will be like most working mom, sending my son to the nursery. His Toksu Jebat will pick him up from school and E-am will wait for Acu with anticipation. Like all kids(especially boys), E-am is very much into active activities. Currently, he is into football and obsess with his oyek-oyek(korek2) angkat which mean tractors. New hobby seems to be reading books. Unbelievable! It starts with me buying 1 storybook for his bedtime story. Every night Tok Ma will read for him before he go to sleep. And eventually, he starts to be demanding for us to read the story allll the time. Like wake up in the morning, cari buku. And while I'm watching TV, he would come to me and ask," Mummy, baca...". Errr...so me and my mom have read his books for more than 10 times. Both of us dah hilang idea nak goreng cerita. hahahahah...

Work. I ve been busy. I would say, my brain is the most busiest organ in my body. How I wish using brain can burn fats... I have a long list of things to do everyday and I would mark done at least half of the list and by tomorrow 1 will add another bunch of things to do. I ve been training myself to divide my time to 3 core business which is my manggis production, manggis fotografik, my family bussiness A.P Art Gallery. With the new arrangement, I am restructuring in few area. Old staff leaving and new staff coming in. New spirit of Manggis. Anyway, for those whose leaving Manggis, I wish you all the best and thank you for your service. For new staffs, I wish you Welcome to Manggis. You ve been selected to join our creative, fun and professional team. It will be a joyride of your lifetime.

In the meantime, I m trying my best to balance up work and life. I promise myself not to be so much career oriented until I forgot my family and my Allah. I want to be a better person. Better wife, better daughter, better mother and a better muslimah. Ya Allah, peliharalah imanku, solatku serta perkenankanlah doaku...

Its been 3 months since Abah left us. Rindunyaa dengan Abah...

A journal of a man I dearly love

2008-05-20T16:00:00.003+08:00

click here to view the whole journal

*all sketches were done by Rahime Harun. He got his diary where he write poems and sketch his memories.

A tribute

2008-05-16T10:37:00.007+08:00

On last 13 May 2008, an exhibition 'Cerita-cerita lain' was held at Muzium & Galeri Tuanku Fauziah, USM. A tribute for my late father Allahyarham Hj Rahime Harun was also done on the launching day. My late father had donated almost 30 pcs of his work and my mom's work to the museum last year. He also did some free lecture to the art students there. I recall my father used to say that he would not want to claim his lecture because he feels that it is his contribution to the society. At that time, I did not understand why he likes to do free job for people but after reading this:

“Apabila mati seseorang anak adam, terputuslah segala amalannya melainkan 3 perkara ; Sedekah Jariah, Ilmu Yang Bermanfaat dan Anak Yang Soleh Yang Mendoakannya”

I finally understand, Abah.

Happy Mother's Day : 11 May 2008

2008-05-08T14:10:00.007+08:00

This year is my 3rd year celebrating Mothers Day. E-am know nuts about mother s day compared to Indah. Boy i cant wait to see him make me a card or even hug me with a mother s day wishes. Or only girls being thoughful with this sort of ocassion compared to boys..hmmm.
So what i did on mother s day? I free myself frm being mummy.hehehhe.selfish eh? Owh,,,i think i deserve a little break and have fun with my girlfriends. After a little chat with sity, I later send a message to all my uni girlfriends for a girls outing at the curve. So out of many girls(dont we feel good calling ourselves girls..ooo..i like), 7 girls turn up. They are sity, aida, lin, apit,nadya and maya ( eventho u r late maya, u are still counted okk,the effort that counts) oops,not to forget our little Zara n Fayyad. Me,Sity and Aida start the day with 'what happen in vegas' movie. Romantic + comedy movie are just perfect for our girls gathering today. Then, we went to marche for food and chat. Overall i guess everyone had a great time. All went home with an extra kg. Hahahhha.... We should do this more next time girls( i mean chit chat minus the food), no matter which group or geng we are, we should meet up like this. It s a healthy soul exercise, dont u think?

My experience : Hospital

2008-05-07T11:36:00.003+08:00

For the past few years, Ampang Putri seems to be our second home. With Abah's continuous treatment and then I delivered E-am and later, Mama discovered her cancer in the same place. Even the convenient store salesgirl recognize me with a question ' So who's sick now?'.Well, anyway this entree is not to complain any party but just an experience which I would like to share with the readers. It goes something like this:

During my short stay in Royal Melbourne Hospital , I realized how much difference between our hospital and theirs. I'm not complaining about our hospital but I just thought how well sick people been treated so nice in a foreign land.
I lay down few real scenario that I ve experience in this hospital which I think is the best hospital I ever experienced.
(Please note that this hospital is just a goverment hospital in Melbourne).

Scenario 1
I would start the first scenario when my Abah had his sudden heart attack in my cousin's home at Brunswick. The first thing that connect us was the first emergency phone call that we ve made. The operator advised us to remain calm and continue with the CPR which we had started before we called them. Just within 5 or 10 minutes, we could hear the sirens. Once the paramedic reach us, then only we put down the phone with the operators.
(macam 911 programmed kan?)

Scenario 2
When the paramedic reach us, a guy named Craig introduced himself as the team manager. He immediately asked us all the infos like how it happen , his medication etc etc while the other team had started all the necessary procedure on the patient. When I looked out the door, I saw 2 ambulans with 1 fireman truck. I wonder 'eh, rumah terbakar ke ? bomba datang ni'.
Once everything ready to go, we were rushed out to go to the hospital and I remember 1 fireman cleaned up the rubbish that they have made before they left. Surprised? I AM.

Scenario 3
When we reached the hospital, all documentation runs very fast and we were attended by few personnel in the hospital. We were placed in a waiting room in the ER. The room is equip with water tap, sink and few chairs. Later, a sister named Susan came. She updated us what's going on and asked to feel comfortable in that room. We were never left there without not knowing what happen. Every 15 minutes, there were doctors and nurses came to update us. Once, everything stable, we were then moved to the ICU. Without any request, Susan came to me and gave me blankets and pillow for E-am to sleep.

Scenario 4
I, being truly Malaysian, as what we would normally do when we were admitted in our private hospital, first thought was definitely the hospital bills. There, none of them mentioned anything about bills to us. None of us asked us to make any deposit payment. Well, they did asked us wether Abah have any travelling insurans? Nope, he dont have one. And yet, they just smile and said "Don't worry about the bills Nazura, just think about your father now. We will give the best for him". I just stunned there.

Scenario 5
Every time I visited Abah, I noticed there's 1 nurse dedicated for him. Never, he was left alone. All question were answered with smile. There's no question left without an answer or 'let me asked the doctor' answer. Another thing which me and mama would never ever forget was the treatment that were given to Abah during his coma period. I recall one morning, I saw the nurse was holding a toothbrush. I wonder "nurse ni x gosok gigi ke dtg keje?". Then the nurse came to me and asked me to leave the room because she needs to clean up Abah. After 15 minutes, I came back and saw Abah so clean as if he had taken his bath. I then asked them wether do they clean up the patients once a day? The nurse answered "Nope, we do this every 4 hours in a day". I went closely near Abah and noticed that they even put lip balm on him, and not to forget a moisturiser for his eyes and face. I also noticed every 4 hours, they would reposition Abah so that he would not suffer from bed sore. When I touch Abah's feet, I noticed that his legs were padded with a special socks that circulate his blood. Besides the special socks, I realised that Abahs' mattress was also a special one which moves like a waves. Cool eh?

Scenario 6
During Abah's critical moment(nazak), the doctor came to me and asked me wether is there any special ritual things that we might need according to our religion. He then allowed us to have any visitors to visit him. Alhamdullilah, few ustaz came and did their prayer for Abah. Near the ICU, there's also a prayer room which any races can pray according to their religion.

Scenario 7
After Abah passed away, the nurse allowed me to enter the room before they took him to the morgue. The visual of that room was really something I will never forget. Abah face was cleaned and shaved. Beside his body, was a red rose. How thoughtful is that?

Scenario 8
On our last day before we transfered Abah to the Preston Mosque, I asked them again on our bills. Mark, the PR officer told us again that not to worry about that. Just go now and settle all your burial process back in Malaysia. So we just left the hospital without paying a single cent.

So with this 8 scenario, it definitely gave me a different perception on Australian people. It also change my views on how far away we are in hospitality services and facilities towards our people in Malaysia. Again, my experience in Melbourne is just in a goverment hospital, so I cant imagine if it happens in private hospital. Ntah macamanalah servisnya pulak..

Here, we pay for comfort in private hospital but yet nothing can compare the service that we received in Melbourne.

Sebagai pembuka mata dan hati betapa besarnya kuasa Allah, benarlah Allah Maha Pengasih dan Penyayang apabila Allah permudahkan urusan kami serta pelihara Arwah Abah ketika saat dia sakit dan ketika menghembuskan nafas terakhirnya di bumi asing ini.

Al-Fatihah to Tan Sri S.M Nasimuddin

2008-05-02T09:30:00.004+08:00

Al-Fatihah

Naza Group Boss, Tan Sri S.M. Nasimuddin S.M. Amin passed away early this morning while undergoing cancer treatment in the United States. He was 53 years old

The news has been confirmed with sources within Naza although details are still sketchy.

It is not known how long he has been suffering from cancer but it is common knowledge that His wife, Puan Sri Zaleha was suffering from cancer some years back andalso underwent treatment in the United States.

We are still waiting for the official Press release on the cause of death and funeral arrangements.

The Naza group of companies is one of the biggest auto-related conglomerate in the country with interests ranging from motorcycles to parallel imports to own-brand assembly.

The passing of Nasimuddin will have a major impact on the industry

taken from http://blog.autoworld.com.my

Tan Sri Nasimuddin's family is one of Manggis clients in their private family events. It is a great honor to have captured their family memories. Semoga Allah mencucuri rahmat ke atas rohnya. Al fatihah.

40 Days

2008-04-20T22:55:00.004+08:00

How fast time flies... Today mark 40 days after Arwah Abah left us. I thought I was getting over it quite well but today it just feel like saying goodbye for the second time to him. It feels the same as the first farewell that we had 40 days back in Melbourne.
I had tears all over me which I don't know why. Strange. I thought. since almost everyday I recite yassin and tahlil in front of his grave but it's exceptional for today. While reciting zikir Allahuakbar with my eyes shut, my tears falls. Today, the roof that have been protecting the grave was moved to the other as if it symbolized that he is ready to rest in peace. As what I understand from some hadis saying that in the period of 40 days, the soul will come and visit his love ones. To see wether are they praying for them and to bid the final farewell. Deep inside me, I know Arwah Abah did come and visit us. I can feel it and even had dreamt on him. I dreamt meeting him and asking him how is he. And with a gleaming smile he said that he's ok. I recall that in that dream he looks younger.
Today we did a Tahlil at the house. Alhamdullilah, almost 100 people came with doa for Arwah. I did a surprised gift for all Arwah Abah's siblings by giving them a photo journal that captured their memories from Abah's childhood days, his college years, family years, umrah and haji trips, the day that I got married, the day he had his first grandchild and the last journey that we had in Melbourne. Many of them had tears in their eyes. I had a tough time designing the journal as it took me days to finish it. Each page was design with tears and flashback memories. It s a very personal work of art.

As the days goes by, I wish I can move forward with my journey of life. But I shall not forget my dear Abah. I hope all my prayers will be his companion in his journey to meet Allah SWT.

2008-04-16T10:42:00.001+08:00

First Time Fajitas

2008-04-15T16:23:00.000+08:00

Just a quick note on my accomplishment of making chicken fajitas for the first time. It taste so good... kenapa? Tak percaya ke...

Teratak kami bagaikan bercahaya dengan kehadiran mereka

2008-04-06T11:06:00.008+08:00

Alhamdullilah, syukur...Hajat Kak Mimi & Abg Didi terlaksana sudah untuk mengadakan majlis pembacaan dan khatam al quran buat Arwah Abah. Tak terkata betapa terharunya perasaan kami sekeluarga menyambut kedatangan lebih 40 orang pelajar-pelajar tahfiz ke teratak kami. Melihat air muka semua anak-anak ini, terbayang betapa sejuknya perut ibu yang mengandung anak-anak tahfiz ini. Kami menjemput mereka di Masjid Ulu Klang selepas waktu Isyak. Melihat kelibat anak-anak yang siap memakai jubah putih berserban, sambil tersemat al quran didada mereka, aduhh...hatiku tersentuh. Alangkah baiknya kalau arwah dapat melihat mereka ini. Datang dengan niat yang suci murni buat seseorang yang mereka tidak kenali.

Ada beberapa perkara buat renungan bersama:

Sketsa 1

Setelah selesai majlis, kami menyerahkan beberapa buah tangan buat pelajar Tahfiz. Kebetulan aku terdengar perbualan mereka.

Pelajar Tahfiz 1: Eh dapat apa dlm bag tu?

Pelajar Tahfiz 2: Dapat Quran aaa...(dengan nada gembira mereka berlalu)

Terdapat banyak lagi buah tangan yang diletakkan dalam beg tu, tapi Al quran memang menarik hati mereka. Kita?

Sketsa 2

Setelah selesai majlis makan, kami menghantar mereka balik semula ke asrama. Di dalam kereta Getz Moksu:

Moksu : Korang ni semua diam-diam je ke?

Pelajar Tahfiz 1 : Banyak cakap, gelap hati kak...

No more Hugs and Kisses

2008-04-05T12:25:00.004+08:00

As some of you know 12 March now is officially my Anniversary and the Day Arwah Abah left us. And Arwah death certificate was registered on 14 March which falls on my Birthday. It was the saddest special day in my entire life. No more hugs and kisses from him. And no more "Happy Birthday, Yan".

It was so sweet of Fadhli and Ayu (my cousin in Melbourne) to bought a nice choc cake for us. But I can t stop crying thinking of how empty I will be after this.

Our Last Journey- Part 3

2008-03-28T07:24:00.001+08:00

We were then tested again wether to bring home Arwah or not. Some people in Melbourne advised us not to bring back since everywhere is the land of Allah. The documentation of the process took few days.

Berderai air mata kami lagi memikirkan jika jenazah arwah ditinggalkan dibumi yang asing ini. Tak sampai hati kami berbuat demikian. We want his generations to ziarah him and Melbourne is not near. Arwah still have mother, brothers and sisters whose waiting to see him for the last time. Arwah definitely have mama, me , pojee and e-am.

So, we decide to bring him home. It was a very tough decision but we have to go through all the process. Its our responsibility to bring him home.

Ya Allah, ampunilah dosa kami , kasihanilah kami dan janganlah kau seksa jenazah ini.

During the process of bringing Arwah back, he was placed in the Preston Mosque. Amazingly the mosque was occupied with a cold room. Even the High Commissioner in Canberra surprised by this since normally they would place the body in any parlor house, which means the body were mixed with any religions. So I thought it was a help from Allah. Allah menemukan kami dengan Ummi@Kak Aida and it leads us to meet Hj Saleem who is the President Khairat Kebajikan Victoria. Hj Saleem is the person who introduced us to Abu Mustaffa who is the person in charge for Islamic Burial Services in Victoria. We also received a very big help from Dr Ali who is the MSD in Melbourne. He guided us through all the process. The documentation process took few days to settle. Few certificate need be done to bring back the body. Kami tawakal dan berserah kepada Allah.

Niat kami pergi berlima pulang berlima. Tapi apakan daya, Allah Maha Berkuasa.

We received a call from Dr Ali who advised us to go back first since the tickets were fully booked over the week due to the F1.
Alahai, nak tinggal Abah ke?. Its ok Abah is in the mosque, sudah siap mandi dan dikafankan, kami memujuk hati. So then we took the flight on 15 Mac and with tears we left Melbourne with so many memories. Arwah will come back home on 19 March.

I later received a sms from Fadhli, "Kak Yan, dalam 70 orang datang sembahyang jenazah kat Preston Mosque". Sejuk hati kami. I again thought this is the help from Allah. 70 stranger in a foreign land came and pray for him. Alhamdullilah.

Pada kebiasaannya, kami pulang dari percutian, penuh dengan kegembiraan. Tetapi kali ini, kami pulang disambut dengan air mata tangisan. When we reached home, I saw so many familiar faces with tears. Tahlil diadakan setiap hari di rumah sejak Arwah meninggal. Tahlil juga diadakan di Balai Seni Lukis.We also did tahlil in Melbourne with Kak Aida's family and friends. Not to forget Fairuz's family who came as well. Hundreds of people prayed for Arwah. I hope all the prayers would heal Arwah and brought him home as soon as possible.

Allah Maha Pengasih dan Penyayang.

"Arwah Pakteh akan sampai pada 18 Mac di KLIA". Fadhli sms me.

Alhamdullilah, Allah percepatkan. So on 550am on 18 March, Arwah Abah reached KLIA. Proses pengebumian berjalan dengan lancar sekali. However, I was so touched looking at so many people came on that day. People from different walk of life, were there. From artist, poet, singer, actor, actress , friends in ITM, friends from Haji trip, near or far relatives were all there to give him the penghormatan terakhir.

I thanked all for being there. But most of all to be part of Rahime's life story that only you and him knows and to be remembered our whole life. A man who give so much without asking anything in return. A man who have big heart and passion in what he loves. A man who will always be missed by me.

Datang dan pergi memanglah sesuatu yang pasti. Tapi,bagi Allahyarham Rahime datangnya bertugas dan perginya berbekas.Seni dan ilmu, simpati dan dharma menjadi inti kehidupannya. Takziah, dan kepada keluarganya.Bersabarlah.-- A. SAMAD SAID.

Our last journey-Part 2

2008-03-27T17:40:00.004+08:00

10 March 08

We were panicked , stunned and it was all chaos. I knew abah had stroke by looking his physical reaction and I was standing in front of him. I saw his eyes slowly shut. I wonder if I was the last image he saw. Ayu checked Abah's pulse and she said there were none. Mama suddenly said, CPR! CPR!. None of us actually knew how to do CPR and thank god there was Ayu who is a medic student. In the meantime, Fadhli called the ambulance. As what we always watched the 911 TV programme, it happened exactly like that. The operator gave us advice on what to do and just within 10 minutes we could heard the sirens. Then only we put off the phone and the paramedic take charge. As I remembered, there were 2 ambulans, 1 paramedic car and 1 fireman were in front of the house. The paramedic manager, Craig explain us of what s the procedure and starts asking us few questions. After few procedures, abah pulse were back and we were relieved but the feeling of looking him lying motionless is unbearable. After the paramedic stabilized his pulse and heart rate, they brought him in the ambulans. Me, Pojee, E-am, Ayu and Fadhli jumped into the car and rush to the hospital leaving mama with the ambulans. We just want to reach there fast. While we were on the way there, I received a sms from Mama "Patah balik, Abah kena heart attack lagi". Masyallah.

My world turns dark.

It took us 15 minutes to go back home and once we were there the ambulans are about to move. Mama said the pulse is stabilized again. I know Abah is fighting. He is a strong man. He is my hero.

When we reached Royal Melbourne Hospital, we were put on waiting in the waiting room near the ER. An ER doctor came to us and explain what happen. I could never forget the word he said " He had a massive heart attack and most of the patients who experience this wont survive". Allahu Akbar. We tried to console our heart saying that Abah is a strong man, he will fight and he will not gave up.

After few hours waiting there, the ER doctor told us that he will be placed Abah in ICU. A doctor from the ICU greet and explain us again of what had happened. We were very well informed of whats going on.

Abah was transfered to ICU on the same night. Once he was all prepared, we were allowed to see him. Abah was placed in a special room in the ICU. Isolated from the rest and he was attached with a huge machine behind him. I saw few rack of drugs and tube attached to his veins. Apalah yang terdaya lagi untuk kami lakukan hanya berdoa kepada Allah.

11 March 08

We slept at the waiting room near the ICU. It was a long night. Sleepless night. Mama tak henti-henti berzikir. Al Fatihah was on my lips all the time. Doctors were walking in and out from the ICU. It looks like my fav series "House", where few doctors will work as a team and brainstorm of what to do next. We then were called in a private room and were introduced to few people. One of them is Mark. He is the person who will be helping us and act as a middle person. I would say he is the PR of this situation. Then there's another doctor who explain us the situation again and what were their expectations. It was more on waiting game. They would like to see if Abah is responding today. And again the word of "not survived bang on our head".
The doctor advised us to expect the worst since Abah brain did not received enough oxygen and therefor the are high possibility of a brain damage. How bad it is, they can only tell by his responds later.

So we wait for miracles to happen. Nobody knows how hard was the feeling at time. We were crying high and low. Dont know what to do. We are a strangers in a foreign land. No familiar faces, no friends to talk to and no family to lend a shoulder.
It was tough. Ya Allah ya tuhanku, kuatnya dugaanmu ini.

On Allah will, we received a visitor named Kak Aida or most people call her Ummi. She's a johorian who lived in Melbourne for more that 35 years. Her presence is like an angel to us. She brought few Malaysian and Singaporean to visit us and Abah in ICU. Totally strangers came and pray for Abah. The news spread and we received lots of Malaysian students and even sms praying for him.

As only two person allowed to be inside the room, we took turns to be with Abah. I still can remember the time I touch his hand, kiss his forehead and pray Ashadu allah ilahhai allah on his ears. Sayangnya abah...
I asked the nurse if he could listened me, she said they wouldnt know...but it helps if you could talk to him.

While reciting Yassin, I hold his hand gently and prayed that he could just moved his finger. But there s still no responds.

At times when I'm alone with him, I would talk to him how much I love him. How he is so special in my heart. I told him that he has been a great father and I could never asked for more. He gave me so much joy and happiness being the daughter of Rahime. I'm proud to have him as my father. and I love him so dearly... Deep inside my heart, I know I will loose him.

His life support is helping him well breathing. But he is in a coma state. And waiting is what we do. Sabar itu separuh daripada iman...

12 March 08

The doctor and nurses advice us to have a proper sleep at home and take a good rest. So we did. It was still a sleepless night but i did my zikir until i fall asleep. Suddenly, I heard a phone rang. My heart stopped when the caller told me "Ms Nazura, we would advise you to come over to the ICU. Your father's situation is not good". Me and my mom rushed over to the hospital. When we reached there, the doctor explained to us the situation. It seems that abah had another heart attack whereby without any sign the heart just stopped. The doctor said that its unfair to the body if they keep on doing the CPR and all other rescue procedures since he had gone through so much. So what they did was, they would let him go gradually without doing anything. If he recover, he would recover naturally without anymore drugs support and if he would go, then he would go naturally when the time comes.

I shook my head and tried to digest all the words that came from the doctor. It was hard. All of us cried. "Ya Allah, kuatkanlah semangat kami untuk mengharungi dugaanmu ini".

So we started calling family and friends updating the situation. It was the hardest phone call I ever make to all my aunties, uncles and Abah's friends. A lot of people broke down hoping to see him for the last time.

Kepadanya kita datang dan kepadanya kita dikembalikan.

Around 7:45pm (Melbourne time), Allah datang menjemput Abah dan dia menyambutnya dengan penuh ketenangan. Kami dengan redha menerima ketentuan Allah ini. Muka Arwah Abah bersih dan berseri-seri...takkan kami lupa wajah itu sehingga akhir hayat kami.

Damailah Abah disana...Satu hari nanti, jika diizikan Allah, kita pasti akan bersua jua.

Our last journey-Part 1

2008-03-27T07:13:00.022+08:00

Sometimes when I'm all alone, I always had this flashback memories on how our last journey with arwah. Thinking of how excited he was when I said I bought a ticket to Sydney during last MAS Travel Fair. I didnt asked him much like when you want to go etc etc, cause all that I know he wants to go travelling. He always said that when he travels, he feels much alive and he will feel better. When I was small and before I got married, I used to travel with my parents all the time. They would tag me along for their backpack trip to anywhere in the world. After few years of not travelling with my parents, I thought hey why not we go all together for a vacation. So Australia is the country or I must said Allah choose for us. The trip was from KLIA-Sydney-Melbourne-KLIA.This trip was Arwah Abah's second trip while it was our first.

I remember almost everyday, Arwah would asked me "Yan, bila kita nak pegi ni yan?Abah tak sabar nak jalan ngan e-am.." He would browse the internet all day long searching for place to stay, where to go etc etc. So everything set and on 4 March 08, we off to Sydney. And I guess on that day, was the last day he leaves our house in Taman Melawati with his last solat Mussafir. My mother recall on his doa, he pray that Allah take care of his house, harta and family. The final word of the doa was "Aku bermussafir untuk melihat kebesaranmu, Ya Allah".

We spend 4 days in Sydney and stayed in Oaks Apartment, Darling Habour. It was a good location, nice 2 rooms apartment attached with a kitchen and with a good view of Sydney city centre. It was the fanciest place I ever stayed with my parents since all this while we would go backpack and find the cheapest hotel to stay or safe cost by sleeping in a train.(owh, those are my best memories)

Me and Pojee were quite occupied entertaining E-am. We brought him to Sydney Aquarium and Wildlife. Arwah didnt want to followed us but he took his sweet time with my mom to the market. All we knew was, the food was ready when we were back. From kari ikan, sambal ikan, nasi goreng,meehoon goreng to semua yang boleh, arwah masakkan. It was more to rest and relax holiday. This seldom happened as I remembered Arwah Abah would drag me to all sorts of museum and art galleries.

From Sydney, we planned to visit my cousin in Melbourne. My cousin, Fadhli just got married last December with Ayu whom is a medic student there. I gave few options on how would we travelled there. Either by plane which is faster, or by train or by car, slower but you can enjoy the scenery. Abah obviously choose by land. We normally travelled by train but since Pojee enjoy driving so we decided to rent a car. There are two ways of driving to Melbourne. One is by Hume highway, which is faster or the princess highway(pacific ocean) which is slower but you can enjoy the pacific ocean view along the way. Me and my mom was keen on hume highway so we could reach Melbourne faster and spend more time there but on the other hand Arwah Abah and Pojee decide to use princess highway to view the scenery. Without much argument, we followed suit.

It was a longg way. We travelled for 1100km.It took us 2 days to reach Melbourne with a lot of stops and we slept in a Motel in Canns River. The view was Masyallah, so beautifull. Arwah Abah keep on praising Allahu Akbar when he saw how blue was the sky and how beautiful the scenery was.

Once we arrived Melbourne, we straight away went to the Art and Craft Market in St Kilda. Arwah Abah bought a ceramic plate for the house. I had a tough time controlling E-am excitement at that time. We then had our dinner in my cousins house in Brunswick.

On 10 March 08(Monday), we saw on the TV there was a parade in the city. We packed and straight away went there. It was extremely hot on that day. It was 42 celcius.
Arwah didnt complained much except for the hot weather. E-am was all excited to watch the parade. Not knowing this would be our last photo, we took a photo in Melbourne Bridge.

After few hours there, we went back and drop by at Coles to buy some groceries. Arwah Abah bought fish and chicken. I on the other hand got all excited when I saw so many good stuff in K mart. Arwah Abah, Fadhli and Ayu went back home first to prepare the meal. Arwah Abah last sms to me was "U all kat mana?". After had my last minute shopping(since we re leaving tomorrow), we all rushed back home to eat. When we reached home, we saw him relaxing near the couch with Fadhli while watching TV. On the table was Chicken Curry. Yummy! Abah's chicken curry never fails me. Apparently, it was the last meal he cooked for us.

We were all starving and start eating his curry . The last word that I heard from his was "Abah nak pegi semayang jap". A minute after that we all heard the loud sound. It was Arwah Abah lying down.

Allahu Akbar, selamatkanlah hambamu ini...kasihanilah dia...

to be continued...

**Please excuse my improper grammar/spelling. This story was written without any editing before its been published.

Segalanya aku adalah dirimu

2008-03-23T17:15:00.003+08:00

Jika kau matahari
Akulah cahayanya
Jika kau bulan
Akulah sinar samarnya
Jika kau air
Akulah ombaknya
Jika aku awan
Kaulah angin yang menolaknya

Melihatmu adalah melihatku
Senyumanmu adalah senyumanku
Rupa dan jiwamu adalah aku
Segalanya aku adalah dirimu

Abah, doakanlah
agar aku jadi pohon yang berguna
Kalau berbuah yang enak, maka makanlah
Jika aku jadi pohon bunga yang indah dan harum bunga itu
Hiaslah dihatimu,
dan ciumlah bunga itu,
Jika aku jadi pohon yang rendang,
berteduhlah disitu.

nukilan,
Nazura Rahime
April 2000

***this poem was transferred to a digital poetry and was presented in E-Poetry Festival, Buffalo, New York in year 2001. During at that time, I was presenting my final year project in front of huge crowd and received a thunderous applause by the audience. My father was the main person who believes me with this new idea at that time. We spend a lot of time talking and having crits along the making of this project. I remember when the project was completed, he was so proud that he would watch over and over again in front of his pc. He even called his close friends to view it. Eventhough I got a C for this work, the feeling of making him proud was all worth it.

will keep on posting the digital artwork.

My life is put on hold

2008-03-23T10:13:00.003+08:00

Yes, my life is put on hold. I'm just here in one static points.I can only dream of the past and imagine the future. All memories keep on flashing through my mind. Its like a flash card, full of scattered visual of my late father. It's tough to overcome the feeling of loosing HIM. At times, I'm glad that all his pain and suffer is finally ended and at times I just wish he could just live another 20 years. I miss my Abah. I miss him so dearly. I miss his smile, his laughter, his silly jokes and most of all missing a part of me. Abah, segalanya aku adalah dirimu. My life is just not complete without him.

*how can i restart again my life?

Champion of the arts-The Star, 23 March 2008

2008-03-23T10:06:00.002+08:00

Rahime Harun 1954-2008

Champion of the arts
By OOI KOK CHUEN
starmag-feedback@thestar.com.my

Around 1993, I asked Rahime Harun in jest when he was getting his gleaming new Mercs. He laughed off the suggestion, preferring to plough his money back into Malaysian art, which he boasted was one of the finest.

At the time, he had just acquired a three-storey building for his art gallery and promotion business in Taman Melawati, Kuala Lumpur, and already owned the AP Gallery outlet at Central Market in KL.

Rahime, art entrepreneur extraordinaire, art administrator, printmaker-artist, and writer, died suddenly of a heart attack while in Melbourne on March 11, leaving behind wife Zarina Ariffin and daughter Nazura Zahian.

At the height of the 1985 recession which blighted several art galleries in KL, Rahime was smart enough to switch to more saleable smaller works and prints, his core money-spinner.

At that time, sculptors Raja Shahriman Raja Azzidin and Mad Annuar Ismail, printmaker Juhari Muhammad Said, and a loose group of newly graduated artists from the then Mara Institute of Technology (ITM) who called themselves Matahati had burst onto the scene, startling even stalwarts like Datuk Syed Ahmad Jamal (then National Art Gallery director), who was more used to the halus (fine) Malay sensibilities.

Matahati’s Bayu Utomo Radjikin, Ahmad Shukri Mohd, Ahmad Fuad Osman, Masnoor Ramli Mahmud and Hamir Soib (and original member and photographer Soraya Talismail) are now big names, and it’s no coincidence that the Matahati group is currently having unprecedented simultaneous exhibitions at four venues, including the main one at Galeri Petronas.

Rahime was one of the main patrons of this group, and continued picking up choice works to ensure an unbroken story of their career paths.

Also, through prints of these works, and those of many other college-trained artists. he advocated a greater appreciation of Malaysian art and its display in public and private spaces of various buildings.

In an interview with him in 1995, he confided his formula for collecting art: U (Unique) + A2 (Aesthetics and Assimilation) = Value.

It is his largesse of significant cultural assets, for that is what his art collection is, that should find a proper home, especially as they are still on loan to Malacca museums.

Some of these works were displayed in the eye-opening two-parter, In Pursuit of A Dream at Galeri Petronas, then at Dayabumi, in 1995.

Penang-born Rahime (he had a twin brother who died a few years ago) started as an acting curator at the National Art Gallery before he quit in 1983 after nearly eight years to set up his business called AP (simply Art Promoters) with his first outlet at the Kuala Lumpur Hilton, then at Jalan Sultan Ismail.

A graduate in Industrial Design from ITM (1972-76), he had also worked as designer at Kraftangan Malaysia and a display executive at Metrojaya.

He was also an important figure in the Anak Alam interdisciplinary arts commune dominated by Mustapha Ibrahim and Abdul Latiff Mohidin, with live-in artists like K. Thangarajoo.

His passion is matched by a determination to improve himself in related fields to serve art better. In 1984, he got a scholarship to do a Diploma in Entrepreneurship Development (Art Business) in Turin, Italy, and in 1995, he was back at UiTM (as ITM is now called) for his Master of Art and Design Education in tandem with Britain’s Montfort University.

He also became more involved as an artist in his own right, mainly as a printmaker, and has taken part in at least two dozen group exhibitions.

As director of the Shah Alam Art Gallery from 1997 to 2001, he organised several important thematic exhibitions but despite all his accomplilshments, he had a persistent and underlying desire to return to the National Art Gallery, especially now that he was greatly fortified with greater expertise and experience.

Return he did, as the gallery’s director in 2005, but health reasons forced him to quit even before the year was out and before he could implement his five-year plan.

Many may still see Rahime as a highly competent art business entrepreneur and administrator. But it is the work he did which had no labels, such as organising arts orientation tours for ministry top brass, pushing his ideas in policy groups and other forums like the Arts Council, that characterises him best.

He was always trying to reinvent the work and thinking module, working well behind the scenes, never mind that others were not on the same wavelength or had the same dream.

Rahime Harun’s death is the loss of a passionate champion of Malaysian culture.

2008-03-21T10:11:00.002+08:00

Mak Chak : Yan, banyakkan doa untuk Abah ye
Yan : Ya, Mak Chak
Mak Chak : Doa seorang anak akan sampai terus pada arwah. Kira macam ekspres laa...
Yan : ........

*Mak Chak : panggilan nama untuk Mak Long bagi keluarga kami

Beliau yang bernama Rahime-Utusan Malaysia, 20 Mac 2008

2008-03-20T09:53:00.000+08:00

Beliau yang bernama Rahime
Bersama Azman IsmaIl (adik1102@yahoo.com)

“LAKSANA ombak yang melaju ke pantai berpasir. Minit demi minit bergerak menuju kehancuran. Semuanya bertukar tempat dengan pendahulu,” tulis dramatis agung, William Shakespeare.

Bagi Shakespeare, manusia di muka bumi adalah sebahagian daripada sebuah proses perjalanan waktu yang kesemuanya akan berakhir dengan kematian. Oleh itu, dunia hanyalah sebuah pentas opera dan makhluk-makhluknya merupakan para pelakon.

Proses perjalanan waktu meletakkan manusia dalam satu kemustahilan. Sebagaimana ungkapan Shakespeare, kita tidak mungkin membalik waktu yang tidak hanya berlaku untuk makhluk-makhluk hidup.

Bukan hanya manusia, tapi bintang-bintang dan galaksi juga dilahirkan dan mengalami kematian - sebuah titik akhir kepada sistem jagat raya.

Proses kehidupan dan kematian berlaku untuk semua aspek tapi bukan hanya dalam makna yang negatif. Berdampingan dengan kematian, hadirlah kehidupan, dan kewujudan sistem antara titik permulaan dan akhir tersebut.

Tanpa kematian, kehidupan itu sendiri tidak mungkin wujud. Kita dari alam dan akan kembali ke alam. Manusia memahami bahawa sebagai makhluk mereka akan menemui kematian di hujung waktu kehidupan yang mereka tempuh.

Para pemikir Greek kuno seperti Heraclitus (pengasas aliran dilektik) mengemukakan pandangan bahawa sesuatu tidak akan hadir tanpa kehadiran yang lain.

Kedua-dua elemen tersebut saling menentukan, saling membatasi dan saling mendefinisikan. Ini kerana ruang dan waktu adalah kesatuan daripada unsur-unsur yang paling asas, manakala manusia adalah kayu ukurnya.

“Mustahil kita menciptakan atau memusnahkan perjalanan antara dua titik awal dan akhir. Sama seperti waktu, yang tidak dapat dimulai dan tidak dapat dihentikan; kerana tidak mungkin ada ‘sebelum’ dan ‘sesudah’,” tulis Aristotles.

Pelukis dan Bekas Ketua Pengarah Balai Seni Lukis Negara (BSLN), Rahime Harun adalah sebahagian proses perubahan waktu dan perjalanan antara titik mula dan titik akhir tersebut.

Pada 12 Mac lalu Allahyarham kembali ke Rahmatullah di Melbourne Hospital, Melbourne, Australia kerana serangan jantung, sesuatu yang sememangnya tidak pernah diduga oleh kita.

Namun, perjalanan awal dan akhir adalah realiti yang tidak boleh ditolak oleh sesiapa pun dan proses itu akan terus berlangsung tanpa henti walaupun sedetik (meminjam pendapat Aristotles).

Sebagai seorang pelukis dan printmaker, Rahime memberi sumbangan besar dalam kembaranya antara dua titik tersebut. Beliau pernah mengambil bahagian dalam lebih dari 30 buah pameran di tanah air dan luar negara.

Ia bermula sejak Pameran Seni & Reka di Shah Alam pada tahun 1976 dan Anak Alam pada tahun 1983. Sejak itu Allahyarham tidak menoleh ke belakang lagi. Pengembaraan seninya melangkah hingga ke Bangkok, Seoul, Hanoi, Jogjakarta, Mexico dan London.

Sementara

Namun, seperti ungkapan Micheal Foucault dalam tulisannya pada 1966, manusia hanyalah penemuan sementara dan akan musnah seperti wajah yang dilukiskan pada permukaan pasir.

Sama seperti makhluk-makhluk lain, Rahime juga merupakan sebahagian daripada kesementaraan tersebut atau oleh Aristotles disebut sebagai mencapai titik akhir daripada perubahan waktu.

Kesementaraan itu ditafsirkan oleh Immanuel Kant sebagai hakikat fenomena hakikat waktu dan ruang yang saling melengkapi atau turut dikenali sebagai gejala realiti.

Dalam bukunya The Critique of Pure Reason, Kant melontarkan pendapat bahawa ruang dan waktu adalah sebuah sistem yang melengkapi titik permulaan dan titik akhir kepada kehidupan makhluk di muka bumi.

Bagi Kant, proses perjalanan antara dua titik tersebut (berasaskan kepada pemikiran logik dan kebenaran empiris) penuh dengan unsur-unsur kontradiksi - sesuatu yang dikupas dengan lengkap oleh Frederich Hegel dalam bukunya The Science of Logic.

Perjalanan Allahyarham Rahime antara kedua-dua titik tersebut adalah sebuah pertembungan kontradiksi- kontradiksi tersebut. Empirisisme dan pemikirannya berjaya melahirkan sesuatu yang sangat berharga kepada dunia seni tanah air.

Memang, kehilangan seorang pelukis di negara mana pun tidak pernah mendapat penghormatan kenegaraan. Tidak akan ada kibaran bendera separuh tiang atau tembakan meriam.

Setidak-tidaknya, Allahyarham meninggalkan legasi seni yang besar dan layak dikenang oleh seluruh rakyat negara ini. Namun, seni tidak pernah berada di kedudukan paling tinggi dalam sesebuah negara bangsa.

Mungkin metafora dalam sebaris baris puisi penyair legenda Britain, Alexander Pope, Elegy to the Memory of an Unfortunate Lady (1717) cukup menarik untuk melihat perjalanan Allahyarham;

Alam dan seluruh hukumnya tersembunyi di kegelapan.

Alhamdullilah, Arwah Abah is back home

2008-03-19T09:52:00.006+08:00

Assalamualaikum,

Pada 18 Mac 2008, jam 11 pagi, jenazah Hj Rahime Harun telah selamat disemadikan di Tanah Perkuburan Klang Gate, Ulu Klang. Alhamdullilah, dengan keizinan Allah segala proses telah berjalan dengan lancar.

Terharu, sedih, lega dapat kurasai di lubuk hati apabila melihat ramai yang datang untuk memberikan penghormatan terakhir buat Arwah. Pelbagai golongan hadir di kalangan pelukis, penyajak, art collector, pelakon, penyanyi, pengajar, pelajar, saudara mara dan teman teman rapat usah dikata, sememangnya sentiasa ada di sini selama 7 hari. Tak terucap kata terima kasih, hanya doa kami mengiringi agar Allah merahmati kehidupan kalian.

Malam semalam, terasa Abah mengucupi pipiku sewaktu aku tidur. Teringat sewaktu aku kecil, bila Abah pulang lewat dia akan masuk ke bilik ku dan membetulkan selimutku dan mengucupi pipiku. Aku sememangnya sedar tapi pura-pura tidur, malu.

credit photo by http://blog.zulkhas.com

Bekas Ketua Pengarah Balai Seni Lukis Negara meninggal - Berita Harian, 17 Mac 2008

2008-03-17T09:06:00.004+08:00

Some write up on my late father, Haji Rahime Harun.

KUALA LUMPUR: Bekas Ketua Pengarah Balai Seni Lukis Negara (BSLN), Rahime Harun, (gambar) 54, meninggal dunia di Melbourne, Australia, Rabu lalu selepas diserang sakit jantung sewaktu sedang bercuti bersama isteri, anak, menantu dan cucunya.

Anak perempuannya, Nazura Zahian, 29, berkata bapanya diserang sakit jantung sehari sebelum mereka sepatutnya pulang dan akibat serangan itu mereka sekeluarga membawa beliau ke Royal Melbourne Hospital untuk mendapatkan rawatan.

"Bapa ditempatkan selama dua hari di Unit Rawatan Rapi sebelum menghembuskan nafas terakhirnya pada jam 7.25 petang waktu Melbourne," katanya sewaktu dihubungi di sini, semalam.

Jenazah Rahime yang sudah dimandi dan dikafankan dan kini ditempatkan di Masjid Preston, dijangka tiba di Lapangan Terbang Antarabangsa Kuala Lumpur (KLIA) jam 5.30 pagi Rabu ini untuk dikebumikan di Tanah Perkuburan Islam Klang Gate, di sini sebelum zuhur

Nazura Zahian berkata, bagaimanapun pihaknya dan sepupunya, Fadhli Rahim, anak kepada kembar Rahime, Rahim Harun, yang juga meninggal dunia kerana penyakit sama dan tinggal di sana sedang berurusan dengan beberapa pihak di Melbourne supaya jenazah dapat tiba lebih awal iaitu Selasa ini.

Rahime meninggalkan seorang balu, Zarina Ariffin; Nazura Zahian; menantu Mohd Fauzi Nasir dan cucu, Ilham Fannani, 2 setengah tahun.

Nazura Zahian berkata, arwah bapanya tidak menunjukkan sebarang tanda sebelum ini walaupun sebelum berangkat ke Makkah untuk menunaikan Haji pada musim lalu beliau diserang angin ahmar ringan.

"Bapa nampak gembira sewaktu di Melbourne dan sebelum diserang sakit jantung beliau sempat memasak kari ayam untuk kami sekeluarga yang pada waktu itu berada di rumah Fadhli kerana bapa memang suka memasak.

"Pada sebelah petang ketika hendak menunaikan sembahyang Asar beliau diserang sakit jantung menyebabkan kami membawanya ke hospital dan saya bersyukur kerana pihak paramedik di sana cepat bertindak.

"Mak ada berkata, sewaktu beliau dan bapa sembahyang musafir sebelum berlepas ke Melbourne, dalam doanya bapa ada menyebut 'bahawa aku bermusafir untuk melihat kebesaranMu' dan sewaktu berjalan-jalan dan melihat pemandangan yang cantik di sana bapa banyak kali memuji keindahan alam ciptaan Tuhan," katanya yang pulang bersama keluarga kelmarin.

Katanya, mereka terpaksa pulang awal atas nasihat pihak Penerbangan Malaysia kerana pada masa ini sedang berlangsung perlumbaan Formula Satu di Melbourne, dan segala urusan membawa pulang jenazah dilakukan Fadhli.

Rahime yang sebelum bertugas di BSLN bertindak sebagai Pengarah di Galeri Shah Alam adalah antara seorang pengumpul yang cukup dikenali di kalangan komuniti pelukis di negara ini.

Beliau yang dilahirkan di Pulau Pinang dan mendapat pendidikan dalam bidang rekaan industri di Institut Teknologi Mara dan Sarjana Pendidikan Seni dan Rekaan di De Monfort University adalah penggerak pemasaran lukisan di negara ini.

Rahime banyak menyumbang kepada perkembangan seni tampak negara dan idea beliau memasarkan karya pelukis Malaysia ke hotel-hotel, pejabat kedutaan dan pelancong memberi nafas baru kepada pemasaran lukisan di negara yang ini yang sebelum ini agak malap.

Most beautiful memories

2008-03-14T08:49:00.003+08:00

Just to share our most beautiful memories in the name of Allah.We make our journey together.Here it goes:

Before we left for Melbourne,Abah had his solat sunat Mussafir and in his doa he said:

Ya Allah ya tuhanku, Aku bermusafir kerana ingin melihat kebesaranmu, Ya Allah.

And along our journey he keep on praising AllahuAkbar when he saw the skies, the mountain, the landscape and the stars.

Hj Rahime Harun , a man who live his life to the fullest.

Articles in Kakiseni.com by Dr Zulkifli Mohamad

2008-03-14T08:39:00.003+08:00

Dear friends,

Dr Zulkifli wrote an article in kakiseni.com.

Rahime Harun: 1954 - 2008 by Dr. Zulkifli Mohamad

Rahime Harun dilahirkan kembar di Georgetown, Pulau Pinang pada 29 September 1954. Allahyarham mendapat pendidikan sekolah rendah dan menengah di Sekolah Saint Mark, Butterworth, Pulau Pinang dan Sekolah Menengah Georgetown, Pulau Pinang. Beliau menyambung pelajaran di Institut Teknologi MARA (ITM) pada tahun 1972 dan menjadi graduan Bachelor of Arts dalam bidang Industrial Design pada tahun 1976. Beliau pernah berkerja sebagai Pereka Muda di Paul Corley Kadar Associates, Pereka di Lembaga Kraftangan Malaysia, Display Executive di Metrojaya, dan Pemangku Kurator di Balai Seni Lukis Negara (BSLN) di antara tahun 1976 dan tahun 1983.

Allahyarham mengambil keputusan untuk menyambung pelajaran di dalam Diploma Entrepreneurship Development (Art Business) di ILO, Turin, Italy, dengan menerima biasiswa daripada Jabatan Perdana Menteri pada tahun 1984. Beliau kemudiannya menubuhkan galeri persendirian, A.P Gallery, bersama isterinya, Puan Zarina Ariffin, apabila Melewar Corporation membaikpulih bangunan Central Market menjadi Pasar Seni pada tahun 1985.

Sebagai seorang printmaker, Rahime pernah mengambil bahagian dalam lebih dari 30 buah pameran di Malaysia dan luar negara, bermula dari Pameran Seni & Reka di Shah Alam pada tahun 1976 dan Anak Alam pada tahun 1983 hinggalah ke Bangkok, Seoul, Hanoi, Jogjakarta, Mexico dan London pada tahun 1996. Pameran Self-Portraitnya AKU, yang dikuratorkan oleh J.Anu, pernah diadakan di Galeri Petronas, Kuala Lumpur pada tahun 1999. Sebagai seorang rakan kongsi sebuah galeri pula, Rahime sudah pernah menganjurkan hampir 70 buah pameran seni rupa di Malaysia dan di United Kingdom, yang memaparkan hasil karya seniman-seniman terkenal Malaysia termasuk O.Don Eric Peris, Ahmad Khalid Yusoff, Sharifah Fatimah Zubir, Ismail Ab.Latif, Raja Azhar, Khalil Ibrahim, Wong Kim Chin, Rudolf G.Usman serta Kumpulan Matahati.

Beliau kembali ke menara gading pada tahun 1995 untuk menyambung pengajian ke peringkat Master of Art and Design Education di bawah De Monfort University, United Kingdom dan Universiti Teknologi MARA.

Allahyarham Rahime Harun, sebagai seorang seniman sekaligus pencinta seni rupa, bukan hanya aktif mengurus, menulis dan memberikan syarahan tentang seni rupa dan pengurusannya, tetapi beliau juga merupakan seorang kolektor seni rupa yang aktif dan disegani ramai. Kredibilitinya sebagai seorang pejuang seni di Malaysia telah menempatkan dirinya sebagai juri pertandingan-pertandingan seni rupa, termasuk Bakat Muda, Balai Seni Lukis Negara dan Open Show, Galeri Shah Alam sejak tahun 1983.

Semangat “Anak Alam”nya yang memperjuangkan seni di Malaysia, menyaksikan beliau bergiat aktif dalam banyak persatuan semasa hayatnya, termasuk Persatuan Pelukis Malaysia, International Artists Association, Angkatan Pelukis Semenanjung, Ahli Seumur Hidup Penulis Nasional(PENA) serta penasihat Angkatan Karyawan Aktif Kuala Lumpur(ANGKA) yang bergiat dalam bidang teater. Sebagai seorang yang banyak mempunyai pengalaman di dalam bidang seni, Allahyarham Rahime Harun, tidak pernah jemu untuk memberikan galakan dan dorongan kepada seniman-seniman muda untuk terus berjuang menegakkan seni.

Rahime juga pernah berkhidmat sebagai Pengarah Galeri Shah Alam dan Selangor Art Foundation antara tahun 1997-2001. Beliau terpaksa berundur dari jawatan Ketua Pengarah di BSLN pada tahun 2005 kerana sebab-sebab kesihatan yang tidak mengizinkan. Pun begitu allahyarham tidak boleh tidak untuk menghadiri pameran-pameran seni rupa serta persembahan-persembahan teater dan sempat menganggotai penubuhan awal Majlis Seni Malaysia.

Terakhir, kita sempat menyaksikan rakaman video beliau berbicara tentang kumpulan seniman Matahati yang ditayangkan di Pembukaan Pameran Matahati di Galeri Petronas pada hari Isnin 10 Mac 2008 lalu. Beliau dikatakan sebagai orang penting di dalam penubuhan awal kumpulan tersebut.

Rahime Harun, seniman dan pejuang seni Bangsa Malaysia, telah diserang sakit jantung semasa berada di Melbourne, pada 11 Mac 2008 dan beliau diberitakan kembali ke rahmatullah pada jam 4.45 petang, 12hb Mac 2008 di Melbourne Hospital, Melbourne, Australia. Sesungguhnya kita telah kehilangan sebutir lagi bintang yang menyuluh dunia seni rupa kita.

Semuga rohnya dicucuri rahmat. Salam takziah dipanjatkan kepada balu allahyarham, Puan Zarina Ariffin dan anak tercinta serta seluruh ahli keluarga. Al-Fatihah.

**Updated
Jenazah Allahyarham Rahime Harun yang bakal tiba di Kuala Lumpur International Airport, Sepang pada 18 Mac 2008 akan dibawa ke kediamannya di Taman Melawati, Kuala Lumpur.
~
Zulkifli Mohamad lectures on dance theatre, traditional theatre, arts management, and visual arts at University Malaya.

Rahime, this is your time

2008-03-14T08:31:00.002+08:00

rahime, this is your time

it’s been more than 40 days since i played my pretend-to-be-artist game. this is terrible. i can’t sleep properly, i can’t stand all these movies any more and there’s no background music in my life. worse, i’m broke. i've rebooted onto a desktop with no software.

words recurring on the tube since the ‘tsunami’: diterjemahkan, rakyat, wakil, dan lain-lain, post-mortem, terkejut, muhasabah, janji, harga, polarisasi, melihat, (among others)
are artists represented? words like catan, karya, pelukis, seni lukis, berus, kanvas, pengajian seni tampak, kurikulum seni lukis, buku teks kbsr seni lukis, never made it.

meanwhile, dio is performing in the background NOW

Right now it seems
You're only dreams and shadows
If wishes could be
eagles how you'd fly

This is your life
This is your time
What if the flame
won't last forever
This is your here
This is your now
Let it be magical

Rahime Harun passed away today in Melbourne.

thanks for helping me keep the spirit in more ways than all.

taken from http://subterran.blogspot.com

Dear RS,
Thank you for the beautiful poem dear RS.I'm sure my father is smiling proudly now.

Al Fatihah

2008-03-13T13:43:00.002+08:00

Al Fatihah

Pada 12 March 2008, jam 7:25(waktu melbourne)(4:25 ptg-waktu Malaysia), bapa saya yang dikasihi, Rahime Harun telah menghembuskan nafas terakhirnya di Wad ICU, Royal Melbourne Hospital, Australia. Alhamdullilah,he died peacefully beside my mom.
Jenazah akan dibawa pulang ke Malaysia dan insyallah akan dikebumikan di Tanah Perkuburan Klang Gate, Tmn Melawati. Tarikh kepulangan kami masih belum dapat ditetapka n lagi kerana proses dokumen yang perlu kami lalui di Melbourne agak rumit.
Doakanlah kami cepat sampai ke Malaysia dan segala urusan dapat dipermudahkan. I really want to go home. Kami pergi ke Australia berlima dan kami akan pulang berlima, insyallah.

I will update from time to time.
If anyone wants any new update do call my house at 41077686 or 41062963(manggis ofis).

Insyallah, when I find the courage to write, I will write about The Man who lives his life to the Fullest, Rahime Harun. Banyak pengalaman2 indah yang terakhir untuk diceritakan kepada kalian.

Doakan kami cepat pulang.

Abah, segalanya aku adalah dirimu.

Updates

2008-01-22T01:15:00.000+08:00

Alhamdullilah my parents selamat sampai mengerjakan haji. Such a great relief to see them back again. (Hmmm..what I ll do without them?) Me and my mom have so many story to share. Her experience and what happen while she s away. Mama looks great. She's stronger that what I think she is. Abah is officially OKU ( he annouced last week). heheheh...Due to his minor stroke, he lost 1 side of his hearing and made us raise our volume everytime we talk to him. So from now on, I ll get use to high volume from the tv. And another thing, I think Abah is the cutest atok with his OKU status.

Abah, segalanya aku adalah dirimu.

Madness in Manggis

2008-01-22T00:55:00.000+08:00

New Year. New Challenge. New Madness!

Now is approx 1 am. Our office are just like 1pm. All the hardcore editor is here. Trying our level best to deliver the maximum wedding dvd that we can before our short break. The editing que board is full of scribble. Job done, job overdue, job on hold etc etc. My otak also tepu with non stop things to do. Yesterday, i woke up in the morning and saw near my chin a pimples. Grrr...
Tomorrow is the last day to do all the remaining stuff. Pay bills etc...I don t want to worry while I m away.

I thank you Allah

2008-01-03T12:39:00.000+08:00

Alhamdulilah, we've come to the year of 2008. I ll be 29 this year, pojee will be 36 and eam will be 3. Weehoo! How fast time flies...2007 was the most challenging year for me and my family. My mom been diagnosed with cancer, my dad had minor stroke a week before he went for Haj and my cousin Armin pass away. Despite of all that, I have so many reason to thank Allah for all the lesson that I ve learnt. The most important thing that I learn is 'qada dan qadar'. I finally discover what is the true meaning of that after few major incidents happen to me. I'm blessed with all the love from the people around me.

Syukur tak terhingga, all my hajat came true. Mama and Abah now is performing their Haj, eventhough both are not that fit. 2 months before that Mama did her CT scan and the result shows all her patience, courage and zikir works with her 6 cycle chemo. The reduction of the tumor surprised us all including the doctor. All my bad dreams and thought proves me wrong when I realised how strong is the POWER OF MIND.

After 54 years, Mama finally had a wonderful birthday party. Its been my ultimate dream to make a surprise party for Mama. With all the support from family and friends, Mama had a wonderful nite. A night to remember for me and her. The next morning, I received a sms for her ' GREATEST SURPRISE,I STILL CANT BELIEVE. THANK U THANK U'.

Manggis turns 7 this year. We now have 1 little brother 'Manggis Fotografik' to look after. New spirit, new ideas is what I look forward for this new year. Alhamdullilah, rezeki orang kawen tak putus-putus...I thank Allah for giving me the source of rezeki which I can share with all my staff. Every year when I manage to give bonus to them, I felt so relieve. I dont know why but it just give me the good feeling, the feeling of sharing...

Hope this year bring me more joy and happiness in life and work. More time to be spend with my family, my son and my sili.

What a great Partayy!--click here to see more photos!

2007-11-27T16:19:00.000+08:00

Syhhh it s a surprise

2007-11-26T14:26:00.000+08:00

A trip to remember

2007-09-10T08:57:00.000+08:00

Just got back from our hometown, Kota Bharu. E-am tag along with us and as expected he had few episode of self demonstration at the airport, market and few other places.Muka akak ni dah taktau tebal mana dah... Sabar je lah. But most of all, we had fun. Me and mama were laughing all the way watching e-am in action. Nantilah ada masa , I ll tell you more stories of this trip.

Mama and E-am looks great.

We are different, yet we are alike

2007-09-03T02:31:00.000+08:00

Courage

2007-09-03T02:02:00.000+08:00

What Is Courage
Brenda Wiseman, R.N.,C.

Have you ever wondered where people get the COURAGE to deal with life's adversities? Reflecting on your own life, perhaps you have questioned the source of your personal courage. Talking with people in the clinic each day, I am struck by the incredible courage of our patients and their families.

In exploring the definition of courage, I was reminded that courage is NOT the absence of fear. It is a quality of mind which meets danger or opposition with valor, firmness and bravery. This definition still seems inadequate to describe the reflection in the eyes of people who frequent this clinic. Upon further exploration, I learned that the French root word of courage is coeur which means heart. The heart as the sustaining source of courage... Courage that is "rooted" in love. This definition brought clarity to the reflection seen in the eyes of those living with cancer and their loved ones.

In 1534 Martin Luther was quoted (in preface to his translation of the Psalms) "The human heart is like a ship on a stormy sea driven about by winds blowing from all four corners of heaven." Cancer is certainly one of the stormiest seas of life, and it calls for courage in both aspects of its definition: firmness in the presence of danger and heart in the form of love.

As I look at cancer patients and their loved ones, I see that love seems to be the essential ingredient to propel us in life and the fundamental source of courage.

A song for Mama

2007-09-01T02:41:00.000+08:00

I remember singing this to mama through the phone while I was away. It really suits to what I felt about my mama.
Hope one day, E-am will be singing me this song too :)

You taught me everything
And everything youve given me
I always keep it inside
Youre the driving force in my life, yeah
There isnt anything
Or anyone I can be
And it just wouldnt feel right
If I didnt have you by my side
You were there for me to love and care for me
When skies were grey
Whenever I was down
You were always there to comfort me
And no one else can be what you have been to me
Youll always be you always will be the girl
In my life for all times

Chorus:
Mama, mama you know I love you
Oh you know I love you
Mama, mama youre the queen of my heart
Your love is like
Tears from the stars
Mama, I just want you to know
Lovin you is like food to my soul
Youre always down for me
Have always been around for me even when I was bad
You showed me right from my wrong
Yes you did
And you took up for me
When everyone was downin me
You always did understand
You gave me strength to go on
There was so many times
Looking back when I was so afraid
And then you come to me
And say to me I can face anything
And no one else can do
What you have done for me
Youll always be
You will always be the girl in my life

i cried.

Emotion swings

2007-09-01T02:08:00.000+08:00

Its hard to describe my feelings right now. At times, I'm on top of my positive energy and at times I'm drifting apart. Ya Allah, kuatkanlah semangat ku ini. Time is like so precious to me right now. Juggling myself as a mother, daughter, wife and an employer is very challenging for me. There's no time to be selfish, all I can think right now is to accomodate as much as I can to every responsibilities. I thank you for those who have been helping and supporting me in many aspects. From helping me taking care of E-am at the office to giving me the oppurtanity to spend time with Mama. You know who you are.I thank you very much.
Mama had gone through her second chemo last week and now recovering the side effects. In another 2 weeks time, she ll be doing her third chemo again. Hmmm..another disaster routine to go. But Mama is hanging there, firm and tawakal. Ya Allah, panjangkanlah masa Mama bersama kami, berikanlah mama kekuatan, berikanlah kami sekeluarga kekuatan untuk menerima dugaanmu ini...

No more tears

2007-08-13T14:38:00.000+08:00

Yes,no more tears. No more kesian mama. No more all the negative thoughts.Guys,if i ever talk about negative stories..knock me on head ya!hehheheh...
From today, I wish to remain as positive as i can be. After all that's what i ve been taught since small. All these dugaan from Allah is for a reason. One of the reason is for me to tawakal, menerima takdir dan qada & qadar.But at the same time berikhtiar and not to give up hope. Thank you Azrai&Sity for introducing me to 'the secret'book. It really makes me feel good and I'm trying my very best to be a positive thinker. I think everybody should read this book.It educate us on how we actually can heal our self and to achieve anything that we want by controlling our mind.And of course besides this, we will always look for the best treatment to fight cancer. And if we do not find it, just have laugh.After all, laughter is the best medicine and its free!
I would like to thank you for all the support/prayers for my mama.Mudah-mudahan dengan berkat doa kalian, dapat melegakan dan memberi semangat untuknya.aminn..
Mama is doing great for the past few days. Some people don't even believe that she got cancer in her.She eats well, she laugh , she's just like herself.But at times, when some visitor/caller who don't know how to react to cancer patient,will actually torn her into pieces again. Hmmm...therefor, i wish to share on how we can help cancer patient to fight this.
1.Let us not mention they are a cancer patient.Name them 'CANCER SURVIVOR'.
2.Instead of talking about their sickness, talk about happy/inspired stories or any issue that got nothing to do with cancer.
3.Act normal.Don't pity them.Be happy.
4.Bring your positive energy her that's the least you can do.

Its not how long you live, it's how well you live you life.
insyallah....

good day ahead

2007-08-08T11:41:00.000+08:00

There are good days and bad days with cancer. Today i would say, its a good day so far.It give me a great pleasure when i manage to make mama smile. A laughter is like a bonus to me. E -am is my tool to make mama forget all her sadness.I'm reading 'Healing cancer emotionally ' by a psychiatrist specialised in cancer patients.Mama said she wants to go for a holiday next week. Yey! She's taking the next step and I'm very happy.hmm...nak gi mana yek?

Everything happen for a reason

2007-08-07T15:57:00.000+08:00

After mama's 4th day of her chemo, life have been challenging for everyone of us especially mama.Most of the time she's tired and fall asleep for few hours(this is very rare for her).Everytime i see her, i know dia tak putus-putus berzikir...She's been crying a lot...more than i ever knew her.At times, while we just have a simple conversation, she will cry.Abah can't sleep at night.I know he's worried.Me?Its a lie if i say everything is ok. I do have my breakdown at times.But I try my best not to breakdown in front of mama. I know everything happen for a reason. Pasti ada hikmah di sebalik ujian Allah ini.

2007-08-02T15:39:00.000+08:00

Dear Friends,

For those who know personally my mom, last 2 days she was diagnosed as a cancer patient. Tomorrow she ll start her first chemo session. I hope all of us would pray for her to face all the challenge and mudah-mudahan dengan berkat doa semua, dia dipanjangkan umur.aminnn...
And as for now, i ll devote all my time for my dear mama.I might not write too often but i ll update when i have free time.

i like to take a quote from kak intan,

orang dapat cancer adalah insan terpilih
Allah pilih untuk hampir kepadanya
untuk bersedia menjadi kekasih dia
InsyaAllah

and Azrai also gave me a good advice on positive thinking

If we were to fake our positive mind, then be it.
Remove physiological stress from the body,
and the body does what it was designed to do.
It heals itself.
Insyallah

*Kak Intan and Azrai is a daughter and son of a fighter in cancer.

Not everyday you see a multitasking man

2007-07-29T14:24:00.000+08:00

While I'm having my breakfast at Ampang Puteri yesterday,sitting beside my table was a man with his daughter.What caught my attention was his ability of doing few things at one time. Well, if its the mothers it wont bother me that much.This man probably in his early 30s, having nasi lemak while holding his daughter on his lap.And beside that he is also feeding his daughter while reading a newspaper.fuyoh! 4 perbuatan dalam satu masa. cayalah bang!i salute you!

Good books are the warehouses of ideas -H. G. Wells-

2007-07-20T14:24:00.000+08:00

MUST READ BOOKS FOR ALL WORKING WOMAN ESPECIALLY WITH KIDS

CHICKEN SOUP FOR WORKING WOMAN SOUL

*It will definately relief all your stress/tiredness/pressure

2007-07-15T17:03:00.000+08:00

Ikon Malaysia Semi Final

2007-07-12T15:20:00.001+08:00

For those who miss this show, enjoy!

Yup, they've made it to the FINAL KONSERT.Congrats!

happy birthday

2007-07-07T22:00:00.000+08:00

A Special World

A special world for you and me
A special bond one cannot see
It wraps us up in its cocoon
And holds us fiercely in its womb.

Its fingers spread like fine spun gold
Gently nestling us to the fold
Like silken thread it holds us fast
Bonds like this are meant to last.

And though at times a thread may break
A new one forms in its wake
To bind us closer and keep us strong
In a special world, where we belong.

Happy Birthday, my dear sili
You are always young at heart!

You rock man!

2007-07-05T08:54:00.001+08:00

Check out Mr Pojee performing with his VI band together with Flop Poppy in Ikon Malaysia this Saturday 830pm.

Sorry for the bad photo.Was too excited watching my sili...:P anyway..kalau nampak dia yang belah kanan sekali tu. I m so proud of you !

me and andy

SAWADIKAPP!

2007-07-05T08:42:00.001+08:00

I ll be away to Bangkok from 5 July-9 July.

Making Memories

2007-06-25T16:09:00.000+08:00

On my previous entree,

In another 2 weeks time, I ll be leaving to Singapore and try to breakaway from my work. We decide not to bring E-am as its more like a bussiness affair for me and pojee. I know I will miss him soo much but I dont want to drag him to the expo and make myself and pojee go mad pleasing him.

WE DECIDE TO BRING E-AM TO SINGAPORE AND NO REGRETS ABOUT IT!

I m so glad to we decide to bring this little creature along with us in Singapore. I HAD A BLAST with e-am there. It was a split decision actually...hehehe.last minute decision with a condition if Tok Ma(my mama) coming, then E-am is coming too! After few days of thinking(tok ma pon suspen nak travel ngan e am), finally tok ma said YES! heheheh thanks mama...we are making memories with e am this time.

E am toksah cakap la kan, excited yang tak terkata. We even prepared ourselves mentally and physically for this trip. Besides our personal stuff, I packed along some of his fav toys and also a portable DVD player with his fav DVD (my son is easily bored ok, so need to have lots of backup plan)
We also decide not to stay in Singapore hotels as the rate is like double/triple for the original fair due to the broadcast asia week. I would rather spend those money in shopping rather than sleeping in 3star hotel for RM500 per day. So we spend 3 nites in Bluewave Hotel in Johor with RM370/nite for family suite. Excellent!
I would like to share some happy/funny/unforgetable moments during this trip:

• the first time e am enter the hotel, he gone mad! He is running round and round the suite. Masuk bilik kluar bilik, masuk toilet klua toilet, bukak almari, masuk almari. Peti ais pon dia bukak. tgk cermin cakap sorang2. pastu when he went to the living room with a 'WOW' expression...adehlaaa budak nih. Bukak tingkap he said 'CC!' (KLCC) padahal nampak bandar johor jek...hahhaha

• In singapore, there's a lot of car similar to manggis mobil. Everytime he saw that kind of car, he'll say 'GANGGISH!'...

• In Vivocity, there's a lot of water feature around the mall. He said 'Mummy, mummy.. swim, swim!'. Adeilaaa...aku macam marathon kejar dia nak terjun dlm water sculpture/fountain.

• On his first time ride on MRT, he were so excited he's finally on a train. Mula-mula naik, he closed his ears sebab bunyi kuat sangat and yang paling horor skali when we need to change the train, he is crying like mad.nangis macam dah kena tinggal train..satu station tengok...grrrr...saba je lah!

-I think this incident is the most unforgettable.
Imagine this:
On our way back from Singapore, we stop by at the 7eleven to buy some drinks.Elok je Pojee turun keter, my 'anak bertuah ni' terus je melompat ke driver seat.Tengah elok-elok dia berangan-angan bawak keter, bapak dia datang lalu terkejut lah anak bertuahku ini. Terus dia melompat menyelamatkan diri daripada kena marah ngan abah dia. Dalam dok dia melompat tu, kaki cik e am ni macam terlanggar kat gear keter, I tot tade apa lah kan...sikit je.Bila Pojee nak masuk gear je, tak bleh masuk..apa lagiiiii(as we all know pojee) mengamok lah dia! Antara ayat2 yang aku ingat Pojee marah anak bertuah dia nih is' Apa dah e am buat kat kete abah nih?habis takleh masuk gear!rosak dah kete nih!cable tercabut nih!' Sambil terpinga-pinga cik e am nengok abah dia ngamok dia ckp 'mummy..mummy,roshakk(rosak) aaa.babutttt(cabut)....pastu Pojee sebok dok telepon orang nak tanya camne nak setel, panic dengan telepon ke sana ke mari...datang je abah dia masuk kete, cik e am cakap ' Abah..... lagu?' Ada hati lagi tuuu mintak laguuu setelah abah dia ngamok...aku n mama ketawa sampai kuar air mata masa tu .....i can even laugh until now thinking of that

I'm so glad that I'm making all this wonderful memories with my dear son. I enjoy every minute of our time together.Children they are tend to be annoying and distracting at times but we need to enjoy this moment while we can.In another 20 years he probably wont even need you this much.
My new self discover : I discover this making memories can be done anywhere, anytime. You just need to realise and embrace the moment !

Bonjour!

2007-06-17T14:09:00.000+08:00

Wahaaa...I finally finished reading 'Weekend in Paris' by Robyn Sisman after 2 weeks reading.Phewww...

Synopsis:
It only takes a weekend to change your life!

Weekend in Paris is the story of Molly Clearwater, a well-read 21-year-old country girl who's never done anything exciting or dramatic-until now.

One Friday afternoon, smarting from her boss's taunt that she's "just a secretary," Molly quits her job and boards the Eurostar for Paris. Within hours of arriving in the bewitching world of leafy boulevards, luscious foods and crazy traffic, she's a woman transformed. A real femme sauvage! Soon she's racing along the Seine on the back of a scooter with her cheek laid against the warm back of a smouldering Frenchmen, infiltrating a conference in a Cleopatra wig, and sharing with a complete stranger her deepest, darkest secret. By Sunday night, after a dizzying carousel-ride of passion, excitement and self-discovery, Molly's a new person.

My Review:
Its light and easy reading and quite adventurous. But it's too much of goody, fantasy and too easy to predict. It's suitable for teenagers who seek for their true identity in life. Maybe, if I'm in that category, i might enjoy it then...oops, I sounds OLD.
GRRRR

2007-06-15T01:07:00.000+08:00

Taman Melawati aka Beverly Hills

2007-06-14T16:24:00.000+08:00

It's not like everyday you bump into few well known people all in one place. Me and Pojee had late lunch in KFC, Taman Melawati. On the way there, we bump into Khadijah Ibrahim. Cantik lagii makcik nih! When we enter KFC, we saw Dato' Ahmad Nawab and Shidee. Dua- dua dok layan makan KFC dengan kusyuknya... Then later, tengah kami pulak layan makan, Steve Thorton pulak masuk beli KFC. Aik, hebat btul Taman Melawati nih. Rasa macam duk kat Beverly Hills la pulak kan...

2007-06-12T19:32:00.000+08:00

Allah itu maha kaya. Maha pemurah dan mengasihani.

alhamdullilah syukur...

The best is yet to come

2007-06-09T11:30:00.001+08:00

I believe that everybody have their own journey of life. Everyone of us have our own dreams to pursue everyday...I live my life everyday dreaming of getting something I dont have now but maybe over the years, I might get it. I know a lot of us do the same too..There's nothing wrong with dreaming because dreams DO come true IF YOU PUT IT IN REALITY AND WORK FOR IT (being 'mat jenin' wont work ya)

Over the years of building Manggis, I realised that I have a lot to be proud of. NOT on myself but to the people in manggis which I now name them, MANGGISIANS. Looking at each of everyone progress have somehow make myself 'bersyukur'. On my prayers, I always pray to 'murahkan rezeki Manggis supaya dapat dikongsi dengan yang lain'. And alhamdullilah, everyone of us still have a place to stay, nice cloth to wear everyday, gadgets to buy , endless sms to our love ones and most of all almost everyone in Manggis will gain weight after few years working (except for me lah kan, akak maintain ok!). Aha! that means semua cukup or likely lebih makann..alhamdullilah...syukurr...I'm glad that over the years of hard work, Manggisians have gone to Singapore and Bali twice ( don't we just miss restu bali and ketupat and jinbaran and and...).

From just the two of us(me and pojee) doing video weddings, we are now 10 members all together. 3 of them are my x students. Riza who is back than a 'ketua murid' in his class at EDI ( my first job as a lecturer) was the first employee in Manggis. He starts his journey with zero knowledge in video editing, travels from cheras to Tmn Melawati by lrt/bus and no girlfriend (eh yeke?). Now, Riza can edit wedding videos like peanuts, travel by car, support his family and definately have a girlfriend.(bila nak edit video sendiri nih?).

Jon who is from Tgganung kita is known for his MIA(missing in action) during classes but have talent in design. I always scold him for not being consistent in his work and his lack of communication with me. Alhamdullilah, I personally can see the difference in him over the years. He's now producing much better and consistent work, wish me good morning when he came early or sorry, saya datang lambat when he's late (denda tetap kena ye..but that attitude i like).
Maphia (who is not that mafia) came to manggis later after Jon. Back than, he use to balik kampung( Seremban) by the komuter and own no fancy stuff. Now we call him as 'Mat Gadget'. You name it, any new gadgets from apple products to crumpler bag will be exhibit in his cubicle. And lately he's no longer to be seen in any lrt/komuter station. They who before I refer as a fresh grad in graphics, now is a multimedia designer with a multiple skills from video editing, designing and the videographer who capture THE MOMENT at Manggis.

Next is our Project Manager. Anuar(aka nuat) is my junior in MMU who I ve known for his skills in communication and passion in bussiness. I do remember in my uni years, when me and pojee opened up a stall during the convo and nuat was just around the corner selling drinks. From nasi tomato to car rental, u named it. He has done it all. His journey in Manggis starts with a Kriss motorbike (which is not proportion in his size), single, ambitious and confius I must said. Over 2 years plus, he's now a proud husband and owner of his new alfa. In another 4 months, he'll be joining in the 'father's club'. With his passion in bussiness, I hope we can see Manggis branch somewhere in the North soon,insyallah.

The youngest of us is definitely Fahmy. When he join us, he was just 19, blur and thin. Looking at that age, we know what to expect from this age group. For over 2 years of lecturing and scolding, he whom just turn 21 ( baru legal masuk disco fahmy oiii!), have showed at least an improovements in design but still not on his TIME. And by the way, he gain few kilos here and there.The 3 other people, Ra, Yasser and Haidar have not work up to 1 year. So I prefer to give them some time to proove themselves and I will be happy writing this sort of entree about their achievements in the future.
As for me and pojee, we both are so glad to be part of this. Glad to share the rezeki with this individuals. Happy to see them getting married, buying new car, tukar sport rim moto, to be able enjoying their life and to be a better person. We realised that each of everyone of us are different yet we compliment each other with our positive and negative way. Every each of our milestone is an accomplishment to every one at Manggis. Every achievement is a teamwork success.

Let us not to forget that we still have a long journey to go. More things need to be learn, to accomlplish in our lifes and be a better wife, husband, son, daughter , friend, collegue, boss, staff and most of all TO BE WHAT WE WANT TO BE. I'm not expecting that they will be in Manggis forever but I hope they learn something here and I learn something from them too. I hope they remember that we have lots of fond memories back in Manggis. As for now(since we are still Manggisians, dont we) let us keep the spirit burning and keep on capturing those wonderful moments of our clients. I hope we will continue improoving ourself for the future to come.

The best is yet to come.

SELALU DENGANMU by TOMPI

2007-06-07T08:48:00.001+08:00

adakah waktu yg tak berbatas
untukku merasa bahagia
saat-saat aku jatuh cinta
saat ku terbang jauh ke sana

**: selalu denganmu
kasihku selamanya
selalu denganmu
cintaku bersama

kaulah matahari dalam hidupku
dan kaulah cahaya bulan di malamku
hadirmu selalu akan ku tunggu
cintamu selalu akan ku rindu

A note to my sili bili

2007-06-05T23:01:00.000+08:00

Through the laughter
Through the tears
Through the months
And through the years
Through all we've seen
And all that's been
Through the old
And all that's new
I'm forever grateful
That I have found you

muahs!muahs!

Things happen for a reason :P

Amboi sakan !

2007-06-04T17:12:00.000+08:00

Amboiiii fishie..sakan hang aa...nampak sangat tak buat keje. 5 entree satu hari nih. Sakan hang no!
dah sudah.

Book Review : Where Rainbow Ends

2007-06-04T16:52:00.000+08:00

Synopsis:
From naughty children to rebellious teenagers, Rosie and Alex have stuck by each other through thick and thin. But just as they're discovering the joys of teenage nights on the town and dating disasters, they're separated. Alex's family moves from Dublin to America – and Alex goes with them. For good.

Rosie's lost without her best friend. But on the eve of her departure to join Alex in Boston, Rosie gets news that will change her life forever – and keep her at home in Ireland.

Their magical connection sees them through the ups and downs of each other's lives but neither of them knows whether their friendship can really survive the years and miles – as well as new relationships. And at the back of Rosie's mind is whether they were meant to be more than just good friends all along. Misunderstandings, circumstances and sheer bad luck have kept them out of each others' arms, but when presented with the ultimate opportunity, will they gamble everything – including their friendship – for true love?

Destiny, Alex and Rosie discover, is a funny thing and fate isn't quite done with them yet…

My Review:
Call me silly, emotional or whatever but I have to admit that I had a good cry after reading this book. Let me tell you a secret, I m a fan of friendship turns to lovers stories. My all time favourite movies which related to this is When Harry Met Sally, My Girl and You ve got mail. I really like the idea of falling in love with your male best friend and look what I ve accomplish by getting married with my best friend Pojee, my silly billy. Wuhuuu! Dream do come true eh!
Oppsie, I m suppose to write a review of this novel not on mine. hehehehe. ok ok. Hmmmm...apa nak cakap eh.. BEST GILER!I cant help myself smile and have tears all the same time. The best thing of this book is that- its not entirely wrote in the normal way. It tells you the story through email, chat log, greetings card, letters and some other form of communication. So its like being a stalker reading through people emails, chat log and other personal stuff. You combine all the info and tadaaa you get the whole scenario. Best best best!

Email to Abah & Mama

2007-06-04T16:35:00.000+08:00

Askum Abah & Mama,

Hows Spain? Paris...must be soo much fun over there.

Just sending you this email to update you on E-am progress. He is such a wonderful boy. Annoying but cheeky.
Last week we went to sity and azrai new house and E am got to meet his friend, Indah. Indah is soo cute,chubby and loves singing and talking and jumping. E am haluss je. E am had a great time with Indah. Siap boleh ikut tagline aizat and heliza. KASI GEGARRRR! Lepas hari tu, E am pon ikut jugakk...GEGARRRRR....hahhahahah. Bila yan ckp BEREHHH , E am also said BEREHHH. hahhahaah so funny.

When we got back home, E am sure tanya Indaahh? And when we mentioned indah name, he will said GEGARRRR.hahahahha
E am also can say Manggishh when he see manggis van. Ingat apa benda dia ckp but bila dengar betul2, dia ckp manggishhh..

He really loves The Incredibles.Ntah brapa kali dah dok tgk over and over again the movie. Smpai part lawan or part yg nak terkejut dia dah tau. Siap lari jauh2.

Yesterday he ate nasi dagang. Bukan main suka lagii. Pastu makan lakse kelate. Banyak jugak dia makan. Mat kelate rupanya!
hahahaha

Well, thats all for now. Hope both of you enjoy the holiday. You deserve it. Take care.
E am miss tok ma and tok abah.
Bila yan tanya dia , where s tok ma n tok abah?
Dia ckp PARISSHHHH

e am .... e ammm...

Love, Yan

Book Review : West End Girls

2007-06-04T15:26:00.000+08:00

Synopsis:
The streets of London are paved with gold . . . allegedly.

They may be twin sisters, but Lizzie and Penny Berry are complete opposites – Penny is blonde, thin and outrageous; Lizzie quiet, thoughtful and, well, definitely not thin. The one trait they do share is a desire to DO something with their lives, and as far as they're concerned, the place to get noticed is London.

Out of the blue they discover they have a grandmother living in Chelsea – and when she has to go into hospital, they find themselves flat-sitting on the King’s Road. But, as they discover, it’s not as easy to become It Girls as they’d imagined, and west end boys aren’t at all like Hugh Grant . . .

My Review:
I love this book for its wonderful twist plot and the character of both twin sisters.
It tells you that sometime what we have dream is probably not the best for us. Penny always thought with money she can buy happiness and how wrong is that. Lizzie who is so shy in her feelings towards man, dont do any good either. At the end of the story, Penny end up with a not so famous painter who lives sub urban with not much money in his pocket. But this guy is full of love for her and makes her smile everyday. Lizzie on the other hand, end up with a millionaire who own a chain of restaurant all over London. For both of them are not physically perfect for each other but they share the same interest which is good food. Yumm !

Break Away

2007-06-04T11:56:00.000+08:00

Last year, I said to myself that in 2007, I will travel again to Europe or any 4 season country. As the saying goes ' kita hanya merancang,tuhan menentukan' is definitely true. This year, we have to cut down the budget of travelling due to the new shop. I must say money runs out like water lately and I m being conscious of spending more money for persoanal leisure.

Coincidently, Broadcast/Communic Asia will be held on 19-21 June 2007 at Singapore. For the people who know well enough my dear Pojee, will definitely know his obsession in all sort of camera/editing/related products gadgets. So i guess, it gives us the oppurtanity of goin to Singapore on bussiness trip and for me a breakaway from my daily job.

Been searching for a rooms and it seems I got cheated in the special internet rate on their website. When I called them, they were saying 'sorry, your visit in singapore falls on the communic week and all rate for singapore hotel is sligtly higher'. Whatt??
Most of the hotels rate are at $280-320. Ish..baru nak berangan dok hotel best best kat Singapore. Isk isk what a spoiler.
With that kinda rate, its still fully book. Danggg... Mana nak carik lagi ni? Pojee suggested Hotel 81. Oh no! The last time I was in Hotel 81,Geylang was the most terrifying moment in my life. I just felt sick looking at all the hookers with their 7 eleven service. He remind me of the other branch of Hotel 81 in Bugis which we have pass few times on our way to Bugis Junction. I remember the hotel do look far more decent than the one in Geylang. So I tried to ring that and yes there s still room available on those dates with a $210nett per day. That's like RM450+ and in KL we can even stay in any 5 star hotel. But there's not much option really, so i booked right away.

In another 2 weeks time, I ll be leaving to Singapore and try to breakaway from my work. We decide not to bring E-am as its more like a bussiness affair for me and pojee. I know I will miss him soo much but I dont want to drag him to the expo and make myself and pojee go mad pleasing him. Disneyland is THE perfect destination for the 3 of us. E-am, let mummy make more more money and we can go to Disneyland soon ya.

Mama & Abah is now in Spain and soon be leaving to London in the next few days.
Ola !

Joyride

2007-06-04T00:44:00.000+08:00

Phew..what a tough time i had for the past few weeks..I finally getting more stable and comfortable with the new routine of the new shop.Opening a shop is not as simple as setting up a company.All through the years i learn this: To setup a bussiness is easy but to maintain it is a different story.
Retail and production is 2 separate things to do. With no knowledge and a little experience ( use to sell poscard at my parents gallery at CM) , I just go 'belasah' using my basic instinct and of course with guidance from my mentor, my mom. Well, both of us are not graduate in any bussiness school or whatsoever ( me: creative multimedia,mmu while mama: fine metal,itm ) but probably it runs in our blood for having this bussiness minded all the time.
Anyway, Manggis Fotografik is doin great now, alhamdullilah.I thank Allah everyday for the rezeki that I can share with all my other staff. I meet new people especially photographers in the shop. Ex-client coming back to print their wedding photos again or their newborn babies. Everyday is a learning process to me.

The most enjoyable things that I ve done lately is I start reading again. Unbelievable! I cant even remember when was the last time a read a book ( i mean a real story book). On my teenagers years I love reading Sidney sheldon and danielle steel's novels.
When I got into MMU, my type of book change from love novels to art book. Learning how mystic life is when you see visually or in an abstract form. Everything happens for a reason. Forms follow function and all the intelectual stuff. Been a fan of David Carson and Blackwell at that time.
After I graduate, I hardly remember reading any books. Oh dear..poor me! When i start working, nope still not reading anything. All i remember i do read magazine like KLUE, motivation book ( half way), all time favourite pancaindera slot on sunday and loads of wedding magazine. When I got pregnant i did read few books on pregnancy, babies and stuff like that. And when E-am (new name for my Ilham, credit to indah) was born i completely cant read anything except Noddy, Barney, Elmo and some weird creatures story which my son adore.
And now, all of sudden I have the urge of reading a real story book again. I went to Kinokuniya and seek for a book which light, fun and easy reading as i dont want to spoil this mood by reading heavy issues. So i thought it would be nice reading something that relate to my job which is wedding and wedding is associated with LOVE. Yup! I managed to find a romantic comedy novel which of course have a nice and sweet cover ( i do judge a book by its cover..hehehe) . So i bought myself a book West End Girls by Jenny Colgan.

The first attempt reading is kinda hard with e-am by myside. He will be snatch the book and try to distract me from reading. He even leave a stain with his sloppy kiss at the book. I just start reading for a day and the book looks like a second hand book. I even take a time break by having a lunch at Dome Cafe all by myself just to finish up the book. Hip hip horey! West End Girl done! ( will write the book review soon) . Since KLCC is the most convinient place for me to go ( thanks to the elevated highway) I went back again to Kinokuniya to find my next book. Got myself a book by Cecelia Ahern: When Rainbow Ends.

Surprise.Surprise. I finish reading the book in just 3 days.And by the time I finished reading the last chapter, I was crying for almost 10 minutes. Sili me. But I cant help it reading this story which is so hmm how should i say...beautiful and inspiring.( I definately will write the review soon!)
My next book is Weekend in Paris by Robyn Sisman. Simply bought this book just because I love Paris so much and the fact that mama and abah is in Paris now on their 30th anniversary honeymoon. Grrrr... how I wish the flight ticket is cheaper and the euro is like rupiah.

Anyway, reading again is such a wonderful experience to me. It was once a food for my soul and now it does the same thing again and again.

Cheers.

L.O.V.E

2007-05-04T09:12:00.000+08:00

Love... we think about it, sing about it, dream about it, lose sleep worrying about it. When we don't have it, we search for it. When we discover it, we don't know what to do with it. When we have it, we fear losing it. It is the constant source of pleasure and pain. But we can't predict which it will be from one moment to the next. It is a short word, easy to spell, difficult to define, impossible to live without.

Hadapi dengan senyuman

2007-05-03T20:37:00.000+08:00

Its been really stressful days,weeks,months for me. Tired, exausted and non stop thinking about work, life & family.This song somehow give me some thoughts of being more calm and tawakal.

HADAPI DENGAN SENYUMAN
SEMUA YANG TERJADI
BIAR TERJADI….
HADAPI DENGAN TENANG JIWA
SEMUA... KAN BAIK BAIK SAJA

BILA KETETAPAN TUHAN
SUDAH DITETAPKAN
TETAPLAH SUDAH….
TAK ADA YANG BISA MERUBAH
DAN TAKKAN BISA BERUBAH

REFF
RELAKANLAH SAJA INI
BAHWA SEMUA YANG TERBAIK
TERBAIK UNTUK KITA SEMUA
MENYERAHLAH UNTUK MENANG

Untitled Poem

2007-04-30T14:13:00.000+08:00

airmata berlinangan tanpa diminta
bagai tertusuk hatiku meronta-ronta
perjalanan jiwaku tidak semudah disangka
kuatkan iman, teguhkan semangat
mudah-mudahan hari esok bersinar kembali

It's finally out !

2007-04-25T12:30:00.000+08:00

click image to enlarge

*the only thing which I feel not right in this write up is the usage word of 'educate' in last paragraph. On the interview I actually said 'to give ideas to photographer'. Maybe it was misinterpret in the write ups . So to whoever felt offended please accept my humble apology. It's something beyond my capacity to approve the write up before its been pulished.

Manggis New Member

2007-04-08T15:56:00.000+08:00

Ilham @ 1 year 7 month

2007-04-06T11:24:00.000+08:00

This is the boy that melt my heart day and night. Dah lama tak update about this cheeky boy. here are some of the updates:

He loves to play with his toys especially anything with wheels. He loves to take a ride with his motorbike around the house. He also loves to watch tv ( not just cartoon, but action movies and sometime i caught him watching af...).He also loves making friends with people, but i notice that he prefer to be friend with adults than his peer group. He loves music! When we are inside the car, if there's no music he will point at the cd player. He's currently listening to tak tercapai akalmu by elyana. He will do his head bangging and moves his hand up and down ( like a drummer) when he listen to any rock songs.(ni mmg ikut abah dia lah nih).He's still in love with anything that have cheese and prefer western food. (ikut abah lagikk!)
He's now on training brushing his teeth.

Ilhamku selalu dan selamanya...

2007-03-31T12:17:00.000+08:00

While we try to teach our children all about life,
Our children teach us what life is all about.
~Angela Schwindt

What success means to you?

2007-03-30T09:43:00.000+08:00

I ve never been asked about what success means to you until last tuesday on this interview session. It somehow stumble me with certain thoughts of defination of success. I remember meeting a father of a friend who once told me ' When I can purchase a mercedes, i 'm a succesful man'. Well, i do respect his vision but at the same time i find myself asking what actually i want in life. Money? Power? Posessions? Hmm... you need money to survive and power to get what you want. But to what extend of wealth are you looking for. We can never be satisfied with what we have. We always wanting more and more. I imagine myself being in a luxury car with a smart home near klcc. Will i be happy? Hell yes, i will be happy but will i be truly truly happy?

Well, i m telling you this : I will be happy when i can afford to give whats best for my family, raise up my children to be someone that i can be proud of, improoving myself to be a better muslimah and enjoy life with family and friends. That is a success for me.

How about you?
Maybe you can share with me here...

My First Photo Shoot

2007-03-28T18:07:00.000+08:00

Wohooo!! I finally made it, my first photoshoot for a magazine. Phewww..kecut perut makcik memikirkan this photo session. Usually I m the one who work behind the scene and this time I'm the subject. Adeh pening...pening..few days memikirkan what to wear(ni problem big time), what sort of smile should i put in , etc etc... But alhamdullilah, all run smoothly . Shockingly in this photo session I'm wearing MNG (tak penah berangan dpt fit in this) tops and accesories. Once the magazine is out , i will update .

What's in the Hercules? Be one of the first 200 to know

2007-03-24T10:49:00.000+08:00

We are honoured to be invited by Mr. Wolfgang Schlimme, Managing Director of BMW Malaysia on the new MINI launching at Apac, Subang last night. The campaign for this car 'What's in the Hercules?' was great. The gimmick of the launch also gempak tak hengat. Mini tu turun kot kapal kapalterbang tuh...